Elven Flatulence

[Nifft]

Either that, or we'll see a "Methane Elf" subrace in a future Forgotten Realms suppliment.

Fire Elf
Identical to a half red dragon elf, except if you're using the optional Facing rules from UA, the "breath weapon" affects only those behind the Fire Elf. Also, those who fail their Reflex save are nauseated for 1d4 rounds.

-- N

 

[Gez]

Once got a vocal invitation to an "elf art competition". Well, I should have asked for a written offer, because it turned out to be an elf fart competition.

 

[Impeesa]

I guess that was a typo. I think I meant I have one word for you. Beano.

I kind of figured that, too. It's just not funny any more if I have to explain it.

--Impeesa--

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Either that, or we'll see a "Methane Elf" subrace in a future Forgotten Realms suppliment.

Nah. Doesn't fit into the system. You need a metal and a heavenly body.

So I say "Brass Elf", also called "Nebula Elf"

- +2 Con, -2 Cha: Their own flatulence has hardened their body against everything, but it it's bad for social interaction of any kind.
- Immunity to any spell with the word "cloud" in the name.
- Stinking cloud 1/day.
- +2 on perform (wind instrument) checks. They can use two wind instruments at once, one between each pair of cheeks.
- free weapon proficiency with the war fan.

 

[Gnarlo]

Listen to the cast commentary on ROTK during the drinking game scene; Gimli confirms that elves fart like diesel engines.

Pretty much explains why their robes and hair always seem to be blowing in the wind.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

After learning about Joseph Pujol

I've decided I HAVE to make up an Elven Bard based on this guy.

I can have max ranks in Perform (fart) (didn't know that was an option, did ya?).

That way, whenever we go into battle, my bard can Inspire Courage by droping-trow, mooning the enemy & playing the Conan The Barbarian theme from his buttocks.

Inspire Competence? No Problem, just listen as the Rocky Theme begins eminating from my nether cheecks.

Countersoung? What could possibly by lounder than my classically trained intestinal artistic rendition of the greatest works of John Phillip Susa?

Fascinate? Barry White coming out of my a**. Really; Big Black Man's voice coming out of skinny elf's butt, who WOULDN'T be able to do anything but stare?

I mean I really, REALLY have to make this character. I think its an obsession now. Phillipe the Fartiste Elven Bard MUST LIVE!

 

[Angel Tarragon]

"Elven Windmaster" PrC, that builds off a "natural winds" feat that elves can take that lets elves once per day release a cloud of natural gas, it has a 50% chance of healing all plant creatures within 10 ft of 1d8 HP, and a 50% chance of acting like a stinking cloud centered on the Elf (elf subject to the effect as well). The PrC lets you do it more times per day, get more area of effect, and choose from more potential effects (a 10th level ability of Cloudkill, appearing adjacent to you maybe?)

ROFLOL!!!!!

 

[Selenim]

That would explain why the drow are so busy killing each other. The air can get a bit stale down there

 

[Kae'Yoss]

That would explain why the drow are so busy killing each other. The air can get a bit stale down there

That would also explain why those drow that abandon the Night Below to live in the Night Above (i.e. those following Eilistraee and Vhaeraun) have stopped backstabbing each other.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

That would explain why the drow are so busy killing each other. The air can get a bit stale down there

Hehehehe!