does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?
- Thread starter Aaron L
- Start date
Desdichado
Hero
Hey, the key to confidence is playing to your strengths. Figuratively pissing in the pool is mine. I have a huge bladder.Cabled said:
The Shaman
First Post
Seriously.Dark Jezter said:You can do this, Aaron. We're all pulling for you.
Remember, when a gamer gets a little action, an angel earns its wings.
Don't let down the angels, Aaron.
I deleted a picture of an ENWorld poster that was obviously meant to be mocking. Then I had to delete the same picture as it was quoted over and over.
That is not acceptable behavior here. Any further personal attacks in this thread will result in harsh penalties.
That is not acceptable behavior here. Any further personal attacks in this thread will result in harsh penalties.
Spell
First Post
Honestly, Aaron, you can do something.
i am also having problems finding girls, and i'm also VERY picky on top. but that is not the end of the world.
the end of the world is your attitude. you fail not because you're bad, but because you think you're not.
have a look around. how many a**holes can you see? i see many, every day. i'm sure every single one of us does. and still they seem to succeed.
why? because they don't think they lack something.
you lack this or that? of course you do. you know what? we all miss something to really like ourselves. we can always be smarter, cooler, and what not. you think you are a freak? good! freaks are more interesting. you are a nerd or a geek? great! show'em this link: http://sfbayarea.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html
it's not what you are, but your attitude. sitting in a bar drinking won't help any problem you have. and, from what i can see, it doesn't make you feel better, too. and i think it has been instrumental in losing friends and respect of yourself.
my advice is:
1. forget about doctors. i don't trust them. some of them might be good, but you said you have seen them all your life with no help resulting. well, don't invest money in that. forget about syndromes, depression, diseases, and all that junk. i can't say i have ever talked with a person that i can define as completely normal. what exactly is the definition of normality, anyway?
if you are actually having difficulty finding a job and living out of the money the social security is giving you, move to a cheaper area.
but don't let physical problems bring you down. there are plenty of successful people ut there with one impairment or another. realise that it could always be worse.
2. DO stop drinking. it will be difficult, but it's well worth it.
3. DO get a proper healthy diet. i have seen on myself that eating junk food or non homemade food for as little as two months made me fat, paranoid, aggressive, negative and so on. i had to, at the time, as there was no other solution and i knew it was going to end soon. if you can't chage your diet for any reason, well, do the impossible. having a healthy diet will help you in a way you can't imagine. and it's also usually way cheaper than buying food outside.
4. the important thing is not trying, but trying in the right way. everybody makes effort. those that are most successful at whatever are not trying harder, are just trying better, 99% of the time. check this book out: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/07...2?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance
it's really worth its money.
5. put that "my personality is repulsive" out of my face. i have seen the sleaziest persons getting the best girls. i have seen people with the iq and the personality of a broken lightbulb getting laid. your personality is just like anyone else's. it has good points and bad points. if you don't learn to accept yourself, nobody will. honest.
6. people are surprised when i tell them i'm shy. but i am. the key point is, as someone already has said, if you have nothing to lose, you can't hurt yourself. if you are asking a girl out, even if you are the most lurid and repulsive weirdo, you are paying her a compliment. would you feel guilty or uneasy to make a random compliment to a girl? i don't think so. (if that's the case, work on that, too).
if she acts like you have outraged her or something, well, it's the wrong type of woman. it's not a defeat, it's actually a victory: imagine what catastrophe would it be, going out with such a stupid woman! imagine how much time have you saved! rejoyce!
7. realise that you ARE looking for advice. else, why posting in teh first place? i don't believe that drunk people do things that are alien to themselves. even if you are not looking for advice, i think you have enough sensible stuff in these pages to collect in a book. you have found something valuable without looking. how about taking this unwanted gift and making something out of it?
i am also having problems finding girls, and i'm also VERY picky on top. but that is not the end of the world.
the end of the world is your attitude. you fail not because you're bad, but because you think you're not.
have a look around. how many a**holes can you see? i see many, every day. i'm sure every single one of us does. and still they seem to succeed.
why? because they don't think they lack something.
