Can Dextyr Keep All These Strikers Alive? (DM: JoeNotCharles, Ozymandias79 Judging)

[Lord Sessadore]

"You can give him a celebration hug when we come back after doing the job, Tonk," Tristan says quietly as he takes the papers and slides them under the door. "Farewell, halfling. We will return shortly, when our task is complete," he calls through the door.
[sblock=OOC]We should probably take a rest before we head out. I'm sure that Tristan's bloodied (13 damage with an unarmed attack, ridiculous!), and it sounds like the rest of us are nearly there. I think it would be better to rest somewhere other than the Temple, though, so we're out of Mr. Un-named Halfling's hair [/sblock]

 

[JoeNotCharles]

The papers whip back under the door with astonishing speed. You hear mumbling and the hairs on your arms stand up as magic fills the air. Then the halfling shoves the papers back through the slot again.

"Szere. I have my copy. You have your copy. You have your misszion. You can be onsz your vay."

"PLEASZE be onsz your vay..."

 

[KenHood]

Tonk covers his mouth, suppressing giggles as the halfling priest talks. After he finishes, Tonk says...

"Okay. We good to go, but I no clear on one thing. What is mission?"

 

[DMDanW]

"Okay. We good to go, but I no clear on one thing. What is mission?"

"The mission is to go and kill Marglespat Applethorpe. We are deputized by the church and thereby legally able to go and kill him in the name of this church. Once we kill him we get a reward of 500 gold peices." Dextyr replies, trying to put it as bluntly as possible.

"I agree that we should rest up and then approach the cottage under the cover of night"

 

[JoeNotCharles]

"MARGLE..." The voice pauses, and you hear a loud sigh from behind the door as the halfling realizes what's coming next. He continues in a resigned voice. "Kill. Margleszpat. Yesz, you heard me. MARGLESZPAT. MARGLESZPAT MARGLESZPAT MARGLESZPAT!" Even through the door you can tell he's bracing himself for Tonk's inevitable laughter.

 

[KenHood]

"Szpat! Hee-hee-hee!"

"Okay, next question: You want maybe part of body as proof? Like ear or finger? Maybe head?"

 

[JoeNotCharles]

"If you vant. But ve vill know. Zat's vhat ve DO."

 

[KenHood]

"No, no. Is okay. One less thing to carry."

"Okay. Another question: Papa say is crude to kill for money. Is better to kill for to make people think. Yes? So, I think maybe we make person give half of everything he own to temple. Then, we bring him here. He become slave of church for rest of life. Church make more money. Bad person is punish. Church get someone to clean floor forever. Maybe even make him zombie when he die. What you think?"

 

[Lord Sessadore]

Tristan sighs and leans against the wall, dropping his face into his hand.
[sblock=OOC]Trust Tonk to try to reform the god of death [/sblock]

 

[JoeNotCharles]

The halfling's muffled voice rises to a squeak. "Make him SZOMBIE! HERESZY!" You hear the sound of a paper bag inflating and deflating. Finally he continues, firmly. "Vhat ve are making people THSZINK iz that zey cannot cheat ze God of Death! Iz not about MONEY - filthzy sztuff. Iz about JUSZTICE. He vas raiszed from ze dead, he refuszes to pay, so he muszt be returned to ze dead. Szimple.

Now I am going to bed. If he hasz any more qvestionsz, one of you exzplain it!"

You hear a thump and a scraping noise, and recall that you didn't see a bed in the office. Perhaps he's curled up under the desk.