Dumbest DM ever...

[derverdammte]

Okay, I know this kind of thread pops up all the time...but I had to tell y'all:

A friend of mine was once in a game where his character found the Wand of Orcus...on an orc! Seems the DM thought all orcs had them as treasure, you know, because it's the Wand of ORCus, right?

That's absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever heard, so I just thought I'd share.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Yep, I think that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard too. If you ever see this DM again, tell him.

 

[Squire James]

DM: "You are in a 10' x 10' room. You see an orc and a pie."

PC: "What? That stupid adventure again? We did that one last week! Twice!"

DM: "Okay, the orc picks up the pie. He looks like he's going to use it for a melee touch attack!"

PC: "Sigh. Let's get this over with. I let the orc hit me with the pie. Now what?"

DM: "Ah yes. That means you forgo your saving throw."

PC: "Against what? Did he poison the pie?"

DM: "No, the pie was an illusion covering the Wand of Orcus. According to my first edition conversion of the Wand, that means your character has been annhilated. Like the Sphere. No resurrection possible."

PC: "What?!"

DM: "So sorry. Well, I can't really think of any adventures suitable for level 1 characters except this one! What character are you bringing in next week?"

PC: "My resignation notice. Or a pie. I'm not sure which! Maybe both."

 

[Vaxalon]

Seems the DM thought all orcs had them as treasure, you know, because it's the Wand of ORCus, right?

::WHAMWHAMWHAM::

digdigdig

 

[derverdammte]

Well, based on everything I've seen, that really *is* the best "stupid DM" anecdote of all time...I certainly can't top it with my personal experience, and I've played with some *really* retarded DMs, including one who decided that, although all the characters in the party came from different regions, none of them actually *knew* anything about where they had come from. See, that would mean actual *research* on the DM's part.

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, it does sound like randcortin has a DM to rival the "Orcus" DM...

 

[Samnell]

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, it does sound like randcortin has a DM to rival the "Orcus" DM... [/B]

But dumb in a different, more malicious way.

 

[Selganor]

That reminds me of a "Palace of the Silver Princess" (old D&D) adventure I once ran...

A group of experienced (A)D&D-players found the summoning circle and thought it might be nice to call out for Bahamut...
After several unsuccessful (I don't know why, but I granted them a 1% chance that it MIGHT work) tries they got bored and tried to summon Orcus...

And guess what: He appeared !!

After a slight shock of the PCs (they were levels 2-3 at max) and some examination (OK, orcus certainly doesnt have an "detect low level" ability, but he should have the experience to dfind the group's relative power level) Orcus decided to "play a joke" on them...

He bowed his head and asked: "What is it that you wish for ?"

Some more shock from the group... but one (inspired by munchkinlike dreams) called out "give us you wand!"
Orcus (knowing that they wil never survive the contact with it) thought "what the heck" and threw it to the PCs...

Just then it dawned to them that they couldn't touch it and tried to dodge it... I was very nice and allowed everyone a Dex-check...

Orcus then asked if there was anything else and they thought to dismiss him... He vanished (invisibility or whatever) and had some fun with the group... levitating the wand around and zooming it through the room...
It all ended with them summoning him another time and making a deal with him... He would take his wand back and they would make themselves useful to him someday...

 

[Jondor_Battlehammer]

THAT was evil. As well as inspired.