you lack this or that? of course you do. you know what? we all miss something to really like ourselves. we can always be smarter, cooler, and what not. you think you are a freak? good! freaks are more interesting. you are a nerd or a geek? great! show'em this link: http://sfbayarea.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html
it's not what you are, but your attitude. sitting in a bar drinking won't help any problem you have. and, from what i can see, it doesn't make you feel better, too. and i think it has been instrumental in losing friends and respect of yourself.
my advice is:
1. forget about doctors. i don't trust them. some of them might be good, but you said you have seen them all your life with no help resulting. well, don't invest money in that. forget about syndromes, depression, diseases, and all that junk. i can't say i have ever talked with a person that i can define as completely normal. what exactly is the definition of normality, anyway?
if you are actually having difficulty finding a job and living out of the money the social security is giving you, move to a cheaper area.
but don't let physical problems bring you down. there are plenty of successful people ut there with one impairment or another. realise that it could always be worse.
2. DO stop drinking. it will be difficult, but it's well worth it.
3. DO get a proper healthy diet. i have seen on myself that eating junk food or non homemade food for as little as two months made me fat, paranoid, aggressive, negative and so on. i had to, at the time, as there was no other solution and i knew it was going to end soon. if you can't chage your diet for any reason, well, do the impossible. having a healthy diet will help you in a way you can't imagine. and it's also usually way cheaper than buying food outside.
4. the important thing is not trying, but trying in the right way. everybody makes effort. those that are most successful at whatever are not trying harder, are just trying better, 99% of the time. check this book out: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/07...2?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance
it's really worth its money.
5. put that "my personality is repulsive"
out of my face. i have seen the sleaziest persons getting the best girls. i have seen people with the iq and the personality of a broken lightbulb getting laid. your personality is just like anyone else's. it has good points and bad points. if you don't learn to accept yourself, nobody will. honest.6. people are surprised when i tell them i'm shy. but i am. the key point is, as someone already has said, if you have nothing to lose, you can't hurt yourself. if you are asking a girl out, even if you are the most lurid and repulsive weirdo, you are paying her a compliment. would you feel guilty or uneasy to make a random compliment to a girl? i don't think so. (if that's the case, work on that, too).
if she acts like you have outraged her or something, well, it's the wrong type of woman. it's not a defeat, it's actually a victory: imagine what catastrophe would it be, going out with such a stupid woman! imagine how much time have you saved! rejoyce!
7. realise that you ARE looking for advice. else, why posting in teh first place? i don't believe that drunk people do things that are alien to themselves. even if you are not looking for advice, i think you have enough sensible stuff in these pages to collect in a book. you have found something valuable without looking. how about taking this unwanted gift and making something out of it?
Desdichado
Hero
Of course not! I like positions where my wife's on top, actually. It's a perfectly acceptible substitute if you have problems of any kind on top.Spell said:
Yep, you have a chance
Ok Aaron, time for some seriousness. Lots of good advice here, your "toolbox" is probably fuller now than most of the people here before this thread started up. Think on that one for a minute...because You asked the question, a lot of people here have seen different ideas, strategies, and approaches. Your life stands to be better if you follow some or all of them, but so do some other people's here too, I guarantee it, whether anyone ever says so or not. Simply by asking, you've inadverdently enriched some other folks' lives...purty cool huh?
A little anecdote, you you have to read it![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
When I was in high school a good time ago, I was in the same boat you're in...not the same place on the boat, but in the boat. I'd get so nervous some days just walking into class that I'd skip classes...just couldn't walk into a room full of people, some of whom were even friends. I hated it, I knew it was silly...still couldn't do it. My senior year, I signed up for drama...I was going to make myself get on stage or die one or the other. I will forever remember the first night I went on stage...I'll sum it up in three words for you...
...Scary As Hell
But I lived of course, and that's my point here for you. Learn to separate the Scary things from the Dangerous things. EVERY time you go to take a step and something's scary (substitute "uncomfortable", "unknown", or "unpredictable"...you know what I'm getting at) ask yourself that question.. "Is this dangerous, or just scary?" If it's just scary, take the step...scary things make you tough. If it's IS dangerous, then don't and rightly so, and that says nothing about your confidence, masculinity, or anything else.
