EN World Short Story Smackdown - FINAL: Berandor vs Piratecat - The Judgment Is In!

[Eeralai]

[sblock=Notes on my story]

Whew! That was fun. It came in on the long side, so I hope it is worth the words. If not, apologies!

think that's about it for now. Best of luck to everyone!

[/sblock]

[sblock] Good use of language. I particularly liked "Home was a trinary star system in a galaxy of misery." That was excellent imagery. I think the story could roll at a better clip with some editing, but enjoyed it. [/sblock]

 

[Dlsharrock]

1: Edit
2: Edit
3: Edit

Who was it said stories aren't written, they're rewritten?
Well, whoever it was, they knew their bananas.

 

[Ycore Rixle]

[sblock] Good use of language. I particularly liked "Home was a trinary star system in a galaxy of misery." That was excellent imagery. I think the story could roll at a better clip with some editing, but enjoyed it. [/sblock]

[sblock] Thanks! I agree about the editing. I've been accused of writing too tersely in the past, though, so I wanted to err on the side of giving good weight. But yeah, editing would be good.

I enjoyed "Jenna" too. I liked the Holly Golightly modern/ancient juxtapositions that were a common theme, and they highlighted how sex is both modern and ancient. I thought there could have been a few more plot points in the middle, but that's a good sort of criticism in that it implies I'd like to spend more time with the characters and the world. Good stuff.

[/sblock]

 

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

Ok, this is just creepy. On my Yahoo page today was a link to this article: Monkeys Genetically Modified to Have Huntington's. Time to head for the hills.

 

[Berandor]

I call dibs on using this in the next round!

 

[Berandor]

For Piratecat:

[sblock]
Ok, damned near perfect. Not a lot to pick at, here. You keep getting better, and that's kinda scary. Hopefully Orchid Blossom will bump you off so I won't face a rematch from last year.
[/sblock]

I saw that! Just you wait!

 

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

I saw that! Just you wait!

Not an intentional slight; I forgot who was playing who.

 

[Dlsharrock]

Fight fight fight!

 

[Berandor]

Not an intentional slight; I forgot who was playing who.

You say that now... ;-)

 

[awayfarer]

Who was it said stories aren't written, they're rewritten?
Well, whoever it was, they knew their bananas.

Dunno, but it sounds familiar.

On the other side of the fence there's the adage (I'm paraphrasing), "You never finish a work, you just abandon it." That one's helped me immensely. There comes a point where one needs to stop fretting over every last detail and just put up the goods.

In any event...

Berandor, I still haven't read yours. I just got back from visiting my folks for the weekend and I've been trying not to monopolize their internet. I have a lot of catching up to do here.

Edit: Fixed a couple of typos. Removed an uneccessary apostraphe and used it to hold up a liqour store.