Do you think it is reasonable not to tip your server?

[Dannyalcatraz]

Why did she let the customer know what she did in her off time?

Among some, there's a near automatic assumption in the USA that a woman with short hair, minimal/nonexistent cosmetics and masculine or gender-neutral attire is a homosexual. (Ditto for any signs of androgyny.) They made that assumption based on that stereotype and happened to be correct, but as Descartes points out, that's no excuse.

 

[Springs1]

But if your appetizers come out late that is not the waiters fault it is the kitchen

Actually it can be here's why:

1. My husband and I have had servers ADMIT that they FORGOT to put appetizer orders into the computer.

2. The servers have also admitted to us putting in orders wrong as well.

3. Forgetting to get the appetizer(We have had a forgotten side salad and a forgotten cup of bisque from our server).

4. Waiting to get the appetizer order by not coming by cleaning up instead or chit chatting.

5. Delaying putting in the appetizer order such as taking multiple table's orders without being called over rather than putting in the order into the computer.

6. Dropping the food(never has happened to us, but can happen).

7. Handing the food out of order making the 1st table wait longer than they are supposed to be. (We had a waiter decide to hand a soup that this couple that came after us that ordered AFTER us before our appetizer on the same tray). He could have done the morally right thing by handing us ours first, but no he wanted to play cutsies.

Sorry, you are wrong in most cases with what you are saying. Do you not go out to eat ever? You obviously never been a server before. I have never been, but I know these things just from having them HAPPEN to us and it's just COMMON SENSE!

Not sure why you think it's not their fault in most cases? First off, they are there to do the timing on the food as far as when they put in orders. Usually servers wait to put in entree orders after they see you have gotten your appetizer or at least waited a little while before putting in your entree orders.

I have seen a waiter slammed with tables because someone called in sick and customers punish the waiter for not getting drinks out fast enough or getting back quickly for refills.

It's fair in terms of *TURNS*. If you have 6 tables, they all as you pass by ask for something(let's say refills), if you make that 1st table wait for you to get multiple table's refills on a tray then that's cutting. You have to go table by table not to have people waiting longer than they are supposed to be. How would *YOU* feel if *YOU* were at the 1st table waiting 10-15 minutes for a couple of refills because your server wanted to get 12 refills on a tray for multiple tables? I bet you'd be pissed too.

My point is, you can do things in a timely manner if you try even if you are slammed. A lot of servers decide to be unfair making the 1st table wait the longest, which is very unfair.

For example when a server is triple sat, they should not be getting all 3 table's orders and then heading to the computer, they should be going to the computer after each table gives their orders so the food or bar drinks can get started. The longer they wait to put in our orders, the longer we wait!

I think waiters should be paid a full salary and we do away with tipping.

No server that's any good wants that, because they make more with their tips. There is NO INCENTIVE to get 5 refills for each person in a party of 2 vs. a party of 2 that wants only 1 refill with no tipping. Tipping makes the server want to do more because they'd get paid more. If you get the same pay, why would you work 5 times as hard for the same pay? Is that fair? No, it's not.

I'd rather have tipping so I can control my dining experience with giving incentives to the workers that do well with a big tip and ones that do poorly with a bad tip. This way, I control my dining experience to make it better. If there's no way to penalize someone WHY in the world would they stop their bad behavior if the boss isn't going to fire them for it, huh?

Read about positive and negative reinforcement. Obviously you haven't taken psychology, have you?

You sure need some customer experience with delayed appetizers, because you have NO CLUE of what you are talking about. Most issues with delays are due to your server.

 

[Springs1]

My issue with this is so often, slow service has nothing to do with the wait staff. It often is a result of bad management, the kitchen, and other factors

Yes MOST of the time it does have to do with the server or another server which is a part of the service.

Answer these questions if you were a server:

1. WHEN do you put in my order? Do you wait or do you go put it in immediately after taking it? If you are double sat or triple sat, you can still go put in each order into the computer after taking each table’s order. By not doing that can result in a much longer wait and that would be YOUR FAULT.

2. FORGETTING to put in an order. My husband and I have experienced this for REAL that servers ADMITTED to our faces they have FORGOTTEN TO PUT ORDERS IN. All of them were appetizers, bar drinks, and a cup of soup.

3. Did you put in the order CORRECTLY into the computer? Have had many times servers ADMITTED to our faces they did not do that correctly. Have had wrong entrées before due to our server putting in the order wrong. Have had wrong bar drinks too due to the server putting in the order wrong.