Something else too, that Warlord made me think of, with his pirate comment. If you've never seen it, watch "Pirates of the Caribbean" If you have seen it, watch it again. A couple times. And for two hours, watch Johnny Depp stagger around the screen as Jack Sparrow. You're not looking at pickup lines, or hygiene, or anything you can SEE on the screen...you're watching a man who for two hours doesn't have the first clue what's going on or where he'll be in thirty seconds...but he's the only one that ever knows that. It was mentioned a few times early in the thread, and I'll say it again. Learn to fake it! Learn to adlib! Not permanently, just in between the spots where you know what you're doing. You'll find as time goes by, the spots where you know what you're doing get longer, and the spots in between get shorter. Trust me.
Ok Aaron, time for some seriousness. Lots of good advice here, your "toolbox" is probably fuller now than most of the people here before this thread started up. Think on that one for a minute...because You asked the question, a lot of people here have seen different ideas, strategies, and approaches. Your life stands to be better if you follow some or all of them, but so do some other people's here too, I guarantee it, whether anyone ever says so or not. Simply by asking, you've inadverdently enriched some other folks' lives...purty cool huh?
A little anecdote, you you have to read it
When I was in high school a good time ago, I was in the same boat you're in...not the same place on the boat, but in the boat. I'd get so nervous some days just walking into class that I'd skip classes...just couldn't walk into a room full of people, some of whom were even friends. I hated it, I knew it was silly...still couldn't do it. My senior year, I signed up for drama...I was going to make myself get on stage or die one or the other. I will forever remember the first night I went on stage...I'll sum it up in three words for you......Scary As Hell
But I lived of course, and that's my point here for you. Learn to separate the Scary things from the Dangerous things. EVERY time you go to take a step and something's scary (substitute "uncomfortable", "unknown", or "unpredictable"...you know what I'm getting at) ask yourself that question.. "Is this dangerous, or just scary?" If it's just scary, take the step...scary things make you tough. If it's IS dangerous, then don't and rightly so, and that says nothing about your confidence, masculinity, or anything else.
Something else too, that Warlord made me think of, with his pirate comment. If you've never seen it, watch "Pirates of the Caribbean" If you have seen it, watch it again. A couple times. And for two hours, watch Johnny Depp stagger around the screen as Jack Sparrow. You're not looking at pickup lines, or hygiene, or anything you can SEE on the screen...you're watching a man who for two hours doesn't have the first clue what's going on or where he'll be in thirty seconds...but he's the only one that ever knows that. It was mentioned a few times early in the thread, and I'll say it again. Learn to fake it! Learn to adlib! Not permanently, just in between the spots where you know what you're doing. You'll find as time goes by, the spots where you know what you're doing get longer, and the spots in between get shorter. Trust me.
Warrior Poet
Explorer
I think this is bad advice. I'm not a medical professional, and I don't even play one on TV, but this rings false. It's true not everything can be fixed medically, fine. But there are some really good physicians out there who can help people with all sorts of things, from corrective spinal surgery to counter scoliosis to chemical therapy that adjusts brain chemistry and endocrine system levels to battle certain kinds of depression.Spell said:
Sorry you don't trust doctors, but I think telling him to forget doctors is a bad move.
Warrior Poet
Aaron L
Hero
Aww, drinking wont be hard to stop. I've had about as much beer as I can stomach for at least a month. I really dont drink very much usually, honest. And I dont think there is a cheaper place to live than wear I am now
and dont worry about me not trustin doctors. I'd be in a wheelchair with paralyzed legs right now if it werent for doctors, so I tend to trust them usually. Plus they give me pills to let me pee.
Peeing is a good thing Ive learned. Not being able to pee is not so good.
and dont worry about me not trustin doctors. I'd be in a wheelchair with paralyzed legs right now if it werent for doctors, so I tend to trust them usually. Plus they give me pills to let me pee.
Peeing is a good thing Ive learned. Not being able to pee is not so good.
Last edited:
Desdichado
Hero
<Insert totally hilarious Tom Cruise joke here>Warrior Poet said:
Yeah, we're really lucky to live in an area and time where the medical profession is downright scary in the things it can do for us. Take advantage of that, dude!
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