CERAMIC D.M. Final Judgements In- New Champion!
- Thread starter alsih2o
- Start date
arwink
Clockwork Golem
Yep, sorry. The words "Chaotic" and "Mind-bending exhaustion" and "Oh my god, I almost forgot I was gaming yesterday which threw my schedual off completely" are very apt to any excuses I may offer. The return to teaching took a lot more out of me than I thought after three months off.
I appologise to everyone that I'm not going to be able to get this done today either. Some friends are taking me out for my Birthday soon, but I have the ever faithful six hour gap between classes at Uni again tomorrow, so I guarentee results will have started filtering in to Clay by this time tomorrow. I could send results now (because I know which stories I'll pick) but it'll take me a while to get together the commentary.
Again, very very sorry.
I appologise to everyone that I'm not going to be able to get this done today either. Some friends are taking me out for my Birthday soon, but I have the ever faithful six hour gap between classes at Uni again tomorrow, so I guarentee results will have started filtering in to Clay by this time tomorrow. I could send results now (because I know which stories I'll pick) but it'll take me a while to get together the commentary.
Again, very very sorry.
alsih2o
First Post
sniktch vs. nitessine, judgement-
alsih2o
nitessine- odd, and groovy story. it is a round of big weirdness. i really like the way the statue pic was handled, and both competitors really made me proud of them in their use of the stilts pic. while these stand out as the strongest point for illustration handling, i found the story to be 2 parts i enjoyed, hinged together a bit loosely.
sniktch- putting the child so near the center of the story was a gutsy move.i found the homonculus treatment of the statue pic to not be the strongest, but of the stilt pic strength in both of them, i find sniktches to be the stronger.
i have to give sniktch my vote by a slim margin.
maldur
Sniktch vs NiTessine
Sniktch
Another episode in the action hero satyr's story
Go Khorr!!
NiTessine
Introspective (hope I spelled that right), very athmospheric.
Round goes to NiTessine for a more onorthodox story, may he rest in peace.
arwink
Sniktch
After the rollicking combat of his first instalment, it was nice to have this
well paced piece that offers a bit more background to the adventures of
Sniktch's hero. There are some nice mythical overtones here that could perhaps
be brought further into the fore - retelling Khorr's tale as though it were a
folk legend could lend it a nice touch and bring in a resonance with the
traditionally folksy focus of most tales revolving around fey have in modern
renditions. Although I was impressed with the use of the stilts, I'm not
entirely sure it fit in with the rest of the story - it's the only picture
element that felt truly "tacked on" and out of place. The exposition here is
perhaps a little over-done, at times relying on telling us background a little
more than showing us. Particularly in the scene were Grundy is sent to train
the fiend-child, where the lingering implications of "I am here to teach you"
are immediately dashed by explaining what exactly the golem does. Leaving it
hanging could well lend a greater impact the atrocities that occur at the
village later.
NiTessine
NiTessine paints an interesting picture of a man who has lived an interesting
life, but there's no real sense of narrative present. Although interesting and
well told, the story doesn't ever really go anywhere or do anything. I was
waiting for some sign of internal conflict that needed to be resolved before
death, even something as simple as lingering guilt or doubt about his
reactions, but Vinnezen is - in his current state - dull. While the elements
of his past show signs of a good story, in the stories present he doesn't want
or need anything, and as such he doesn't leap off the page or grab the reader.
Great picture use, good voice and well told, but in need of something more.
NiTessine and Sniktch have both presented good pieces, but in the end its that
lack of forward momentum that gives Sniktch's the edge. Although my instant
reaction to NiTessine is to steal all the cool cultural elements for a future
game, it doesn't really do anything for me as a story. This round goes to
Sniktch
looks like sniktch snuck this one by.
alsih2o
nitessine- odd, and groovy story. it is a round of big weirdness. i really like the way the statue pic was handled, and both competitors really made me proud of them in their use of the stilts pic. while these stand out as the strongest point for illustration handling, i found the story to be 2 parts i enjoyed, hinged together a bit loosely.
sniktch- putting the child so near the center of the story was a gutsy move.i found the homonculus treatment of the statue pic to not be the strongest, but of the stilt pic strength in both of them, i find sniktches to be the stronger.
i have to give sniktch my vote by a slim margin.
maldur
Sniktch vs NiTessine
Sniktch
Another episode in the action hero satyr's story
Go Khorr!!NiTessine
Introspective (hope I spelled that right), very athmospheric.
Round goes to NiTessine for a more onorthodox story, may he rest in peace.
arwink
Sniktch
After the rollicking combat of his first instalment, it was nice to have this
well paced piece that offers a bit more background to the adventures of
Sniktch's hero. There are some nice mythical overtones here that could perhaps
be brought further into the fore - retelling Khorr's tale as though it were a
folk legend could lend it a nice touch and bring in a resonance with the
traditionally folksy focus of most tales revolving around fey have in modern
renditions. Although I was impressed with the use of the stilts, I'm not
entirely sure it fit in with the rest of the story - it's the only picture
element that felt truly "tacked on" and out of place. The exposition here is
perhaps a little over-done, at times relying on telling us background a little
more than showing us. Particularly in the scene were Grundy is sent to train
the fiend-child, where the lingering implications of "I am here to teach you"
are immediately dashed by explaining what exactly the golem does. Leaving it
hanging could well lend a greater impact the atrocities that occur at the
village later.