4. Did you FORGET ANYTHING I ORDERED such as a SIDE DISH? We have had this happen a number of times as well.

5. Did you DROP anything I ordered? Luckily, we have not had this happen, but I have seen a server once drop some fries from a plate before and I did have a waiter spill some margarita martini when pouring into a martini glass. In other words, it is possible, not likely, but very possible.

6. Did you remember to GET my food? We have had a server do that before. Also, we have had a number of servers forget bar drinks.

7. Did you bring out my food obviously correctly if you bring my food out? Do you realize how many times OUR OWN SERVER brings out DUH mistakes like the side dish is wrong, the entrée is wrong, something obvious is not correct bacon that isn’t covered up isn’t extra, extra crispy when you can clearly notice that it isn’t without touching anything, etc.? Every DUH mistake you bring out is YOUR FAULT I am waiting for what I did order by you wasting my time bringing me the wrong item or wrongly prepared item or forgot something. While we all make mistakes, I would have to say a good 90% of the time, servers NEVER COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE FOOD, because they are TOO LAZY and DON’T CARE!!

8. Servers DO wait to put in entrée orders when appetizers, side salads, or cups of soup are ordered. THAT *IS* THE GOD’S TRUTH! Sometimes it’s TOO LONG THEY WAIT! If it’s another server, it still doesn’t make it the kitchen staff’s fault I have the wrong side dish for example since that is something that’s obvious. It’s either my server that didn’t put in my order correctly or this other server that didn’t compare the ticket to the food or that this other server did compare the ticket to the food, but just missed it(HIGHLY UNLIKELY, but possible).

9. WHEN do you come to GET MY ORDER? That part is covered in #2 below.

10. WHEN do you DECIDE to LET ME ORDER? That part is covered in #4 below.

11. WHEN do you decide to DELIVER MY FOOD? That part is covered in #1 below.

12. Do you, because they are out of something, decide to assume everyone wants the closest thing so you do the ordering for me? That part is covered in #3 below.

1. Once, we had a Red Lobster waitress had our 2 entrées on the tray as well as 2 side salads that were for a couple that wasn’t even there when we ordered. Anyway, instead of bypassing their table to hand us ours first since WE DID ORDER FIRST(common sense would tell you that it takes more time to cook food than it does to fix a side salad anyways even if it wasn’t our server that delivered our food, but it was our waitress that delivered our food), she decided to hand them theirs first off the tray. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT IS IN THE SERVER’S CONTROL TO HAND OUT THINGS OFF THE SAME TRAY IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS ORDERED IN!!

2. Once, we had a waitress that greeted us which we ordered an appetizer as well as our drinks when greeted. I saw she tucking in chairs at empty tables and pretty much doing everything but coming back to get our entrée order. Well, I found out what happened. She brought out our appetizer and when I asked she said that she wanted to wait to put in our entrée orders. The thing is, that delayed us more by not at least coming to GET our orders. That way, when the appetizer was ready, we wouldn’t have gotten delayed eating our appetizer since we then had to give our entrée orders when we could have given our entrée orders WELL BEFORE THAT and we would have gotten our entrées faster due to that she could have just left to put our entrée orders into the computer after delivering our appetizer instead of taking time to order when our appetizer was sitting in front of us. The point is, SHE delayed our entrées as well as to be able to start eating our appetizer because she could have at least TAKEN our entrée orders and then when our appetizer would have been brought out, could have immediately gone to the computer to put our entrée orders in.What she did was make us wait while our hot appetizer was sitting in front of us, we couldn’t touch it, because we had to order our entrées and could have done that wayyy before that. She also delayed our entrées because we had to spend extra time AFTER our appetizer arrived to give her our entrée orders when we could have done that wayyyy before that.

3. Once, we had a waitress that assumed that because they were out of raspberry topping for a cheesecake slice when we had ordered dessert that she’d bring us strawberry. Turns out, she knew when she put in the order that the computer had it the manager told us. So she did it on PURPOSE to be so lazy and uncaring as to not come to ask if we wanted the next closest thing. We didn’t, we sent it back, so she had MORE WORK. Also, she didn’t even think about what if someone is allergic to strawberries. I just honestly can’t believe someone would do that. If they are out of something, common sense would be to come to see if the next closest thing is ok. Not everyone wants the next closest thing. So it wasn’t like it was just getting the order wrong by accident or by not verifying the written order with what she was bringing or putting in the order wrong by accident, this was on PURPOSE to be LAZY and to ASSUME. I didn’t know at first that she did that. I thought at first she just was that stupid(or truly just messed up(highly doubt it)) to bring us strawberries on top of a cheesecake when we ordered raspberries.

