DM's Campaign Vision vs. Player preference

[Thia Halmades]

DonTadow: That's kind of what I'm saying. You're frustrated over the argument about the picture because that's what's right in front of you. The picture ain't the problem, dude, it's the player who keeps picking it despite the repeated discussion why picking it ain't an option.

Other than what I've covered already, the other thing I absolutely beileve you must do is not alienate her husband in any way, shape, or form. She sounds (from what you've said) to be more than happy to sabotage both your fun, and his fun, because she isn't having fun. That ain't right. Make sure he understands this isn't about him, and it isn't about you, it's about the game, and everyone's ability to enjoy it.

Good luck.

 

[DonTadow]

Doesn't really seem to be enhancing the experience right now, does it?

It would be a rare day when I could find an exact picture of one of my characters, unless I drew it myself - there would always be some detail missing, some aspect of the drawing that didn't fit. At best I could hope to come somewhere in the general vicinity, and if the GM told me that my character looked just like the illo, I'd be frustrated because I'd know better.

You haven't answered my earlier question: have you tried giving her a selection of pictures to choose from? Could you bear to part with one of your fifty NPC pictures in order to move the game along? Or is she expected to search for pictures so that you can raise or lower your thumb over it? What are you doing to stop this from being a stumbling block?

But this isn't really about the picture, is it, DonTadow? This is about your relationship with this player, right?

I'm not asking for nor have I ever asked for an exact picture of a character. That's crazy unless the player draws it themself. I"m asking the player to provide me an image of a darkened elf, thats it.

To answer the earlier question, I have sent 10 pictures to the player not including the one currently posted. I did something I don't like to do as a DM (im trying to show her that I am willing to work with her) by providing her my DM material on the Dark Elves including more images of how the elfclash authors invision them. They even include pictures of drow to show the differences. I couldn't thump it on her head any more.

But Im growing inclined to do what Thirdwizard said, just take my losses. The more I respond trhe more I am actually reading in writing 6 months of just a player whom is difficult to work with. I directed one of my players to hte thread whom responded "you havn't even told them about her nearly getting the party thrown into the pits. .

My thing is, I hate kicking people out the game. I had to kick one person out in my 5 years of dming and that was because he was making out with the other player while I was running the game. I am not a dictator and this is not my game its the players, but you're right Thia, it is moer than the picture.

Heck, in hindsight it might not be just the picture, but that the picture is the onlything i can control right now. I am also irked that two of my players had to repeat the plot to her 4 times yesterday because she was chatting with her husband during the game.

http://www.chrystaria.com/site/modules.php?name=Forums&file=weblog&w=1

Or it could have been that the week before she brought her 9 year old to the game, without telling me at all. I literally walked out of my room and the kid is there at the table. It wasn't a problem but they drive 35 minutes to get to my house someone could have called.

Or it could be that I have to talk over her frequently during game when Im reading room descriptions.
It could be a lot of reasons and the picture is just the straw that is breaking the camel's back.

 

[The Shaman]

*snip*

First, please pardon us for hijacking your thread, DonTadow!

Okay, Thia Halmades, I confess: I'm deliberately oversimplifying things here, for purposes of contrast (and maybe a bit of humor... ). Let me describe an adventure, and I'll see if I can elucidate why I think the Gygax quote fits my gaming style so well...

The first adventure in our Modern military game began with the characters making a parachute training jump and encountering a pair of insurgents on the DZ. After a short firefight, the insurgents were killed and some valuable intelligence gained. The adventurers then set off to carry this information back to their rendezvous point. Along the way one of the characters was nearly stung by a deadly scorpion during a rest break. The adventurers then encountered a large group of bad guys, set up an ambush, then defended themselves from the baddies. Afterwards they were extracted and gave their report. End of mission.

Sounds like a pretty straightforward story. However, everything that happened after stepping out of the plane was determined more-or-less randomly. Finding the insurgents was entirely dependent on the characters making successful Spot checks (in pre-dawn darkness). The scorpion was a random encounter. And discovering the baddies and setting up the ambush was the result of a lucky die roll that put them in the right place at the right time, followed by successful Hide and Spot checks.

