Not KotS
Session #006c: Big Fat Ron’s Deal
The Inspectors.
Chromium Malifax aka C-Fax (Rob), Male Silver Dragonborn (Noble) Paladin of Bahamut Level 1
Mavis Golightly aka Mave (Sandy), Female Half-Elf (Acolyte) Cleric of Chauntea Level 1
Arbuthnot McGow aka McGow (Al), Male Mountain Dwarf (Soldier) Fighter Level 1
Snakebite (Kenji), Female Half-Orc (Outlander) Monk Level 1
Travis Pickle (Yui), Male Lightfoot Halfling (Criminal) Rogue Level 1
Dead PCs
The Inspector aka Spek (Kenji), Male Rock Gnome (Charlatan) Sorcerer Level 1- Killed in Session #2 by Eggnog the Kobold Dragon Priest.
To-do list/Quests-
#001 Save Dicky Bird aka The Fat Pidgin, and bring him home safely to Edna Gingster, keep in mind Dicky could be travelling incognito. Reward: 2000 XP & 1000gp each.
#004 Stop Orcus-worshipping Karl’s ritual to bring an undead army to Kirkgate. Basically, save the village, begs (eventually) Lord Crumble. 1000 XP & 250gp reward.
#005 Find/Save Cheggers. That's it really, the PCs just need to find/save Cheggers, for Fionulla. Reward 100 XP.
#006 Find and kill/capture the Bloody Heck- including any leaders. Recover any prisoners they have kidnapped. Find out where Karl is based. Reward: 400 XP & 100gp, with 1gp paid for every member of the Bloody Heck confirmed dead or captured.
Next…
Now, the next bit takes quite a while, Big Fat Ron you see is rather chatty, and he asks questions too, and the PCs- of course- want to make checks, and they’re eager (as always) to tell their story.
So, the DM (Big Fat Ron) attempts to play the PCs a little, because the DM (Big Fat Ron) knows that PCs love to tell their story, and some of them are particularly happy to listen to themselves talk- at great length- at times.
C-Fax and Mavis both fall for this move big time- although everyone is in at the start, all the PCs are keen to impress. Later, it takes McGow to warn them (much too late, about ten to fifteen minutes in) that Big Fat Ron is not really giving them any answers here- in fact it’s 90% just C-Fax and Mavis doing all of the talking, telling their story i.e. everything the Inspectors have seen and done up until this point.
But it’s too late for that- Ron has heard enough, he now knows what he has to offer, and has an inkling of its worth.
In short-
Ron knows where Dicky Bird is.
Ron knows where Cheggers is.
Note Ron had earlier asked for descriptions of these two individuals, from C-Fax and Mavis, which they happily provided- of course.
Furthermore…
Ron knows who the spy in Kirkgate is.
And…
Ron knows someone who knows where Karl is- or else- where Karl was (and very likely still is), or else he knows someone who has met (repeatedly, he believes) with Karl. Ron, after a few more caveats, clarifies- “I finks I kno wur Karl iz.”
Remember, when you do Ron’s voice it’s clever, not dumb. Ron wants to help the PCs, he wants to live, to be free- and he oh so wants not to be poor.
Move on.
This last bit is complicated Ron further explains, and keep in mind his job when he was sent here was to find Karl, so it’s something he’s been working on himself, and he’s a very bright goblin boss is Ron.
He also happily relates that the answer to the above question (the last one) only became clear to him after just talking with C-Fax and Mavis.
Here’s the deal…
Ron will provide answers to all four questions; however he wants his freedom and the chest and all of its contents.
There is arguing.
Ron is feeling rather smug.
As is the DM.
They both try hard not to show it.
The arguing goes on for a good long while, I pretty much left the players/PCs to themselves, and they entertained me royally for about another ten to fifteen minutes more, I barely said anything.
Eventually, it boils down to this.
McGow & Travis- No! We’re not giving money to a goblin! McGow wants to kill the little bastard, Travis doesn’t give a stuff about Ron, he just doesn’t want anyone taking his share of the treasure.
McGow makes it clear (repeatedly, and boy do I mean repeatedly) that C-Fax and Mavis have just been played by Ron.
“Tha sneaky goblin bar-steward, ee’s ad yew over!”
So, that’s two for ‘no deal’, but-
C-Fax and Mavis are good to go with the deal- it’s only money after all.
Travis is apoplectic for a while after this gets said and then oft repeated, mostly by C-Fax just to annoy the rogue, Yui is hamming it up good.
If the pair aren’t adventuring for the money, then what are they adventuring for? Fun? Travis wants to know.
So, two for ‘deal’.
And…
Snakebite sits on the fence, although that’s not entirely true- keep reading. She tries (and then tries again, and again, and...) to explain to McGow and Travis (and anyone else that will listen) the difference between cost and price.
To make clear. The conversation here is very- dense, there’s a lot of chat, a lot of back and forth- the ‘no’ camp and the ‘yes’ camp are generally talking over each other, and so Kenji (playing Snakebite) must keep stopping and starting with his/her marvelous ‘cost vs price’ analogy.
Snakebite therefore takes ten minutes and maybe five attempts to get the following said, in precis-
The price of the answers to their questions is set, it is known- a chest full of money and stuff (a magic wand) and Big Fat Ron’s freedom. That’s the price that must be paid.
The cost of not getting the information they need is… unknown. Not knowing could cost Dicky & Cheggers their lives, and Kirkgate its continued existence. Or it could cost none of these things. That is the cost that must be borne.
And when this still doesn’t quite tip the balance.
The half-orc monk clarifies-
To Travis- finding Dicky and saving Kirkgate will pay handsomely, more than the money in the chest- a lot more.
