"Eat Your hearts out my fellow gamers" Vol 2

[Twowolves]

To show, however, that there is balance in the universe; as I was perusing the wares an obvious "D&D Geek" approached me and began regaling me with tales of what he considered the "best trap ever" (it involved guessing prime numbers on a wheel and arranging the wheel so it lined up with a calendar of days of the week (or somehting) do it wrong and a trapdoor opens that 'sends your guy to the bottom level of hell')

When I commented that that seemed a bit harsh, he ignored me entirely and began to describe another trap that involved the use of an enlarge spell and a Magic Mouth and some other damn thing to trap PCs in a room.

I had no real response to this other than "mmm-hmmm" and a continuing effort to mind my own business.

he then asked if I knew where to find a group to play in Vancouver or Victoria and I recommended meetup.com and started gathering up my purchases.

As he scooted around into my line of sight again, I was informed that "Gold Elves are the best race...not Dwarves like most people think" (?), and a treatise on the subject began to be lectured to me.

My wife intervened at this point with a fairly terse "Kid? This conversation is over. Beat it."

How sad is it that my wife is now bodyguarding me from the socially retarded this way? When did I go soft?

His closing, anguished cry of "You're buying up all the good books man!!!" was just the final...I don't even know what.

You sir have just summarized nearly every encounter I have whenever I enter a gaming store alone in almost any part of the US or Canada. I am not kidding, it happens to me so often, I've described it as my super-power: flypaper for freaks.

Somehow, the sight of me, minding my own business, perusing an RPG, acts as some sort of beacon, a virtual neon sign saying "Come bother me with your boring tales of geekdom".

 

[Talath]

You sir have just summarized nearly every encounter I have whenever I enter a gaming store alone in almost any part of the US or Canada. I am not kidding, it happens to me so often, I've described it as my super-power: flypaper for freaks.

Somehow, the sight of me, minding my own business, perusing an RPG, acts as some sort of beacon, a virtual neon sign saying "Come bother me with your boring tales of geekdom".

Your hair also smells nice.

Not that I would know.

No really, I don't.

 

[Agent Oracle]

Sorry billy, i got you beat.

I work for Random House. You know, the guys who distribute all WotC related materials?

Well, about once a month, Random House gives away free "hurt" books to their employees. In most cases, it's books so old that nobody wanted to buy them, or else books that got "damaged" at some point in their packaging.

In most cases, it's somethign as minor as a dog-ear in the middle of the book, or a tiny rip in the cover.

I got... Lemmie see if i remember.

1. Colossal Red Dragon (package had 2-inch rip)
1. Gargantuan Blue dragon (ditto)
1. Copy "Complete Scoundrel" (tiny dent in spine)
4 boosters: D&D minis (assorted sets, slightly crushed, figures unharmed)
3 boosters Star Wars minis (starships starter packs, also slightly crushed, figures also unharmed.)

All free.

Yeah. Working for the publisher has it's perks.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Sorry billy, i got you beat.

I work for Random House. You know, the guys who distribute all WotC related materials?

Well, about once a month, Random House gives away free "hurt" books to their employees. In most cases, it's books so old that nobody wanted to buy them, or else books that got "damaged" at some point in their packaging.

In most cases, it's somethign as minor as a dog-ear in the middle of the book, or a tiny rip in the cover.

I got... Lemmie see if i remember.

1. Colossal Red Dragon (package had 2-inch rip)
1. Gargantuan Blue dragon (ditto)
1. Copy "Complete Scoundrel" (tiny dent in spine)
4 boosters: D&D minis (assorted sets, slightly crushed, figures unharmed)
3 boosters Star Wars minis (starships starter packs, also slightly crushed, figures also unharmed.)

All free.

Yeah. Working for the publisher has it's perks.

Wanna trade any of that for a copy of Libris Mortis?

 

[Teflon Billy]

Your hair also smells nice.

Not that I would know.

No really, I don't.

"Kid? this conversation is over. Beat it."

 

[SpiderMonkey]

"Kid? this conversation is over. Beat it."

The sad thing is, I'm probably going to end most of my phone conversations with this quote for the next week or so. Thankfully, I have desensitized friends.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Her is a pic of me (left ) and my darling wife...she talks, people listen. The End.

 

[Mark]

Her is a pic of me (left ) and my darling wife...she talks, people listen. The End.

Wanna trade any of that for a copy of Libris Mortis?

 

[Teflon Billy]

Wanna trade any of that for a copy of Libris Mortis?

What? are you kidding me? I have two copies.

Kid? This conversation etc. etc. etc....

 

[Kaodi]

"Kid"ding aside, that is an awesome picture of you two. Power Word: Photoshop is a great spell.