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[ENboards Boston Event] Feng Shui: Six in the Chamber

KidCthulhu

First Post
Tsunami said:
Bump!

I just looked up the pronounciation of Feng Shui. I always thought it was pronounced like Fang Shewy, but it turns out you say it as Fung Shway.

Hm...

I had a Social Studies teacher in Jr. High who taught us to pronouce this by singing "Shui down upon the Swanee River". That kind of thing sticks with you.
 

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Dr Midnight

Explorer
Chai Tong jumps out of the helicopter’s wide open door. The cable zips out of the winch as he falls with arms outstretched. Chai presses a button sewn into a fingerless glove on his right hand, and the winch stops unreeling. Chai swoops past the crow’s nest on the ship, snatching Carl into the air. Carl points, and the helicopter follows his lead, whooshing down towards the water. Meanwhile, Damon is racing on foot towards the docks. He jumps into a boat- a racing boat. One of the long cigarette boats that is prone to blasting along the water perched on its back end. Chef Tso is closing in on the junk in his jet ski.
Chai catches a glint of light from a pair of sunglasses inside the junk.

CHAI TONG
He has spotted us. He will attempt to flee.

CARL
Pfft! In that piece of crap?
The junk shudders, and a roar comes from its engine. A souped-up racing boat explodes from its bow, leaving the wooden shell to sink behind it. Fast Tony Tang is driving the boat, smiling around a lit cigarette. Several mooks on the boat with him are blasting off shots at Chef Tso and the Carl-Chai cat toy dangling a hundred feet away. Around Tang’s boat race six men on jet skis. They drive hard, straight for Chef Tso in his Godzilla suit. Damon is coming up fast behind Tso, and he levels his gun on the windshield’s edge to take some of the mooks out. He concentrates, aims… and the dashboard explodes. A bullet has hit it from behind. Damon whirls to see he’s being followed himself, by Sancho and an immense mountain of a man sitting in the driver’s seat with a military-style haircut… that is bright pink.

DAMON
My good pal Sancho… and Big Gregor. Well, it’s about &#$%ing time for some closure.

They begin a dangerous chase through the crowded harbor, dodging dinghies and alarmed yacht owners. Blasting off shots behind him, Damon fails to notice the ramp racing towards him- it’s here for the professional water ski competition. He curses and puts both hands on the wheel. Meanwhile, Chef Tso cuts a hard right and begins to lead the following mooks through the nautical traffic. He waits until the right moment, and jerks the controls. The jet ski turns in a quick 180-degree turn. The mooks don’t have time to stop, but they manage to dodge him. He clicks the button he uses to roast hot dogs, and a gout of flame flares out of the Godzilla mouth, cooking mooks as they rocket past him. Several of them scream and fall into the water.

Back in the air, Cuddly Jack is guiding the helicopter right over Fast Tony’s boat. The two dangerous vehicles are shooting through the harbor at a breakneck pace. Jack doesn’t see the other helicopter looming nearby- the WLLY traffic copter is perilously nearby. Jack looks up and manages to dodge the helicopter just in time. He shouts into the microphone.

CUDDLY JACK
Watch where yer yankin’ that thing, Willy, y’almost got clipped!

Carl drops into the boat below him and grapples with the mooks that surround him. They look confident, but they cannot compete with his janitor’s fury. He rips rapid-fire punches, lunges, and kicks in a precise arc around him. Mooks fly from him, flailing into the water. Carl turns to attack Fast Tony Tang. He smiles and lashes out with a wicked punch- which Tang dodges. Tang lets his weight drop straight down, his body twisting into a curled kneel. His gun arm whips forward, and he smiles back at Carl. Carl is shot in the chest. He flies backwards off the boat into the water.

FAST TONY
Nice shootin’ ya, kid.

Tony’s gloating is interrupted by a lightning-fast kick to the face from above him, followed by another to the wrist of his gun hand. His silver-plated .9 mm flies into the water. The legs wrap around his neck and lock. Chai Tong looks down at him.

CHAI TONG
You are arrogant and slow. This is why I will beat you.

FAST TONY
You shouldn’t have interfered, old man- Now you’re due for a broken face.

They begin to grapple, executing quick and strong kung-fu strikes on each other that are blocked and countered. That one is sitting on the other’s shoulders with his legs locked around his neck makes the sight all the more impressive. Cuddly Jack looks down from above and laughs.

CUDDLY JACK
Now THAT’S FUNNY. What say we make things a bit more dangerous for Mr. Tang?

CHEN YAU
Go right ahead. I’m going to go down and help out.

Chen cracks a Foster’s and hands it to Jack.

CUDDLY JACK
Thanks mate- cheers!

Chen pulls both guns, hooks one leg around the winch-line, and leans forward. He slides down the line towards the two combatants as Cuddly Jack pulls back on the control stick. The helicopter begins to ascend quickly, leaving the pilotless boat beneath them.

