Do you know what a leitmotif is?

[Jack7]

Write the book in Latin, because more people should know Latin. Authors should expose their readers to it. Let the readers use an online translator if they need to.[/sarcasm]

Well, if your audience all read Latin, you'd write mostly in Latin. But Latin authors often used terms and phrases adopted from other languages, like Greek for instance. Which they did a lot by the way.

You're welcome to your opinion of course. But exposure to a German word, or exposure to a Latin term, I can't imagine that harming anyone in any way. An increase in intelligence and vocabulary is nothing to be feared or avoided. Quite the opposite.

As for leading someone away from your text, well, a novel should interact with the rest of the world, not remain isolated from it. A novel is not a Grade School Primer, it's a novel. It's supposed to be full of big ideas. Otherwise it's just a third grade comic book with a third grade vocabulary.

I think you're wrong on this one.

P.S.: I'm not for writing most comic books on a third grade level either, that was just an easy, short-hand illustration of the point that you shouldn't write down to or talk down to your audience. Assume others are at least as capable as you are and you might just find this to be the case. And if they aren't as capable as you are, then in a free world, they certainly can become so if they so desire. It's not the author's job to limit the potential capabilities or imagination of the audience. That's what is wrong with too much modern media. The author should say what he needs to say and trust that his audience is smart enough to understand the point. The audience might not agree with the point, but you shouldn't talk down to them as if they cannot figure out the implications.

 

[RangerWickett]

Intriguing moral discussion here. I think I'll keep it in, though when I get an agent/editor, if they want it changed, I'll trust their opinion.

The line is:

I awake to the opening notes of my leitmotif, coming from my ex-girlfriend’s speakers.

 

[Mark]

Intriguing moral discussion here. I think I'll keep it in, though when I get an agent/editor, if they want it changed, I'll trust their opinion.

The line is:

I awake to the opening notes of my leitmotif, coming from my ex-girlfriend’s speakers.

That particular sentence doesn't seem to contextualize the word very well. I suspect your editor will request a rewrite. "my?' leitmotif suggests a metaphoric meaning (. . . another day in my cyclical life . . .) but the reference to your "ex-girlfriend's speakers" suggests a actual/musical meaning (I'm listening this morning to a piece I composed . . .). The sentence seems potentially confusing even while knowing the word, so I'd suggest rewriting it. And what's with you being in possesion of your "ex-girlfriend's speakers" anyway? Whetting an appetitie is good but being purposefully obfuscatory is an awkward way to open a piece of writing. Build a relationship with the reader that allows them to discover how clever you are without you waving a sign in front of them claiming it is so.

 

[Jack7]

That particular sentence doesn't seem to contextualize the word very well. I suspect your editor will request a rewrite. "my?' leitmotif suggests a metaphoric meaning (. . . another day in my cyclical life . . .) but the reference to your "ex-girlfriend's speakers" suggests a actual/musical meaning (I'm listening this morning to a piece I composed . . .). The sentence seems potentially confusing even while knowing the word, so I'd suggest rewriting it. And what's with you being in possesion of your "ex-girlfriend's speakers" anyway? Whetting an appetitie is good but being purposefully obfuscatory is an awkward way to open a piece of writing. Build a relationship with the reader that allows them to discover how clever you are without you waving a sign in front of them claiming it is so.

I agree with Mark for the most part on this one. The phrasing is awkward in comparison to the meaning I suspect you are trying to imply.

I'd rewrite the sentence, or perhaps construct two separate sentences to carry the meaning. The first part of the line seems almost poetic, the second phrase clashes with the first.

It's just criticism though.
I wouldn't take it personally. Just rewrite it a couple of times and see if you can make it sound better, while still conveying the meaning you intend.

I'll bet you can improve the phrasing while still maintaining (or perhaps even improving upon) your meaning and intention.

 

[RangerWickett]

In context, the narrator is waking up in his ex-girlfriend's house as she starts watching a show on TV. The show is a machinima series (animation derived from a video game) based on an online RPG which the narrator plays in.

[More precisely, the MMORPG allows you to use social-network-y tools to tag other players -- friends or just people you think are cool -- so you can watch their characters' exploits. Every week a group of animators take the most popular characters or most interesting events, then cut them, edit them, and enhance with a new soundtrack and so on, and release the package as a web series.]

The episode his ex-girlfriend is watching opens on a scene starring the narrator's character, who has been on the show often enough that he has his own musical theme, so it literally is his leitmotif.

 

[lin_fusan]

I'd be more willing to accept the opening line if the main character, the ex-girlfriend, or the story had something to do with music, such that the line and the term would fit thematically.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Did not know the word. Now I do. Having learned my one new thing, I can just cruise for the rest of the day.

 

[Desdichado]

I don't agree with the idea that authors should use archaic or obscure terms in some teacher-like manner to make readers learn new words. Authors should use the best word for the concept. Sometimes an archaic or obscure word is the best. Sometimes a common or new word is best. If "leitmotif" is the best for your particular text, use it. If it is not the best word right there, don't use it just to expose your readers to a new word.

That does seem to be a particularly smug and pretentious reason to use an unusual word. I agree wholeheartedly.

Plus... any writer who forgets the audience for whom he's writing is a bad writer. Using words to "teach" the readers of your fantasy novel?

Good luck getting that sold.

 

[Jdvn1]

Authors should use the best word for the concept. Sometimes an archaic or obscure word is the best. Sometimes a common or new word is best. If "leitmotif" is the best for your particular text, use it.

I tend to agree with this concept.

I'd also like to offer: I like books that challenge me. It could be morally, it could be intellectually, or it could be something else.

I have a friend who reads the Dresden books. On his suggestion, I tried out the first book--I found it poorly written and filled with a lot of fluff. I suggested my friend read one my books--he founded it overly verbose and very dense and couldn't get through it. In my opinion, he doesn't read books that challenge him intellectually, they're just light, fun stories. I read books that are great stories, but you also learn something (my author probably has more prestigious awards than his, and is required reading in many literature courses in Spain).

My girlfriend went from reading Percy Jackson (which I found to be light, but also intellectually interesting, though clearly written for children) to reading the author I like, and she found my books to be dense, a challenge to get through, but she ended up loving the book and having a strong sense of accomplishment for overcoming her challenge.

While I think my books are better, I readily admit I'm biased. I wouldn't read my books if I didn't think they were better than other books. On the other hand, I wouldn't say my style is the "one true way." Different folks, different strokes. If you want to read lighter books as an escape, and don't want to flex your intellect too much, that's great. Some people need that.

So, I'd say there are different types of readers. Some just want a light story, some want to learn something. Most books fall in a spectrum somewhere in between. Where you want to be is your choice. Write what you love.

 

[Mark]

Also, use the name of the ex-girlfriend in the opening line and then allow the reader to learn who she is (though quickly). The narrator knows who she is and should think of her by name, not by the informational title the author wishes to convey to the reader. Whether it is first person (as it is in the one sentence provided) or third person, the characters will develop more quickly and naturally if the POV is closer. In this way, the reader will also more quickly become immersed in the story.