It's uncool to use the term in a derogatory manner and is obtuse as well.you're being deliberately obtuse
It is a disrespectful tone with the way it is used in the modern gamer usage.
So the true purpose to to find a way to be respectful.
Or to simply stop using it altogether. Because using the term only fosters edition wars and with edition wars comes the disrespect of other people who simply like different games.
Being gamers, we're still not very socially acceptable. In fact, at least in my area, when the word gamer is used it is also very disrespectful because in conjures up the image of the people in the Southpark episode that dealt with WoW.
So, we should understand what that's like and instead of embracing the idiocy of "being right is serious business" we should be more tolerant of each other who just like to play different games and in different styles.
And stop using stupid terms like grognard.
And this kind of thing works both ways.