D&D 5E dealing with PCs when players leave a game.

[Celtavian]

The woman sounds crazy, like for real crazy. I wouldn't spend much time trying to figure out or please a crazy person or you'll be drawn into their world. Just be glad the aren't showing up any longer and you don't have to deal with the drama.

 

[Elf Witch]

My group is a bunch of heavy duty role players and because of that they hate hand waving away thing like this. So I needed to deal with a reason the PCs had left and since they were all trapped in a keep that was under siege by a dragon and cultist I really had a hard time coming up with a reason. Plus I worked out hooks to join the characters together and there was a major hook between this PC and another one who is still playing.

I really didn't want to run the PC as an NPC so I thought make her a spirit trapped in an amulet who over time I can allow to communicate with the PC still in the game.

Over the years I have dealt with this kind of situation by killing off PCs, having them leave, becoming an NPC who makes occasional appearances. It all depends on what makes the most sense at time.

I understand players getting attached to their characters I think that is good and can add to the the role playing but I think this is going to far. Come on getting nuts over a character you played once. I shudder to think what would happen if her PC had died in the game with her playing her.

I guess my attitude is the PC belongs to the player as long as they are in the game once they leave the DM can utilize the PC as they think is best for the game.

 

[billd91]

I guess my attitude is the PC belongs to the player as long as they are in the game once they leave the DM can utilize the PC as they think is best for the game.

I suspect that's the way most normal people approach the situation. The one main exception is for relatively loose campaigns in which a player may be gone a while and come back - then it's best to let the PC fade to background on the assumption the player is coming back. But that doesn't sound like that's your current campaign assumption, nor do I think you should want this player back. She doesn't sound like a positive addition to a game.

 

[Jester David]

:So Nahzinga was murdered instead of just vanishing into the night. To my non-gamer friends this means I pissed the GM off so badly we'll make sure you never play her again, ever. The truth: I only played once then due to every day mundane stuff like illness and moving and finances and all, we didn't play in the game for months. The GM asked if we were still interested in playing. I was bit overwhelmed because the group was so large, had lots of little packets of money to be earned by apparently double crossing people. And it was loud and set my anxiety off. My story has never wavered.
As far as Nahzinga goes you can say she has been murdered (did that make you feel good? ?) But she was saved at the last minute by summoning a healer with a tiny amulet no one knew she had.
Don't worry about her coming back because she thought the group fought with out discipline and with too much chaos.
As for what you think of me personally I see that writing on the wall but im no longer afraid to jump off the wall with amulet.
This is why I GAFIATED from gaming the first time. I don't need the thing that was helping me heal turn vicious on me. I hope the few people who know what they've done.:

My players can't stand that they want an explanation and they were all trapped in a keep besieged by a dragon. So I came up with a way to further the game and explain the disappearance. I will admit I think I dodged a bullet with this. I really don't like playing with players who act like this over a game. It seems extreme to me to act this way over a character you played once.

She sent a rambling email demanding I take any mention of her character out of my game that I am stealing her character and infringing on copy write an plagiarism.

Better to play it safe and polite. You never know what other people are going through, what's running through their mind, or what the game is touching on. Gaming can do interesting things to people, as so much of it is in the mind. We bring a lot of ourselves to the table.
A character being murdered, fridged really, is a big trigger for a lot of people. People can put a lot of themselves into a character, and if they're just killed by the GM it can feel super personal.

In this situation, a polite, honest, and apologetic email is required. An "I'm sorry I upset you. Thank you for clarifying why you had to leave. I regret what I did to your character, but honestly did so because I liked the character and wanted to keep them in the game without having an extra physical character in play. If you want me to refrain from using that character in the future, I will do so, etc, etc, etc."

Really, there's no reason to make the situation worse or pick a fight when a little courtesy will do. And it's good to present a positive face of gaming. Own your decisions. But don't justify too much. You're not on trial and getting defensive is a bad idea.


As for the topic in general, I prefer to just have characters wander off into the sunset or "die" in mysterious circumstances. The classic comic book death where there's no body and they can totally come back if needed. Or they get busy with personal business and called away. Even if it means having the character being an NPC for a few sessions or part of a game until it makes narrative sense.
Yeah, it can be odd and is a little funky from an immersion perspective. But it cannot always be helped as it's the result of factors beyond the game. That's just a reality of gaming with people.

 

[Elf Witch]

I suspect that's the way most normal people approach the situation. The one main exception is for relatively loose campaigns in which a player may be gone a while and come back - then it's best to let the PC fade to background on the assumption the player is coming back. But that doesn't sound like that's your current campaign assumption, nor do I think you should want this player back. She doesn't sound like a positive addition to a game.

No I don't not after all this craziness. I am to old for this crap. I don't know what it is about our hobby that attracts, how do I put this, unstable people? I have cried over my character dying. I have gotten a little pissed at a DM who I thought treated my character unfairly. But at the end of the day I know it is just a game.

