Ovinomancer
No flips for you!
I do not use the skill system. I ask the GM. You have right there, but then pretend it's not there. How do I bribe a guard? I ask the GM how it works. The GM has many ways they can choose to do this, from saying yes, to saying no, to saying that's not even possible right now and denying the action altogether, to engaging the ability systems. Engaging the ability system is just another series of prompts for the GM to make decision ad hoc -- which ability, which proficiency, what's the DC? And, after all of this, it still comes back to the GM to narrate the outcome, which isn't strongly constrained by the rolls -- a GM can decide that the guard might take a large bribe, but then later change their mind and report it.It literally does!
It doesn’t matter that you think it’s okay that it doesn’t, or whatever, you’re wrong about it not doing so.
How do you bribe a guard? You use the skill system, first describing how you approach the task, and depending on that description you either succeed, fail, or make an ability check to determine success or failure, including options for non-binary results. You can also use group checks, multiple checks taken together to determine overall results (this is all a skill challenge actually is. It’s multiple rolls to create a success ladder) and which can be with different stats and skills, or you can even use the framework of downtime activities. The game provides multiple options under a pretty clear (though sometimes poorly organized and explained) framework to resolve any task, rather than trying to make a specific rule for every possible task.
There's nothing in the 5e system that actually provides support for bribing a guard -- it's, at best, a skill system you can maybe use (or not, up to you), but that still leaves the majority of the task resolution up to the GM.
And, I'm saying this is both an intentional design thing AND a good thing. It leverages the GM, who can be quite versatile and good, but who can also be terrible. It's a very table dependent way of encouraging play.
Gosh, how can anyone say I'm ignoring this, when my point is even stronger -- D&D never bothers to get in the way because it doesn't even provide support that needs to move out of the way!The point you either keep missing or keep ignoring is the second part of the statement. The statement is, “D&D provides a framework for adjudicating tasks, and then gets out of the way to let consequences speak for themselves, or allow the DM to employ optional or homebrewed rules if desired.”
No, it isn't a lack, it's an intentional design choice -- to make the GM the one that decides how things work. There's no support from the system, because the entire system is to make the GM decide. This is the actual strength you're reaching for when you claim you can do whatever in 5e. The odd thing is that you also insist that the system supports doing anything with it's rules, when it's the very lack of those that allows what you claim to want! Such a strange argument!That is not a lack, or an oversight, or a failure to model anything, it is an active decision to leave room rather than making everything under the sun require the group to reference the rules. Having the tools to figure out how to adjudicate and balance whatever you want to add to the game makes it easier to add things to the game. Not by accident or incidentally, but by design. It is a feature.