The most probable outcome, based on how the flowchart was weighted, wasn't even close to the way the adventure actually played out. The "story," which sounds like it has a traditional beginning, transition, conflict, transition, conflict, and resolution, didn't exist until after the adventure was over - I created a setting, started the parts in motion, and let chance and the characters dictate everything that happened thereafter.

I didn't author a story - the events of the game did. There was no need for me to create drama - the drama arose from the characters' experiences.

In fantasy games, I create settings - a dungeon, a wilderness, a town - for the players to explore. They come up with the reasons to be there - fame, fortune, revenge, ale and happy endings, or whatever. I have things happening in the background, but these generally don't occupy the players unless the players choose to involve their characters. Again, I create a setting and set it in motion, and what the players do determines the outcomes.

I'm not the director or the screenwriter - I'm the git who pushes the scenery around and herds the extras. The players tell the story.

 

[The Shaman]

It could be a lot of reasons and the picture is just the straw that is breaking the camel's back.

*PING!*

I agree.

It sounds like you've made a reasonable effort to accomdate this player, and she's refusing to meet you halfway. She's a disruptive gamer and she needs to either get her act together or take it on the road, even if that's difficult for you to do.

Good luck.

 

[WayneLigon]

If a DM told me that my character illustration was unsuitable for the campaign, I would have a very hard time going back to the gaming table.

I'd be glad to see you go, too.

If such an illustration clashes too heavily with the GM's vision of his world, he has every right - and you should have every expectation - of refusal.

 

[Wild Gazebo]

Skin tone!!!???


I think we all know the problem isn't the picture.


I have yet to see a picture that could make or break a setting...and I've spent a great deal of time studying imagery and rhetoric....a great deal of time.

 

[DonTadow]

After following the advice to send her more pics, this is the response I received after one month of correspondance. Now, keep in mind I first sent her this text

Expert from Elfclash:
Physical Description: Dark Elves
typically stand from 4’6”-5’6” tall and weigh
around 85-135 pounds. They have deeply
tanned skin, which is what earned them the
label of “Dark Elf ” from the humans. They
typically have blue or green eyes and blond,
brown, black, or red hair.

After sending me several pics I sent her this pic to better describe the character

To which she sent me these she wished to use instead;

I told her she still didnt get it so I sent her some more pics

To which (after a month of correspondance and the first pic staying on the website under her name for quite sometime) she sends this message.

we don't have to change the character race (carmetta?) I just
didn't have any idea what I was supposed to look like because I couldn't
find anything that looked right. thanks for giving me a visual. I'll
just have Jackie draw me something to match

This is what I"m dealing with. How could she have not known if I sent her a description and pictures. eh

 

[babomb]

Any medium we enjoy has some sort of story holding it together. Except maybe Pong, but I'm sure if you dig deep enough you can find a Pong fanfic.

A Pong fanfic? Try 61

This is what I"m dealing with. How could she have not known if I sent her a description and pictures.

Just take one of her pictures and darken the skin in Photoshop/GIMP/your image editor of choice.

 

[DonTadow]

A Pong fanfic? Try 61


Just take one of her pictures and darken the skin in Photoshop/GIMP/your image editor of choice.

24 hours later and a resolution.

I emailed her. I told her we could go with the bastard suggestion from above if she wants to look like another race. Thats when she sent the email in my previous post. I then darked up one of the images she gave me and told her we'd use that since she wants to remain a dark elf. Again, another consession on my part ::sigh::.

I then talked with the some other players whom told me that her meddling was bothersome, but that they usually tone out her complaints. They didn't too much care for her style and it was peaceful when she was gone, but they didnt want to be responsbile for loosing the husband (the tank). So I decided to deal with it a little longer and told her about my other current issues (her looking behind my dm screen and bringing her 9 year old). She apologized and said "i didnt realize it as much of a problem".

Sigh Hope things get better.

 

[Harmon]

Might have missed this suggestion- if someone made it then I apologize for stepping on toes.

Take one of the pictures she sent you, and color it- change the hair, skin and eyes to match your view then send it back. "Okay, I like this one- it fits for both of us. Sorry about all the harshness."

Might get your point across. Good luck (sounds like you need it).