Damon’s racing boat shoots off the ramp, clearing a great deal of open air. His boat blazes down towards a schooner with incredible speed. He turns the wheel to the left and amazingly, the large rudder on the back of the boat catches enough resistance on the air around it to push the boat slightly to the left. The boat misses the mast and shoots straight through the sail to land perfectly in the water beyond. Big Gregor and Sancho are close behind. Sancho’s excellent marksmanship is taking pieces out of Damon’s boat constantly. Damon realizes he can’t win this way, and decides to do something very dangerous. Going at approximately 110 miles per hour, he cranks the wheel all the way to the left. The boat isn’t made for turns, much less turns at that speed, and it turns sideways with the violence of a broken ankle. Its velocity carries it into the air, sideways, and the boat flips. It’s doing a sideways barrel-roll. The sudden resistance of the air has slowed the boat compared to the boat behind it. Gregor and Sancho drive in slow motion (but at great speed) beneath the flipping boat above them. Sancho shoots up. Damon shoots down whenever the boat lets him face downward. The gangsters’ boat is peppered with bullets but no one is hurt. They drive off and begin to turn. Damon’s boat crashes into splinters on contact with the water. He swims free and tries to think of a plan. All the while, Gregor and Sancho are driving towards him, leveling guns. Damon cannot survive if he does not think quickly. He dives beneath the surface and pumps his legs. Bullets pierce the blackness around him, and the boat passes overhead. He swims for the surface and sees what he was looking for- the boat they’re using was stolen from the water-skiing competition, and the boat is trailing a tow rope. He wraps a hand around the bar and is jerked forward. He climbs up the rope, hand over hand, towards the boat. The villains in the boat don’t notice him. Damon braces himself against the back of the boat, holds on tight, and slips a loop of tow rope around the rotor’s blades. RRRNNKK!!! The rope chokes the engine, pitching Gregor and Sancho head over head into the water. Damon’s grip is good, but the boat has stopped so quickly that it falls apart from the stress. Damon and the boat’s pieces tumble around in the harbor before beginning to sink. In the water, Damon sees Sancho and Gregor swimming towards him. He knows that he’s done them some damage, but he cannot win against them both without incredible luck, and- that harpoon gun, sinking past him! He reaches out for it and grabs it, leveling it on Sancho, who’s aiming for him. They shoot at the same time. The bullet blurs past Damon in the water, but Damon’s aim was true. The thin harpoon goes into his mouth and lodges through the back of his neck. His eyes are wild and he’s dying, but he’s alive. With a harpoon half-shot through his head, he aims again for a final shot at his killer. Just then, the harpoon’s time-release spring-loaded barbs expand from its head. Sancho’s head explodes in a sickening crimson bloom. Damon kicks for the surface again. When he reaches it, he takes a great gasp of air. He’s then smashed by a huge fist. Big Gregor is pummeling him and he’s helpless.

Chen Yau slides down the line, firing at Fast Tony. Tony kicks his foot out and his shoe flies upwards from the force. It whips up and clocks Chen in the face. He plummets from the line towards the water. Tommy, above, grabs a parachute and leaps from the helicopter. He forms a streamlined diving shape and rockets straight downward for Chen. He reaches him maybe fifty feet from the surface of the water, then rips the parachute free. The sudden jerk-stop comes five feet from the surface. Fast Tony’s pilotless boat is driving straight towards Tommy, who’s holding Chen in his arms. Tommy shouts in surprise, then puts his legs out. Faster than the eye can follow, he runs up the boat’s bow and lands in the back. He grabs the wheel and turns it back to where he can do some good.

Tony and Chai Tong are fighting furiously, now several hundred feet above the water. Tony brings both legs up in an acrobatic motion, kicking Chai in the chest- hard. Chai’s legs lose their grip, and Tony begins to fall gracefully down towards the water. Chai grits his teeth and releases the button on his palm. The winch unwinds freely, and they plummet. Chai catches up to Tony and wraps his legs right back around the surprised crime lord’s head.

TONY TANG
What the hell?!?

CHAI TONG
You are not escaping.

Back up in the helicopter’s cockpit, Cuddly Jack has finished his beer. He crunches it against his forehead. When he does, it jostles some fluids in his brain, and he suddenly remembers something. We cut to a flashback scene. In this black and white flashback scene, Jack is back in the hospital, sitting in the waiting room. He’s visibly bored, and flips through a pile of magazines.

CUDDLY JACK
What we got here to poke through? Ehh… Cosmo… Vegetarian Weekly… Ugh, Lifetime Magazine… Hello, what’s this?

The camera sees him hold up a copy of ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST. The cover story is ANGULAR MARVELS: HONG KONG’S POINTIEST BUILDINGS. He doesn’t know why, but he opens the magazine and begins to read. The flashback ends, and in the cockpit, Jack grins.

CUDDLY JACK
Hang on, Chai, we’re takin’ a brief detour!

The helicopter veers off. Meanwhile, Big Gregor is pounding the hell out of Damon.

BIG GREGOR
You should KNOW not to fuss with affairs that are too big for you, little one! You have interfered, and now you will die as I crush your skull with one hand! I… what?

