Comic Relief

[Bhryn Astairre]

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!"



I'm getting sick of only hearing negative nasty things again, onsite, onboards and on frickin' MSN!

So therefore, Bhryn and Draggy bring you, "Comic Relief."

You all want to moan and complain? We're gonna look on the brightside of things.

a: We'll still HAVE IC rooms.

b: We'll still have each other, if we can all agree to disagree!

So therefore, I submit for your tummy bouncing pleasure, my joke of the day!

"1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
thedriveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do they use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do they use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering."

Now, cheer up!

B xxxxxxx

 

[Dragona Nightsky]

And heeeere's another dose!

Rules of Spotting a Gamer:
By Bhryn, pulled from an old blog entry

1: Note the Vacant expression
2: Mouth slightly open.
3: Drool.
4: One word answers.
5: Coffee gone cold due to gaming frenzy neglect.
6: Strange position, sometimes painful: will induce cramps for long periods of time.
7: They hum along to the game.
8: They already know what the characters are going to say.
9: After a while of solid gaming, they start to smell... after a week or so of solid gaming MAKE them bathe.
10: The lack of need to eat.
11: ^ ...RE fans will quote the film, "need to feed"
12: They ask what day it is...
13: ...In shenmue.
14: All the Japanese they know is gleaned from gaming.
15: They can imitate car/spaceship noises.
16: Knights of the Old Republic MAKES them want to be a Dark Sith... stupid WOMAN!
17: Their lack of sleep, characterised by shadowed eyes.
18: They have no idea about current politics, like, who the prime minister is for instance.
19: Football is best when played in a game where you can make YOUR fave team win... woo!
20: Their bladders are made from adamantine and they can go for weeks without needing the toilet.

Now come on guys...cheer up! Things could definitely be alot worse...

We could have Bhryn for an empress *ducks*

 

[Bhryn Astairre]

Hey... I'd be a great Tyrant.

I mean, Empress! Empress!

 

[Dragona Nightsky]

Suuuure you would

Hey, we should do a "Rules for Spotting an ISRPer" list

*starts one*

Rules for Spotting an ISRPer:

1. There is no Bob, there is only Tylantricus Shadoweye III
2. When asked "A/S/L?" they reply with a three page description and background of their character
3. Note the character sites...every character must have one!
4. Their eyes are crossed from hours staring at a computer screen
5. They never have to take a typing course in school...10 hours a day on a scrolling chat screen ensured that!
6. When asked "What have you been up to lately?" they reply to the effect of "Where have -YOU- been? I was slaying the great wyrm and spending his horde on free drinks for everyone at the tavern!"
7. They readily admit to having more than one identity :shifty:
8. ^---oftentimes two of those identities are either very good aquaintances, related, or the worst of enemies
9. They have acronyms even internet junkies blink at (i.e. DPing...anyone else know that one? You don't count B )
10. They use words to describe their characters that spin Oxford's head in circles.

Add your own

-Draggy

 

[Bhryn Astairre]

Oh moopoo to that.

Hows about...

Rules to being Empress

1: What I say goes.
2: What you say, doesn't.

...I figure that was short and sweet!!!

 

[Dragona Nightsky]

Leave it to the celestial....

Oh come on...my list is more fun

 

[Bhryn Astairre]

Well, depends.

But, I'm Empress, what I say, goes?



If we're gonna be awkward then...

Rules to Waxing your Legs
1) Never let your hairy legs get too hairy, lest your sibling mistakes you for a spider and swats you with the nearest handy newspaper.
2) Use hot wax if possible. By Hot, I don't mean Lava Hot.
3) Settle somewhere comfortable. The edge of the bath does not come under 'comfortable.' Somewhere non-slippy helps too.
4) Bring a stick to bite on. If that fails, bring a boyfriend to bite on.
5) Prepare for the waxing by learning new swear words.
6) Apply wax.
7) Apply wax strip.
8) Remember at this point you should have exfoliated, and wince.
9) Tug gingerly on the end of the strip and wince.
10) Having established that this will hurt like nothing else, even being beaten with a newspaper under mistaken Spider-identity, grip the end of the strip tightly.
11) Pull up and towards you sharply.
12) If you did sit on the edge of the bath, now is the time when you go sailing in, swearing loudly. If not, just swear loudly.
13) Examine the wax strip and make appropriate disgusted noises at the hairs on it.
14) Examine your leg and make appropriate shocked noises at losing four layers of skin.
15) Rinse and repeat.

 

[Dragona Nightsky]

:rofl: Ok, if that doesn't cheer people up, nothing will!

 

[Flick_Drewood]

:help:.......B and Draggy have gone :looloo:

*hides in fear of his lives....errr....personalities anyway*

 

[Bhryn Astairre]

We all go a little bit crazy, now and then...

*twitch*

...Clarice...