D&D has threatened my job!

[Vraille Darkfang]

d20 fool,

I live in Columbia. but did my internship at KBRPC (I hate route-13) in Clinton & went to High School in Warrensburg & later to college at CMSU. Having lived for over 10 years (age 15-27) in your region (and having many friends who have lived their ENTIRE life in small town MO (smaller than Clinton even) I have this to say.

ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!

You're lucky. I grew up around small town education boards. You tick off the wrong parent & you are gone. If you are local (lived there most your life) you might be OK as you are considered a member of the community, not some stranger bringing weird ideas (like D&D, tolerance, NOT drinking beer while hunting deer). That last one is very, very real people. I know at least three farmers that paint "COW" on their cattle every year during deer season. They still lose a few every now & again. I'm NOT kidding.

Back to topic. I've not lived in Clinton but commuted there for over a year & knew a lot of people at CMSU from Clinton. D&D is still on the level of sacrificing house pets to Satan for some people around there. I don't want to stereotype them as inbred, intolerant, ignorant hicks. They aren't inbred, most aren't intolerant, and many are not ignorant. But some are.

I've BEEN a student in the situation you are describing. Don't throw your career away. I KNOW Clinton. It is more open minded than many small towns in MO, but that isn't saying a lot.

Now my advice. Not as a lawyer. Not as a Teacher. Not as a Roleplayer. But as someone who grew up in the Clinton-Warrensburg Area & my view as a teenager there.

I would have loved to know about D&D & roleplaying in general. (I never learned about it until my freshman year at Rolla). There were many things I never learned about in Warrensburg High School (anime, philosophy, art, etc). Prevailing religious & political views limited my development as a human being, but also made me the person I am today. Don't let everyone else prevent my growth. But, don't risk your own neck so I know what a d20 is.

There's my view.

Here's the real advice (from somebody who KNOWS the town).

1. Playing in a Public place. In Clinton MO. I think I know every public place in Clinton & I doubt any of them would take politely to a D&D game. (you'd get an old lady calling the cop. OK, they do have more than one). You might find someplace downtown that wouldn't mind. Some kind of new-age shop, but I don't remember any. Don't play in public in Clinton.

2. Permission slips. I know about teenage rebellion in small town MO. You know about it too. You know the high school kids in your game, you know how they feel about their parents. You know how the mother & her son react to each other. From what you said, I doubt permission slips really are what you need. A family counsellor is more likely to make headway.

3. Kids got to fly on their own. All the high school kids need to form a group of their own and play at one of their parents' houses. Let them & their parents compromise amongst themselves. If they want to role-play they can do it by themselves, play videogames, read novels, or even play by e-mail. Or they can wait till they go to CMSU & find all the gamers & student lounges they want.

4. If you need more players, try to find them at CMSU. Used to be an official RPG club on campus till it got disbanded (long story, but it involves trying to put on a Con on campus & money). Big mess, but as far as I know there no longer is one source for finding players at CMSU. But they are there. I know several that are still there. The drive from Clinton to Warrensburg isn't too bad. You could easily make a Sat or Sun game at CMSU. You might even find players willing to drive down to Clinton.

There, advice from someone who's been there (by there I mean Clinton MO).
Vraille Darkfang
Yes, CMSU has a giant red ass as its mascot.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Mythusmage, if you've ever lived in a small town, you would understand just how conservative those places can be.

I no longer live in a small town, but when I did, I was thought (by some) to be a satanist because of my RPG hobby. As a student, I couldn't get fired. Since the gaming wasn't illegal and wasn't on campus, I couldn't get expelled.

D20fool is a TEACHER, and serves only at the whims of those B&Bs. If he were in the same situation in a larger town, my advice would be different. Finding alternate employment would be easier. His wife's job wouldn't be in jeopardy. Besides which, the voices of just a couple of people would not carry as much weight. Heck, he might even find a principle willing to have an RPG club on his school campus in a larger city- after all, I managed to have one at a Catholic private school in Dallas.

But in a small town, once you're ostracised, you might as well move away if you can.

By asking him to stand up to the B&B for D&D in a small town, you're asking D20fool to be the equivalent of the next black man to move to Vidor, Texas. His job could dissapear, along with his wife's. He probably wouldn't get killed, but he could get assaulted or his property vandalized.