Big Gregor looks behind him, towards the sound of an approaching boat. Tommy Lo is driving it. Chen Yau is standing in the back. As they drive by, Chen throws the anchor at Gregor. It’s one of the small hinged anchors with two sharp triangular flaps that catch into the seabed. The two points flash towards Gregor- who catches the anchor in both hands, inches from his face. He holds it as the boat races past them.

BIG GREGOR
Hah! I may be big, but I’m not slow, and I’m DEFINITELY not stu---

The boat reaches the end of the anchor line’s slack, and the line snaps taut. The triangular flaps fit snugly around Gregor’s jawbone, and his head is ripped cleanly from his neck. Damon begins to laugh crazily, then passes out in the water. After turning the boat around, Tommy lifts him gently into the boat. Tommy turns his face to the north and shields his eyes from the sun as he watches his master fly into the distance, locked in mortal combat with Fast Tony.

Jack has tilted the copter so hard that he doesn’t really notice when a small object slides from one of the seats in the back and plummets down towards the two combatants. One of Chen Yau’s service pistols is tumbling downward. Chai Tong looks up and sees what Cuddly Jack is piloting the helicopter towards. Up ahead, there’s a building under construction. There is an enormous crane lifting the finishing piece to the top of the structure. The finishing piece is a hundred-foot long, thin steel spire. It’s hanging horizontally from the crane’s cable. It looks like the icepick of the gods. It’s turning slowly in the wind. The point glints in the sun. Fast Tony snaps his arm out and grabs the falling gun from the air. He turns it towards Chai Tong’s head with a bloody grin. The grin turns to surprise as the spire punctures his gut. He screams and slides all the way to the cable’s clasp. He grabs the Chai releases his grip on the villain and flies up into the air, waving down at Fast Tony Tang. Tang’s weight unbalances the spire and it tilts forward. He tries to hold the smooth metal, but his blood and viscera has sufficiently lubricated it. He slides off the end of the point with a squeak and falls three hundred feet down, into a pile of loosely stacked drywall. With a crash, he lands. The camera closes in on his face in the swirling dust. His eyes open and he pulls in a choking breath. He’s alive! He’s alive, and maybe he’s even got enough strength to get to a car…

CHINK!!

Above, in slow motion, the cable hook holding the spire in the air snaps from the sudden disturbance. It falls, turning downward. The bloody point turns to the ground. The camera rockets down towards Tang’s right eye, who is screaming. The spire pierces his head and sinks twenty feet into the hard-packed dirt before stopping. Tony Tang is dead. Cuddly Jack laughs in his helicopter and turns it back around to land on the grass below.

Cut to the ground, where Willy Wallaby is dressed in his suit, addressing a camera. He’s the weatherman, but as he’s the only man on the scene during this catastrophic shootout, he’s tackled the opportunity to jump ahead in the broadcasting game.

WILLY
Ron Lozzi here, reporting for Channel 10 action news. I’m on the scene here at the Hong Kong Marina, where a pleasant morning has turned into a scene of hellish violence. It’s unclear what’s happened here, but there’s nothing but chaos as far as…

VOICE (from behind)
You wanna know what happened, do ya, Willy?

Oh no. Willy’s face freezes in horror as he recognizes the voice. He grabbed in a friendly bear hug as a massive arm is placed over his trembling shoulders. Cuddly Jack smiles at the cameras and begins to talk.

CUDDLY JACK
What, we on telly? Nice, Willy! Well, to tell the story correct, I’ll have to begin with how ol’ Willy and I met.

Fade to black. Roll upbeat rock music and outtakes.

Credits:

SIX IN THE CHAMBER

CAST

CHAI TONG: Piratecat

CHEN YAU: Dareoon

“CUDDLY” JACK STARKEY: Chronosome

TOMMY “WOK” LO: Umbran

CARL ROGERS: DaveLozzi

DAMON EARLY: KidCthulu

CHEF WILLY WOO: Gospog

DIRECTOR: Dr. Midnight- For Justice!
 
Last edited:

Boss

First Post
Heh, what a great game, and glad to see how it ended Dr. Midnight! I have to say, the godzilla roasting jet skiing mooks, and the entire aquarium scene are beyond compare. I love Feng Shui, because whatever you can think of can, and will, happen. Right now, I am working on a new scenario - Big Trouble in Little China II - Jack's Back! Thank you Dr. Midnight (and players) for reminding me how good this game really is.
 


Chronosome

First Post
Great stuff, mate. ;)

I remember we spent another 40 minutes or so post-game
dreaming up "outtakes" for the session, but I can't remember any
right now...
 


Horacio

LostInBrittany
Supporter
I have some questions about the upcoming Feng Shui - Six in the Chamber II: Hong Kong is sinking!:

When are you going to film it?
Are you going to use the same actors?

:D
 


Carnifex

First Post
*Claps enthusiastically as the lights turn back up to normal and people begin to file out of the cinema*

Very cool. Wonder if they're going to make a Six in the Chamber 2? Hope they keep some of the same actors, and get another good story line...
 


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