4. Your server delays coming to get your order or delays you ordering due to personal conversation. We have had that before as well. Once, we had a waiter that we didn’t know after waiting 15 mins. for a table on Mardi Gras day ask us BEFORE we ORDERED ANYTHING “How’s y’all’s Mardi Gras” “Go to any parades.” See, I don’t mind chit chat with a stranger, but be considerate to do it AFTER we have our orders into the computer so you don’t take up our time.

We have also had servers not come to get our order due to playing around. Sometimes taking a long time or a longer time has A LOT to do with the server:My husband and I have had 3 TIMES where servers FORGOT to put food orders into the computer. We also have 4 times servers forget to get bar drinks from the bar. Once a waitress forgot to put in a bar drink into the computer. Two of the 3 times it was an appetizer and the servers ADMITTED doing so. The third time was a cup of bisque which is normally served before a meal just like a side salad is. My husband and I also have had delays due to that the servers delayed putting orders into the computer when they COULD have such as deciding to buss a table first or decide instead of a mini-greet(I’ll be right with you all), one waiter I saw decided to take a party of 6 people’s drink/appetizer orders instead of putting in our food orders into the computer. I can understand if they call you over, but if they don’t, you should be putting that order into the computer not delaying our food. The longer you wait to put in orders, the LONGER WE WAIT!! So truly think about that MOST of the time when you wait a LONG TIME for your food or bar drinks even, it could be the server’s fault. 9 times out of 10, your server had *SOMETHING* to do with the delay in most cases! That’s the GOD’S TRUTH!

Sorry, but what you just said is not true, it's just not. Be HONEST and think about it with some COMMON SENSE PLEASE!

 

[Elf Witch]

Springs1


I worked as a waitress and I do eat out. And yes waiters make mistakes especially if they are slammed. If they admitted the mistake and tried to fix it or offer compensation for the mistake then you should still give them a tip maybe not 20% but something especially if that was the only problem.

And if I am so wrong about waiters wanting to be paid better than please explain to me why there are many waiters in this country organizing for better wages let me guess they are all just bad waiters.

Depending on where they work waiters also have to make salads, desserts bus there own tables. So getting slammed can cause drinks not the brought on in a timely fashion. It is a hard job customers can be real jerks. You know how many times a customer forgot to special order something and then yelled at me because of their mistake or working my butt off to provide service to a very demanding table and then getting no tip or a laughable one.

You have no clue what you are talking about bad waiters get fired all the time, using your logic why don't we tip all employees that we can control every experience. And since you don't tip the cook you have no control over how your food is prepared what are you going to do punish the server walk out without paying?

In the future I would suggest you not assume that you know anything about a fellow poster that way you can avoid coming off so rude.

 

[Springs1]

How the food is prepared is a kitchen problem so I don't base the tip off of that

Not always, in fact most of the time it's the server.

Do they put in your order CORRECTLY(EVERY SINGLE PART)? I put in orders wrong before when I worked at a donut shop/diner, which I remember once I forgot to put no ketchup on this lady's kastle type burgers. My fault, NOT the cook's. I DIDN'T PUT IN THE ORDER CORRECTLY, ME, MY FAULT!

Do they bring out an obvious error to your table such as the wrong side dish when they took your order?

You aren't thinking with common sense.

 

[Bedrockgames]

Spring, judging by the length and tone of your list, I think we are on a very different page. My experience working in restaurants as a waiter and dining room manager and my experience as a delivery driver, is that people often do penalize the server for things very much beyond their control. Absolutely servers do make mistakes as well. The point is there are lots of things you might not see, the server has zero control over, that contribute to bad restaurant experience.

 

[Morrus]

You aren't thinking with common sense.

First, welcome to EN World.

Secondly, please don't make ad hominem remarks like that. Address the argument, not the poster.

Third, could you please tone down your USE of CAPS. It comes across as very aggressive.

Thanks, and enjoy your stay here!

 

[Elf Witch]

Not always, in fact most of the time it's the server.

Do they put in your order CORRECTLY(EVERY SINGLE PART)? I put in orders wrong before when I worked at a donut shop/diner, which I remember once I forgot to put no ketchup on this lady's kastle type burgers. My fault, NOT the cook's. I DIDN'T PUT IN THE ORDER CORRECTLY, ME, MY FAULT!

Do they bring out an obvious error to your table such as the wrong side dish when they took your order?

You aren't thinking with common sense.

There s not one side to this no matter how much you try and make it so. I have been eating out a long time I am fifty six in a month and for the most part the service I get is good to excellent. Yes I have had bad service and when I did I left a small tip and complained to the manger on duty for horrendous service I left no tip and not only complained to the manger on duty but wrote a letter to the owners.