Several years ago two of my best friends and gaming buddies moved away. I needed to deal with their characters in game they were both to important to just hand wave away. I asked them what do you want me to do and they both said what ever you think will make the game most interesting. So I had the one character betray and kill the other and thus became one of my BBEG. Their reaction when I told them was funny. They were married the husband says to his wife " I always knew you would be the death of me" her reaction was cool I get to be evil with a capital E. She often asked me what evil things she was up to even giving me suggestions.

I have a player have to drop out for awhile and I sent the PC off doing something else when the player came back had him level his character and we came up with what he had been doing. But I knew he was coming back.

I once changed characters in game and the DM took my old PC and made her evil and my new character was the one that ended up killing her months later.

 

[Li Shenron]

She sent a rambling email demanding I take any mention of her character out of my game that I am stealing her character and infringing on copy write an plagiarism.

Really? This doesn't sound like a sensible behaviour from a normal person. I don't know this woman so I can't certainly throw judgements here, but it does sound like she might have some issues. It's just a freakin' game! It's insane to take a game to this level of importance. Even just the public whining on social networks says she is taking the game way too personally... I wonder what she honestly believes that her friends on Facebook think about this behaviour. Copyright and plagiarism? Because she invented one character in a game that has millions of other characters?

 

[Elf Witch]

Better to play it safe and polite. You never know what other people are going through, what's running through their mind, or what the game is touching on. Gaming can do interesting things to people, as so much of it is in the mind. We bring a lot of ourselves to the table.
A character being murdered, fridged really, is a big trigger for a lot of people. People can put a lot of themselves into a character, and if they're just killed by the GM it can feel super personal.

In this situation, a polite, honest, and apologetic email is required. An "I'm sorry I upset you. Thank you for clarifying why you had to leave. I regret what I did to your character, but honestly did so because I liked the character and wanted to keep them in the game without having an extra physical character in play. If you want me to refrain from using that character in the future, I will do so, etc, etc, etc."

Really, there's no reason to make the situation worse or pick a fight when a little courtesy will do. And it's good to present a positive face of gaming. Own your decisions. But don't justify too much. You're not on trial and getting defensive is a bad idea.


As for the topic in general, I prefer to just have characters wander off into the sunset or "die" in mysterious circumstances. The classic comic book death where there's no body and they can totally come back if needed. Or they get busy with personal business and called away. Even if it means having the character being an NPC for a few sessions or part of a game until it makes narrative sense.
Yeah, it can be odd and is a little funky from an immersion perspective. But it cannot always be helped as it's the result of factors beyond the game. That's just a reality of gaming with people.

I know she has issues I am friends with her outside of the game. It is why I said yes against my better judgment when her Ex asked if she could join. I was worried about a big group and everyone having enough face time with me and enough role playing.But I had hoped it would cheer her up and get her out of her and about with some really nice people.

I bent over backwards for her I have never DMed 5E I had asked for everyone to make standard characters out of the players handbook she didn't see one she wanted so her Ex and I made her a special witch style character.

When she quit my game I was understanding even if I was little irked. I am the not the one who told her what happened in the game. Her ex had asked me how things went so I told him and he thought she would find it cool that her character was destined to become a major artifact in the world while his an their daughter PCs had just disappeared. He didn't expect this or her posting this all over her Facebook page and mine and then blocking me from talking to her by private message, blocking my number on her cell and deleting any email I tried to send.

At this point my patience is at an end. I will not apologize any further. I have already told her I was sorry that I didn't do it to upset her.

 

[Azurewraith]

The bit that really gets me is the copyright infringement part. I mean i would totally check just in case she did copyright her character (im not even sure that's possible tbh)

 

[Elf Witch]

I tend to deal with PCs where the players have left as just not there anymore, keep moving on. It's kind of how I fit other players into the game, our next gaming session is going to have an extra player join while the current players are in the middle of a dungeon. Where did he come from? What do you mean, he was always there.

Also, what does GAFIATED mean?

The term is used in old school literary fandom and in Trek fandom when a person leaves fandom.

 

[Elf Witch]

Really? This doesn't sound like a sensible behaviour from a normal person. I don't know this woman so I can't certainly throw judgements here, but it does sound like she might have some issues. It's just a freakin' game! It's insane to take a game to this level of importance. Even just the public whining on social networks says she is taking the game way too personally... I wonder what she honestly believes that her friends on Facebook think about this behaviour. Copyright and plagiarism? Because she invented one character in a game that has millions of other characters?

We have a lot of friends in common we have been involved in various fandoms for years. The non gamers are totally at a loss over this and I have gotten so many private messages and phone calls asking what the frak is going on. They can't understand this kind of behavior from a fifty + woman over a game. My gaming friends including those in this game are blown away over the behavior no one understands the over reaction especially as she has now in the last hour deleted all her social media.