I'd have a lot more sympathy for you if this character was being a passenger, refusing to take risks, etc.; but she's not - she's in there givin' 'er in the way that best works for her, and being entertaining at the same time. Love it!
Then in character, wouldn't the party eventually decide to go back to town and hire a more conventional wizard to do all the wizardly stuff, and let this guy carry on doing what he's doing? (in other words, pick up a 5th character - an adventuring NPC wizard)
I think [MENTION=6803664]ccs[/MENTION] hits the nail on the head here: it's possible the player is intentionally going against min-maxing (and maybe going a bit over-the-top about it, to make a point) in hopes others will follow suit. As for the in-character rudeness part, what is this thing's Cha score and other socially-related numbers? If they're poor, then all you've got is someone playing his character in character*. If they're good, you've perhaps got more of a problem.
That said, realistically this character probably has the life expectancy of a fruit fly; and the player is (I hope!) well aware of this. If so, and he still wants to play her till she drops, then have at it!
* - there was a character like this in my current campaign: he played his Cha 6 as social ineptness thus he couldn't say two sentences to anyone without completely offending whoever he was speaking to...yet he insisted on being the party "face" at every opportunity. He was a reasonably competent Thief otherwise, but sometimes I think the party kept him around mostly to do the rest of the world a favour.
Lan-"sometimes the most valuable character in a party isn't the one who's always saving asses, it's the one that keeps players showing up week after week just to see what it'll do next"-efan