DISCUSSION: Have you ever had to boot somebody from a game?

[MNblockhead]

Fortunately I run my game on-line using roll20 and Google Hangouts. If I have a truly problematic player I simply neglect to invite them and inform them of the next Google+ Event. However, it turns out that thee feeling is usually mutual, so no actual booting involved.

I run a monthly game from my home but we have to schedule the Saturday we'll play on a monthly basis. So it would be easy to do the same. I've been fortunate, however, and never had to boot anyone. I do spend time communicating by e-mail about the campaign, characters, etc., so that helps avoid misaligned expectations.

 

[MNblockhead]

This is going to seem rude or unfair, but I don't try to reform people's behavior before kicking them. If they do not work with our group in their current state - I don't try to reform them - I kick them out. I have told players specifically why it did not work out when they ask or when they beg to come back to the group.

Many of my players have commented over the years how relieved they are I will pull the plug on a player who is not working out.

Sorry, I'm getting older, I don't have time for reforming folks - I just want to game and have fun.

I get this. Especially as a DM. As a DM, you have so much to keep track of that sometimes you don't pick up on things until they become big issues. It helps to have assertive players that can help nip problem behaviors in the bud before they become big issues, but I appreciate that not everyone is comfortable with this and for the benefit of the group as a whole, booting someone is the only practical course of action.

 

[jasper]

Only player I ever ejected from a game was my 11 year old daughter! It was the first ever game with her, my wife and 14 year old son. I said "it might help if someone writes down important stuff that happens". My daughter took that to mean write down every word Dad (the DM) says! She kept interrupting me so she could catch up with the writing and even wrote down me telling her NOT to write down literally everything!! She had to go.....

77 years later. On a trip to the tallest build of the world. Daughter "dad remember when used to game together. I still have my original dice." gentle places the bag in mrrockitt's hand. "Now don't fumble."
Mrrockitt " what " he askes as feels a hard shove at his back, "arrrrrrgh!"
Daughter, "told you not to fumble that dex check"
Seconds later a wet splat is heard.

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

My big issue with booting a player is we are all close friends of 25+ years, thought the player I'd like to boot I've been steadily drifting away from as our outlook on most things has become so vastly different. That is probably part of it, I'm less inclined to accept his shenanigans due to my lessening desire to spend time around him. If it was randoms at the store I'd boot them quick.

 

[Inchoroi]

(emphasis added)

If I had a player doing this, I would be moving treasure locations and switching certain NPC motivations. Add in some NPCs, encounters, and traps not in the adventure. I wouldn't change too much, not only because why make a lot of work for myself because of a McSpoiler in my group, but because having 98% of the adventure the same, with just a few critical plot items changes would drive a player like that nuts.

I'd take great relish in changing very subtle things, like the powerful magic item that they find is actually cursed! That NPC has totally different abilities now! Enjoy! And then watch as the realization dawned that I control the world in which they are attempting to tell a story.

I have a player that I'd love to boot, shows up late every session, has trouble understanding the most basic rules, round by round forgets how many times he can attack and what his character can actually do mechanically, etc. Why? Because he puts no effort into the game, hes been gaming with us on and off for 20 years but I think mostly its just something to do at this point. Problem is I kick him and I probably lose his two brothers and maybe the entire group.

I spent almost two years writing a setting and full 1-20 campaign. I don't have time for people who don't put in the effort.



Thus far, I've had to boot two people.

One was an ass; not offensively so, but just an ass to everyone, regardless of whether or not you did anything. According to his brother, that's just the way he is. So, I kicked him.

The second was also an ass, but an aggressive, abrasive one. He told my wife, whom we game with, to " off!" when he said he was going to make a cleric and she was already playing one (we don't like it when people double up on classes, with rare exceptions). He got thrown out quick. He spent the next six months trying to convince one of my players that I'm a bad DM and suck at writing and such (which is funny, because I get paid to write for a TTRPG now).

 

[Blue]

I don't get this. I almost exclusively DM currently and I have enough trouble keeping on top of everything I have to do as DM that adding in a DM-PC would just make my life more difficult. I mean, I've even thought of having someone joining me as co-DM to play important NPCs (kinda like they do on Dragon Friends, https://www.thedragonfriends.com/) for important encounters.

I guess this is one time where my mental deficiencies and laziness actually make me a better DM.

To be fair, it was a very heavy RP group. It was common to spend hours of a session on inter-party RP. Drama, dating and marriage, petty oneupsmanship, betc. In addition to planning and such in character. And that's how we enjoyed it. So it gave him a voice in those.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

The person I booted was (is?) a friend and, both of us being musicians, someone I even shared the stage with. Friendship was the only reason I put up with all the prior nonsense until the breaking point. And I can tell you that I wish I had made the call sooner. If friendship is enough reason to keep a person engaging in problematic behavior, it should even more be a reason for those people to not do all that stuff in the first place.

My big issue with booting a player is we are all close friends of 25+ years, thought the player I'd like to boot I've been steadily drifting away from as our outlook on most things has become so vastly different. That is probably part of it, I'm less inclined to accept his shenanigans due to my lessening desire to spend time around him. If it was randoms at the store I'd boot them quick.

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

The person I booted was (is?) a friend and, both of us being musicians, someone I even shared the stage with. Friendship was the only reason I put up with all the prior nonsense until the breaking point. And I can tell you that I wish I had made the call sooner. If friendship is enough reason to keep a person engaging in problematic behavior, it should even more be a reason for those people to not do all that stuff in the first place.

Sure. However half of the group is him and his two brothers. Even if it doesn't really damage friendships it may lead to the end of the group. Or at least dropping me to 3 players and I don't know any more RPG gamers really and don't plan on recruiting strangers from a game store to my home. So its just a tricky situation, we will see how it goes tonight.

 

[Schmoe]

I don't get this. I almost exclusively DM currently and I have enough trouble keeping on top of everything I have to do as DM that adding in a DM-PC would just make my life more difficult. I mean, I've even thought of having someone joining me as co-DM to play important NPCs (kinda like they do on Dragon Friends, https://www.thedragonfriends.com/) for important encounters.

I guess this is one time where my mental deficiencies and laziness actually make me a better DM.

You're doing it wrong, then. When you properly play a DMPC. The game is really only about your PC. All you have to think about is the cool things your PC can do, and let the rest of the party tag along. When you get good at it, a DMPC will make your life easier, not harder.

 

[BookBarbarian]

a DMPC will make your life easier, not harder.

Especially once you get all the best magic items