To McGow, and we’ll do this one in true Snakebite style.
The half-orc saunters over to the fuming dwarf, slaps a meatier hand on McGow’s meaty shoulder, looks down into his eyes, and says- “der will be udder goblins. Dey are… [Snakebite reaches out with her right arm and measures the horizon in one fell (but dramatic) swoop] every-there.”
The best thing about Kenji’s delivery of a good Snakebite-ism is they sound like they should mean something more than they say, but- they mostly really don’t.
McGow changes sides. He didn’t want to, initially, but Al (playing McGow) was laughing like a drain when Kenji/Snakebite did the line. McGow, now he thinks about it- doesn’t give a stuff about Ron- he does however want Dicky back and Kirkgate saved, and money he’s not spent is money he’s never had.
Which just leaves Travis arguing that spending a lot of money just to find out where his uncle Dicky is…
But then even he figures out that he can’t end the above sentence without being thought of as a monster.
Or else- more of a monster.
The rest is haggling.
And a bunch more rolls.
Big Fat Ron eventually settles for half the money (140gp) and his freedom; it took another five plus minutes to get everyone to agree to this.
Just to say the two fights in this session took less time to play out (combined) than the chat with Ron here.
The PCs do the deal- and then other deals, see below.
The Inspectors got played big time.
And so, the questions with the answers this time-
Question #1.
Ron knows where Dicky Bird is, he was sent with the last load of prisoners about five days ago to the Narthex in the Labyrinth, the base of the Bloody Heck. Dicky is most likely still alive and more than likely on his way into the Underdark.
This answer does not go down well- and leads to rather more questions, in short order the PCs must pay another fifty gold coins to get directions to a place called the Seven Pillared Hall. Note, there’s much more to this answer (another ten plus minutes of chitter-chat), but it doesn’t need to be shared right now.
In conclusion Dicky is out of reach, for now- the Inspectors need to solve the Kirkgate problem first- this, eventually, is agreed upon.
Although, it takes another five minutes of semi-bickering to reach this conclusion, of course.
Note, I use the word bickering- it’s not the players that are bickering, it’s their PCs who are chaffing, generally with comic effect.
McGow is getting to be a fractious loudmouth (when called for, he doesn’t do it often)- with a heart of gold, of course; while Travis clearly has no moral compass, or else it’s broken, and he likes to pick a (verbal only, so far) fight.
We go on.
Question #2.
Ron knows where Cheggers is, he was never sent to the Bloody Heck, he therefore must have been sent to Karl, probably to be sacrificed.
Bugger!
More questions follow this answer… but keep reading.
Question #3.
Ron knows who the spy in Kirkgate is, although… he doesn’t know her name- only that she’s a lady elf with a bow who used to be friends with a kobold called Eggnog.
At which point all the PCs (with McGow carrying Ron in a headlock) go running- back up the stairs, through the third- then second- then first levels of the dungeon and up into the ruined tower in Dragon Castle.
Fionulla is nowhere to be found, no matter how loud they shout.
Tybo, the goblin prisoner, is still tied up and shoved in a corner.
The goblin, when ungagged and asked, reveals that Fionulla departed soon after the PCs descended into the dungeon.
Tybo also reveals that another goblin came up the stairs and then walked straight out of the tower maybe thirty minutes ago. That was Spiggot- he played his part in the PCs charade on the lower level and then walked out of their lives… for ever.
Back to the fact that Fionulla has gone, none of the PCs give a stuff about Spiggot.
Mavis calculates that Fionulla, the spy, has over an hour head start on them already.
There is swearing.
And then more swearing when the PCs figure out that they are approx. five hours away from Kirkgate, a journey they’ve only made once before- in the light, and with a guide, and that it’s going to start getting dark soon.
There is an indecent amount of swearing, I learn some new Japanese words that I will most likely never use.
But… (and eventually) one last answer is needed from Ron.
Question #4.
Ron knows someone who knows who/where Karl is- or at least has met him, the goblin boss first explains how he knows.
Ron met with Hagrid, the reprobate cannibal deep gnome, the little fool let slip that he received his orders from Karl (the Master) via a magical mirror. In short Hagrid had never actually met Karl.
Ron met with Eggnog, the kobold- who was acting as a go-between with the spy in Kirkgate (Fionulla) and delivering messages to the Bloody Heck (and the kobolds, of course). Eggnog told Ron that the only person who had ever met Karl is… the spy in Kirkgate. Fionulla.
Note, C-Fax and Mavis told Big Fat Ron at the start of this interrogation about the elven ranger that led them to various places- here, the kobold’s lair, etc.
So, find Fionulla- find Karl.
But, then just to make his point, Ron has this to say-
“Gud goblin boss hav spies in tribe, gobz wot report to ‘im abowt wot is goin on an dat. Dem spies secret, dat ‘ow gud boss stay boss.”
And as the PCs fathom this he adds-
“Elf laydee-ranger iz spy off Karl, in Kirkgait- Yes? Der for Karl mus bee in Kirkgait.”
Karl is in Kirkgate.
The PCs are, at this point, replaying all the stuff that Fionulla said to them along the way- about her spying on the kobolds, spying on the inhabitants of Kirkgate, and…
Well, that was the end of the session.
Oh, and I let slip that the PCs are approaching their first milestone, probs next session- level two at last.
And that was nearly an hour over time, there was a lot of chatting (and swearing) at the end, it was a cracking session.
With a little XP distributed (in 10 XP ticks on my sheet) for various investigations and roleplay- Snakebite 80 XP, McGow 50 XP, Travis 40 XP each, C-Fax & Mavis 20 XP each.
Cheers goonalan and the Tokyo Massive.
