Courtesy in Restaurants

[amethal]

Since the thread on dealing with disruptive kids was so popular, I thought I'd try and find out what people think of this one.

Recently, my wife and I were dining out with some friends of ours in a restaurant. My wife's phone rang, and she answered it. She then had a conversation, in a normal voice, with the person on the other end. It made no difference to the noise level, given that she'd previously been having a conversation at the same volume with the three of us who were there.

Personally, had it been my phone I would have stepped outside to answer it. Do you think she was rude not to?

There were only two other customers. The topic of their conversation turned to how rude my wife was by answering her phone. They kept to that topic for several minutes. As we were sitting five feet away in an otherwise empty restaurant, I could hear it quite clearly, but they did not approach us to complain.

If you do think it is rude to make a phone call in a restaurant, do you think it is a worse offense to discuss other dinners, in their earshot, in a disparaging manner?

(I do, but since it was my wife they were criticising I am clearly biased )

 

[buzzard]

While I generally find cell phones irritating (including my own), they have become so ubiquitous, that I don't see the point in becoming bothered by their use by other people. I'd have to say the other people at the restaurant were being hypersensitive. It's not like it was a movie theatre or something. Conversations are expected in restaurants.

You obviously should have grabbed a spoon and laid the smack down upon them for dissin you. Or maybe not.

buzzard

 

[sniffles]

I do think it was inconsiderate of your wife to answer her phone at the table. I was always taught that you don't interrupt meals with phone calls. Had I been in her shoes, I would have looked to see who was calling, and if it was not urgent I would return the call later. It's rude to her dinner companions to talk with someone else on the phone while they are present.

The other diners talking about it was also rude. That's passive-aggressive. If they were annoyed they should have politely asked your wife if she could save her phone chatting for another time. That said, I know my fiancee would probably have been one of the rude diners complaining loudly if we'd been there.

 

[Zander]

My verdict...

Your wife was a tiny bit rude but mostly to you and your guests. :\

The diners at the other table were very rude. They shouldn't have said anything at all about it.

You were very polite by not making a fuss about it in the restaurant either to your wife or to the other diners.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I usually do not answer my cell phone while at a restaurant, but it depends largely on who I'm eatting with. If I'm out with my husband and the phone rings - I'll answer it. If I'm out with a close group of friends - I might answer it depending on who is calling. If I'm out with co-workers - I won't answer it. So - it really comes down to the comfort-level of the people I'm dining with.

The people that were nagging were definately being rude, though.

 

[amethal]

You were very polite by not making a fuss about it in the restaurant either to your wife or to the other diners.

Hey, I am British!

 

[Jdvn1]

Recently, my wife and I were dining out with some friends of ours in a restaurant. My wife's phone rang, and she answered it. She then had a conversation, in a normal voice, with the person on the other end. It made no difference to the noise level, given that she'd previously been having a conversation at the same volume with the three of us who were there.

Personally, had it been my phone I would have stepped outside to answer it. Do you think she was rude not to?

Whether or not there were other customers makes little difference. She was rude because there were other people at the table. When you're at the dinner table, the conversation should be with the people at the table. If you need to make or take a phone call, step away from the table. If there are no other people at the table, then it doesn't make much of a difference. Maybe I've spend too much time reading ettiquete books, though.

If you do think it is rude to make a phone call in a restaurant, do you think it is a worse offense to discuss other dinners, in their earshot, in a disparaging manner?

Oh, certainly so. It's pretty tactless to talk about other people that way, especially if they can hear you. If I were feeling confrontational, I'd have gone up to them, "I'm sorry, if you have a problem with me or my actions, please address them to me. I didn't mean to be rude, but talking about me that way is ruder still. Thank you. Good-bye."

That might have been rude too, though. I keep my phone on silent (or at least on vibrate) when I go to eat, be it at a restaurant or not. I also don't answer it unless I know it's important.

 

[Jdvn1]

You were very polite by not making a fuss about it in the restaurant either to your wife or to the other diners.

Oh, good point.

 

[DaveMage]

I think your wife should have excused herself from the table if she needed to take the call. It's hard to have a conversation with those around you when someone right next to you is completely involved - even at a "normal" volume level - in another conversation.


The worst cell phone rudeness I've encountered was when I was on the phone with an office coworker, who paused our conversation to answer her cell phone. She proceeded to HAVE AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION on the cell phone with me on "hold" and able to hear the whole thing.

 

[devilbat]

Rude on both counts, but at very different levels.

I live on my cell phone. I put many, many hours it, as it is essential to the business I am in. I always leave the table to carry on a conversation, just to be courteous to those around me. I find that it's a little rude to carry on a cell phone conversation while sitting at a table with others.

Now talking about specific other diners, out loud for everyone to hear, is terribly rude. If it was my wife they were talking about, I would not only confronted them, but the words "shut your b**** mouth" would have probably been used.

That would have been rude though.