As both a customer and a server I have seen nasty customers who are the ones screwing up and they take it out on the staff.

Your waiter at Red Lobster took how long delivering the salad before your main course? BTW the reason she delivered the salad first was that is the way a lot of us or told to do it. Get the salad and other pre main courses out first so that customer has time to eat it before the main course arrives. Maybe you should complain to the management.

 

[Bedrockgames]

Not always, in fact most of the time it's the server.

Do they put in your order CORRECTLY(EVERY SINGLE PART)? I put in orders wrong before when I worked at a donut shop/diner, which I remember once I forgot to put no ketchup on this lady's kastle type burgers. My fault, NOT the cook's. I DIDN'T PUT IN THE ORDER CORRECTLY, ME, MY FAULT!

Do they bring out an obvious error to your table such as the wrong side dish when they took your order?

You aren't thinking with common sense.

Servars can make mistakes. In my experience though most issues customers complained about in this area were kitchen issues. You would get incorrect orders taken by wait staff but you also get food prepared incorrectly ( underdone , overdone, over seasoned, etc) in the kitchen .

Now when the kitchen makes a mistake the server is the face of the restaurant and should apologize but you seem way too eager to blame the servers here in my opinion.

 

[Springs1]

Springs1I worked as a waitress and I do eat out. And yes waiters make mistakes especially if they are slammed. If they admitted the mistake and tried to fix it or offer compensation for the mistake then you should still give them a tip maybe not 20% but something especially if that was the only problem.

And if I am so wrong about waiters wanting to be paid better than please explain to me why there are many waiters in this country organizing for better wages let me guess they are all just bad waiters.

Depending on where they work waiters also have to make salads, desserts bus there own tables. So getting slammed can cause drinks not the brought on in a timely fashion. It is a hard job customers can be real jerks. You know how many times a customer forgot to special order something and then yelled at me because of their mistake or working my butt off to provide service to a very demanding table and then getting no tip or a laughable one.

You have no clue what you are talking about bad waiters get fired all the time, using your logic why don't we tip all employees that we can control every experience. And since you don't tip the cook you have no control over how your food is prepared what are you going to do punish the server walk out without paying?

In the future I would suggest you not assume that you know anything about a fellow poster that way you can avoid coming off so rude.

You sure couldn't deny my *FACTS* I see, because they are ALL THE TRUTH! Waiting a long time for anything is usually the server's fault. I didn't say always, but most of the time it is. I have seen servers wait to put in orders to get other table's orders that didn't call them over, buss tables, chit chat, etc. Putting in orders wrong, forgetting to put in orders, bringing out obviously wrong food, etc. Those are all delays caused by them if they did all of that, NOT someone else.

I already know about servers making salads and desserts. Red Lobster makes the servers make side salads the manager told me. I have beennnnnn knowing this. This isn't news.

If they admitted the mistake and tried to fix it or offer compensation for the mistake then you should still give them a tip maybe not 20% but something especially if that was the only problem.

Most don't apologize for their mistakes no matter how nice you are about them or even they remember at the table something they don't acknowledge they messed up or even lie. Most don't give compensation, a good 98% of them don't.

Most of the time, it's not mistakes, it's laziness on the job in most cases. Some servers(which most places allow you to write orders down) don't write orders down. How can I feel sorry for a lazy worker? I got back in 1998 at my first job as counter help in a donut shop/diner a raise of 35 cents within only a month and a half. I am very hard worker is my point, I expect my server to try their best just as I did and still do at my current job.

Can you truly say you try your best writing *ALL* request down and reread them before going to the table? Can you truly say you check everything you are handing the customer for errors as much as you possibly can without having to touch food to notice the mistake or mistakes?

I bet you would say you don't, am I right?

You just don't get that most of the time, it's not mistakes, it's pure laziness such as not checking the order, then bringing me my food without my side dish. I had that happen recently, twice the same side dish with 2 different servers over the years. I mean come on now, do you honestly think they verified their written order with the food *BEFORE* they brought ONLY US TWO people at the table our food?

And if I am so wrong about waiters wanting to be paid better than please explain to me why there are many waiters in this country organizing for better wages let me guess they are all just bad waiters.

Just bad waiters. As I said, most servers don't try their best. Most are lazy in general.

using your logic why don't we tip all employees that we can control every experience.

I honestly wish we could do that honestly. This way at McDonald's, I could get better service.

And since you don't tip the cook you have no control over how your food is prepared what are you going to do punish the server walk out without paying?

I have some control over it by ordering a certain way. I have NEVER walked out without paying. I only punish the server for server mistakes, not kitchen mistakes.