Cone of Secrecy

[Nimble Goodbarrel]

I was laughing and chatting with a group of friends the other night (gamers and non-gamers) and one person made a comment about D&D. The gamers went totally silent and we all felt really uncomfortable talking about D&D with non-gamers.

I started thinking about it, and ever since I started my gaming career there has always been this Cone of Secrecy about the game. You never ever brought it up outside of your gaming group lest you be mocked and laughed at. We rarely approached new gamers unless we got the "vibe" from them.

I was wondering if anybody else felt the same way about it? Are you perfectly comfortable bringing it up in every day conversation, or is it something is kept in the closet and not spoken of. It would be great to hear about it.

Thanks.

 

[Nymrohd]

Don't be ashamed of your gaming habits! I talk about D&D all the time with friends even in groups of people where not everyone is a gamer. Sooner or later someone realises that there must be a reason why you bunch are so excited about this D&D and asks what it is all about. And that is easily the main way this hobby expands its player base. The primary and best recruiter to D&D are the players themselves. Sure the FLGS helps (I am not so sure ads help that much though . . .) but it is us players who can recruit people to D&D and PnP RPGs in general with the greatest success.

 

[Akaiku]

Talking about DnD to non-gamers is similar to talking about networking to non-computer people. It's all Greek.

I don't hang out around people who wouldn't have decided to play pnp rpgs already if they were interested.

Although, as a different kind of thing.... I can NOT play DnD in front of said non-gamers. Talk about it? Rant manically about it? Sure. Stab some orc with my knitting needle whilst I'm a pointy-ear? Not going to happen.

 

[kitsune9]

I was laughing and chatting with a group of friends the other night (gamers and non-gamers) and one person made a comment about D&D. The gamers went totally silent and we all felt really uncomfortable talking about D&D with non-gamers.

I started thinking about it, and ever since I started my gaming career there has always been this Cone of Secrecy about the game. You never ever brought it up outside of your gaming group lest you be mocked and laughed at. We rarely approached new gamers unless we got the "vibe" from them.

I was wondering if anybody else felt the same way about it? Are you perfectly comfortable bringing it up in every day conversation, or is it something is kept in the closet and not spoken of. It would be great to hear about it.

Thanks.

I've never been one to go out and "prosetylize the faith" so you could say that I've always been a "closet player". Whenever I talk to a non-gamer friend or colleague about what I did for the weekend that involved a gameday, I usually say I went out and hung with some nerd friends and that's it. If they think that's going to a ball game and having beer or just playing video games, it doesn't matter to me. I let my non-gamer friends fill in the blanks as to what they think I'm talking about.

 

[S'mon]

I'll talk about it. Heck, I even mentioned D&D to my students in class!

 

[UngainlyTitan]

I have no priblem talking to non gamers about gaming but I have a friend who is known to launch in to a discussion of a recent game session, complete with graphic description of blood, death and random mayhem in the presence of non gamers. With no preamble or context setting. There I have felt the need to explain, this was just a game and not a real recent event. Because we were getting some nervous looks.

 

[the Jester]

Perfectly comfortable. Heck, I use my gaming powerz to pick up chicks. Successfully.

 

[Rechan]

Me and my mother have a running joke. Because once she asked, "So how do you win?" and I replied, "You don't really 'win'." So now, any time I come home from gaming, she'll ask me "So, did you win?" to see what my response is.

I don't talk about it in detail (as Akaiku says, it's all Greek), but I'll proudly admit I play RPGs. To non-gamers, they just go, "Oh," nod their head, and the non-gaming convo continues. I figure that, they all ready think I'm a dork, tabletop gaming can't really make them think less of me.

Besides, the way I look at it, the Internet is mainstream. World of Warcraft is pretty much in the mainstream, at least acknowledged as such, and tabletop RPGs are just one further step down the Path of the Geek, that they're not viewed as social freakishness.

I do feel self-conscious talking about gaming to other gamers in front of non-gamers. And playing? That's one big source of neurotic right there.

Now, there are other things that I'm a part of that I treat with the Cone of Secrecy, believe you me. But, gaming is not one of them.

Perfectly comfortable. Heck, I use my gaming powerz to pick up chicks. Successfully.

You sir are a god among geeks.

Or maybe an exarch.

 

[Piratecat]

One of my friends is more comfortable talking about being gay than being a gamer.

Me? I never used to discuss gaming at work, although that changed when I started to write and entered the computer game industry. My general rule of thumb in mixed gamer/non-gamer groups is "don't bore anybody." I'd be bored if a bunch of fly-fishermen started talking in great detail about their lures, so I try not to do that to my non-gamer friends as well.

 

[Orius]

I guess it depends on where you are.

I'm more open about it online where I'm generally doing stuff that isn't far off from gaming. So there's less stigma. Plus there's the whole anonymity.

In a more real-life situation? I tend to clam up. Maybe it's because most of my "peers" can be real hicks or something like that at times, and I have little in common with them.