I'm not about to suggest THAT possible fate over a game.

Freedom is worth fighting for, and bigotry and ignorance are worth fighting. However, a wise warrior knows when he's outnumbered or outgunned, and chooses his battles accordingly.

 

[Host of Angels]

It would seem that you have taken a sage course of action. I find the tales of small town life chilling - but dropping the kids seems wise. However, I take heart that you have the courage of your conviction (and principles) to try and set up a games group that the kids can participate in. I hope it works out.

On another note - why not keep their characters lurking in the wings as NPCs until the kids come of age...

Good luck

 

[WizarDru]

Irrelevant. It's the principle that matters, and a man that will not stand on principle isn't a man at all. Nothing else in life matters than to stand for principle.

I don't think principles were being called into question, merely your perspectives about child-rearing. Personally, I consider my children's lives to matter more than pure academic principle, but that's a decision each person has to make on their own.

d20fool, I think you're taking the correct approach.

 

[mmu1]

Irrelevant. It's the principle that matters, and a man that will not stand on principle isn't a man at all. Nothing else in life matters than to stand for principle.

One of the principles I stand by is not letting idiots on the internet guide my actions.

 

[Pielorinho]

An interesting story, and I'm glad things are working out. I will remind folks that, especially on hot-button issues like this, it's imperative to avoid calling other people names because they feel differently than you do about the issue.

Personally, in this case, while principles are important, I think it's the principal that matters.

Daniel

 

[billd91]

Thank you for your advice. I don't think I would have considered it soon at all without it. Yes, it punishes a couple of players, one regular player and an infrequent player (whose parents I did talk to and played D&D at one time themselves). The mom of the regular player said "They hardly have to be lured" and was quite supportive. Her son is best friends with the kid whose mom is the problem. If I know my locals, mom number one has given mom number two an earful.

Now this is especially sad. Because of worries about one busybody, you have to cut out two kids whose parents know what you're doing and actively approve of it. I'd still try to keep these kids in the game somehow, even if that means getting our of your mother's poker room and into a public locale. Playing at the local student union was one place teens without a lot of gaming classmates could rub elbows with more experienced adult players and learn a whole heck of a lot.

 

[LiKral]

Those two kids that lost out can still set up their own game with their friends. That will introduce more people to the hobby and possibly give them more satisfaction than simply being players.

 

[Kanegrundar]

I went to college at CMSU in Warrensburg for 3.5 years, my little sister is there now, and I still spend a lot of time there. It does have much of the small town mentalities, but thanks to the university, it isn't nearly as bad as other small towns (of which I've lived most of my life). That said, I do find it surprising that such attitude was taken. Granted, I'm sure the mother was thinking more about her son spending so much time with an older man rather than the gaming aspect.

All in all, I think D20fool is taking the right course of action here. I game with my old High School science teacher. While we would discuss games and comics before and after class, he never invited me over until I had graduated. Sure, there were a few people that found it wierd, but nothing ever came of it. (My home town has only 290 people in it...a LOT smaller than Warrensburg.) Wait until the kids are out of their parents' homes and then invite them to game when they are back on college break or something. Heck, you could even start a PBEM game with them when they're at school.

As for all the small-town bashing, it sounds like the exact reverse of small town folk bashing those from large cities. Most of it is either blown out of proportion or is formed from little to no actual knowledge of such places. Sure, small towns can be very conservative and closed off, but not all of them are that way, and certainly not all the people are that way either. I moved back to my small town (the Marshall, Malta Bend area about an hour northeast of Warrensburg) after college. I still game, listen to music other than country, and watch gross amounts of sci-fi. I openly discuss such things to those that ask or show and interest. Sure, I've met a couple people that don't like my interests, but I've never once been blackballed for it. I guess I'm lucky in that regard. I'm also not in a position that can get me fired by scaring the wrong person either. I just wanted those that are getting a misrepresented view of small town mentalities to see the other side of the story.

Oh yeah, the big RPG group that was around at CMSU is still dead, but there are several smaller groups around. Gaming is very much alive in Warrensburg.

Adios,
Kane

 

[Serps]

Oh, and thank you d20fool for this topic. It has been quite enlightening, especially for someone who doesn't live in the USA. I was raised in a small town, but evidently not as conservative as the one in which you are living.