NiTessine
NiTessine paints an interesting picture of a man who has lived an interesting
life, but there's no real sense of narrative present. Although interesting and
well told, the story doesn't ever really go anywhere or do anything. I was
waiting for some sign of internal conflict that needed to be resolved before
death, even something as simple as lingering guilt or doubt about his
reactions, but Vinnezen is - in his current state - dull. While the elements
of his past show signs of a good story, in the stories present he doesn't want
or need anything, and as such he doesn't leap off the page or grab the reader.
Great picture use, good voice and well told, but in need of something more.
NiTessine and Sniktch have both presented good pieces, but in the end its that
lack of forward momentum that gives Sniktch's the edge. Although my instant
reaction to NiTessine is to steal all the cool cultural elements for a future
game, it doesn't really do anything for me as a story. This round goes to
Sniktch
looks like sniktch snuck this one by.
alsih2o
First Post
barrend nobeard vs speaker, judgement.
alsih2o
barrend nobeard- "i really should have monored on chronomancy" what a line. focus on the details of the statue pic, this story is a bit hard to keep up wiht, and worth all the effort it takes. gotta love someone who takes a literary chance to let the bad guy win. (whistling with no lips...oh, man.)
speaker- takes us on a dreamlike ride. both of these stories had that odd layer of unreality around them. i liked the handling of the imagery, but not as much as barrends.
both writers get odd on us, adn both of them make it work, but i liked the stronger sense of conflict in barrends. i have to give this round to barrend nobeard
maldur
Speaker
Dilemmas with "paladin" like hero and evil lich. Good story, the image of a
slowly sinking hero is very strong.
Barendd Nobeard
Im a bit confused. What actually happened? Sorry but I could not make heads
or tails of that story.
Round goes to Speaker!
arwink
Barendd Nobeard
I had two gut reactions to Barendd's piece - the first is that it's terribly
cool idea that's only really being half-explained, and the second is that the
few minor DnD references (Lichs and meteor swarms) really detract from the
general tone. There's something very interesting going on here, but it's only
really a fragment of a story. A very cool story, to be sure, but I understand
only a little more than I did at the beginning. While I'm all for leaving some
things unexplained, there's no real pay-off for the reader here - this is
almost the introduction to a longer tale, or the ending of one. That being
said, the voice is interesting. The choice of short, punchy sentences that
demonstrate the urgency of the desperate male searcher works well, although
some tidying is needed in parts. All in all, it's great stuff but I wanted to
see more.
Speaker
Speaker lends a slightly philosophical tone to his piece, and touches on the
same mood and style as Barendd does. The basic idea is very cool, and the
style of the piece comes together very well. It's well paced, moving through
the various elements with a reasoned focus, and the questions raised at the
beginning are slowly fleshed out as the story progresses. The actual story
itself touches on some fairly common fantasy fiction themes, but there is a
faint spark of innovation within that gives it some new life.
Choosing between the two is difficult. While Barendd's chaotic whirl of a
story holds great potential, it ultimately doesn't stand up to the reasoned,
well-told rendition that Speaker gives us. It's a tough call to choose, but
ultimately the round goes to Speaker. His story feels more complete and solid
as a reader.
speaker wins by the skin of his teeth.
alsih2o
barrend nobeard- "i really should have monored on chronomancy" what a line. focus on the details of the statue pic, this story is a bit hard to keep up wiht, and worth all the effort it takes. gotta love someone who takes a literary chance to let the bad guy win. (whistling with no lips...oh, man.)
speaker- takes us on a dreamlike ride. both of these stories had that odd layer of unreality around them. i liked the handling of the imagery, but not as much as barrends.
both writers get odd on us, adn both of them make it work, but i liked the stronger sense of conflict in barrends. i have to give this round to barrend nobeard
maldur
Speaker
Dilemmas with "paladin" like hero and evil lich. Good story, the image of a
slowly sinking hero is very strong.
Barendd Nobeard
Im a bit confused. What actually happened? Sorry but I could not make heads
or tails of that story.
Round goes to Speaker!
arwink
Barendd Nobeard
I had two gut reactions to Barendd's piece - the first is that it's terribly
cool idea that's only really being half-explained, and the second is that the
few minor DnD references (Lichs and meteor swarms) really detract from the
general tone. There's something very interesting going on here, but it's only
really a fragment of a story. A very cool story, to be sure, but I understand
only a little more than I did at the beginning. While I'm all for leaving some
things unexplained, there's no real pay-off for the reader here - this is
almost the introduction to a longer tale, or the ending of one. That being
said, the voice is interesting. The choice of short, punchy sentences that
demonstrate the urgency of the desperate male searcher works well, although
some tidying is needed in parts. All in all, it's great stuff but I wanted to
see more.
Speaker
Speaker lends a slightly philosophical tone to his piece, and touches on the
same mood and style as Barendd does. The basic idea is very cool, and the
style of the piece comes together very well. It's well paced, moving through
the various elements with a reasoned focus, and the questions raised at the
beginning are slowly fleshed out as the story progresses. The actual story
itself touches on some fairly common fantasy fiction themes, but there is a
faint spark of innovation within that gives it some new life.
Choosing between the two is difficult. While Barendd's chaotic whirl of a
story holds great potential, it ultimately doesn't stand up to the reasoned,
well-told rendition that Speaker gives us. It's a tough call to choose, but
ultimately the round goes to Speaker. His story feels more complete and solid
as a reader.
speaker wins by the skin of his teeth.
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