Dwarves don't sell novels

[ssampier]

...
I think the elf fixation in the D&D novels actually has more to do with Anne Rice than Tolkien - TSR/WOTC elves are long-lived, gorgeous, somewhat alien, and often angst-ridden outsiders, just like Rice's vampires. Drizzt could easily be a drinking buddy of Lestat, if some extradimensional space were created to contain all of their angsty posing.

Drizzt = Goth!
*jaw drops* Why didn't I think of it before....

 

[ssampier]

*blink*

Halflings? Not sexy? Not even slinky, leather-clad, got-that-petite-hot-thing-going Lidda?

Someone's still thinking of hairfeet. Disappointing, really.

Done correctly, all the races are sexy. I can even think of sexy gnomes and half-orcs I've seen. Someone in the novel department needs to see more art.

Sexy half-orcs? I'd pay to see that.

*runs*

 

[Jolly Giant]

I can even think of sexy gnomes and half-orcs I've seen.

Where???

Sorry, I just had to take that sentence out of its context!

 

[Herobizkit]

I disagree. Put down a fantasy novel and pick up pretty much any other sort, and the sorts of people represented are much closer to dwarves than elves in fantasy.

The fact that what passes for fantasy novelists nowadays (especially in the shallow end of the pool where most game fiction is written) are attempting LotR necrophilia doesn't mean there aren't other ways to write dwarves that would speak to people.

I agree to a point. The Dwarves of Shadowrun have a much more colorful history than "fantasy" dwarves, for example. So do the Dwarves of Warcraft... I think.

Heh, the dwarf in my campaign is a barbarian/druid and behaves similarly, although his extended family are more like hatchet-flinging Hatfields and McCoys. (Hey, the Appalachians are mountains!)

Are you insinuating that your Dwarven Hatfields are legity because they're sort of from the mountains? No dwarven stereotyping there...

 

[Nyaricus]

Dwarfish: dwar-fish, adjective. stocky or round, with facial hair and a predisposition for beer and snack food.

Dwarves are STOUT, not FAT!

ah, I haven't thought of that in-joke in years

 

[Zander]

(I kinda think if WOTC wrote books as cool as Lord of the Rings, that claim would be quite questionable)

I kinda think that WotC haven't heard of the Lord of the Rings. What sort of genuine fan of fantasy would want robots (warforged) and psychic powers (psionics) in their novels and games? Tragically, D&D has been entrusted to sci-fi wannabes.

For all their shortcomings, at least Games Workshop have done one thing right: kept their fantasy (Warhammer) and science-fantasy (Warhammer 40K) settings separate. Perhaps that's why GW's dwarves are more highly regarded; because GW have genuine respect for fantasy tropes including those associates with dwarves.

 

[Infernal Teddy]

For a moment, I thought you were serious

 

[Zander]

For a moment, I thought you were serious

I was being sardonic about LotR but serious about the rest. WotC feels that they need to change fantasy to make D&D appeal to a younger audience. The trouble is, they don't know how. Instead of pushing the boundaries of fantasy as Col Pladoh did, they introduced or developed sci-fi elements. Their total disregard for the fantasy genre can be seen in the pig's ear they made of the gnome race and, to a lesser extent, the halfling. They can't make dwarves appealing because they don't understand fantasy.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Why would novels with dwarves sell? They're too taciturn. They don't generate any dialogue. They go, avenge their fallen clan (they must have been a million dwarven clans once - all of them eradicated by orcs or other critters, leaving only a single dwarf who then goes and avenges his kin), hardly ever saying a word. And writers can only come up with so many variations of "he didn't say a word" before they get repetitive. They'll run out of those variations halfway through chapter 1.

And then there's their adherence to tradition. Your average roleplayer can't identify with that. I know I can't. I know I'm annoyed as soon as anyone utters "when we were young, we..."

Roleplayers are rewarded for being creative. And with that I don't mean they get extra xp if they can carve a wooden figurine of their character. They have to think of new ways to win an encounter. But dwarves are bad at this sort of thing. They cleave to the old ways (never even thinking about how that could very well be the reason all those clans get wiped out).



And I might be cursed with a bad roleplaying community, but every single dwarf I've seen played so far was a min-maxed excuse to not roleplay. "I don't have to talk nice, I'm a dwarf. Cut the diplomacy crap, I bash'em with my axe." "I take all the gold. Hey, I'm a dwarf, I'm supposed to be greedy." The fact that they overcompensated in 3.5, making dwarves a LA+1 race without level adjustment, doesn't really help.



Elves, on the other hand, are creative. They're encouraged to think. That appeals to roleplayers. Plus, their weaknesses are actual drawbacks, not excuses to build a munckinized fighter/barbarian.

I can see why people want to play a beautiful, elegant character, be him rogue, wizard, or fighter. Antisocial, short, fat stout, stinking, bearded, greedy little bugger? That sounds like that "gaming vet" who always manages to make another twinked character who's even more broken than the last. You know, the guy noone invites into his game any more except his fellow "gaming vets".



And about the "other races not sexy": I beg your pardon?

Half-Orcs: Okay, they're meant to be not sexy. Their racial traits makes them dumb and uncharismatic. Their piggish orc features mean that they won't be pretty. The only thing that can work is a male half-orc with that animal magnetism. And that only works for gamer girls

Halflings: Lidda. I rest my case.

Seriously: Open a "Who likes Lidda?" thread and watch the number of replies climb faster than a drow ninja.

Gnomes: They're like dwarves without the excess stoutness and furry beardedness. Curious and inventive. That can work. Incidently, open your ravenloft campaign setting 3e, and look at the racial entry for gnomes.

And after that, read the write up they get in midnight.

The days of the "little fella with a big nose" are gone along with THAC0.

 

[Frostmarrow]

Larry Elmore has this to say about sexy halflings:

A thousand words