maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
awayfarer said:
Aren't there some kind of tricks to avoid that?
ENW Short Story Smackdown Summer 07 (Winner Announced)
- Thread starter Rodrigo Istalindir
- Start date
Aren't there some kind of tricks to avoid that?
awayfarer said:
I'm sure it's actually quite natural, especially for first-time judges. If a judge should happen to fire off their verdict before we're ready, we should encourage him to try again for the next round and take his time. Type slower if he feels that he's coming to the end of the paragraph too quickly and we should praise what he did accomplish so that he doesn't feel so awkward for the next round. Cause if he ride him for it, it'll just take him that much longer to get started on the next round.
If we're lucky, by the final round, he'll be so good that we'll ask him to come back time and time again to judge us. And, if not, we'll just have to tell him that it didn't work out and we found an older, more experienced judge who can give us what we need.
maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
EP said:
LOL!
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
R1M1 Judgement
Awayfarer vs. Tadk
Rodrigo Istalindir
Awayfarer - "Courtroom Drama"
This story had a nice little setup. The situation is fairly mundane, and just as the reader gets settled in, things take a nice step to the wierd. The opening sentence -- "I made a mistake" -- jumpstarts things nicely. There is some really good writing here, with some good use of detail. The reference to the color of the men's room and the mental state of the narrator fits perfectly, true and appropriate and consistent. The bits of color with the other inhabitants of the bathroom is also very well done, with the right note of humor, skirting the edge of gross but not crossing the line. The inner monologue hits the right blend of banal and panicked. The line "The mind suddenly becomes alert and picks up everything about everything." is more than just a casual observation, it informs the protagonist's voice throughout the story. Very well done. "Leaving the bench to take up the throne' got a nice laugh, as well.
The old canard is that 'drama is easy; comedy is hard'. In Ceramic DM, 'setup is easy, payoff is hard'. We see that here. There are sorts of things alluded to that never get realized. What was the mistake? The courtroom drama has its own set of expectations; the surprise reveal is not only expected but almost mandatory. Instead, it gets glossed over. The box as oracle has little meaning without it as well.
Is the 'hidden truth' is that Dave is really crazy, and that Jim and the box and the angel are just delusions? Jim the devil on the one shoulder, the angel on the right? Were that the case, it would really need the setup to include that Dave knew the guy was innocent to play fair, I think. Coming at the end seems rushed and capricious.
The writing style was pretty good, and consistent throughout. Very nice attention to detail, and a good job of drawing characters that seem real without a lot of exposition or interaction, which is hard. My only real criticism is the pacing within the text. The paragraphs should have been broken up a little more. The ebb and flow of the text is important, and while they do convey some sense of Dave's panic, it would have been more effective with some strategic breaks.
Picture use:
The courtroom picture is a hard one, in that it ties at least one element of the story to a specific location. Here, it sets the stage for the entire story, even though it appears only briefly. The juggling box is enigmatic, clever but disposable in that almost any oddball object could have served the same purpose. The angel is better, in that it's unexpected and gives the story another potential interpretation. Also, the added details (argyle socks and detachable wings) is clever -- nothing that is included in the picture itself, but nothing the picture explicitly refutes, either. Overall, a decent job with what I thought was a hard set of pictures.
tadk -- "Across the worlds, turning a tune"
Here we have the musings of an otherwordly creature, one with the ability to spin the fates of men. The mood is surreal, dreamy, capturing the emotional and spiritual distance and ennui that Andra must feel after being so long away from her own. I appreciated taking the road less traveled -- the story is not about guilt or innocence, but about the ripple effect of justice.
I don't often 'get' tadk's stuff. I appreciate the wonderful use of language, the moods he sets, the way he teases with such wonderful phrases and images, but often I'm left at the end feeling like I didn't know what I'd just read. This time, I think, things were a little more concrete, but the story lacked the polish and flow that I expected. There were some awkward phrasings that jarred, especially in contrast. Compare "Instead of a single life, single line of choices made and decisions come to, there are a myriad of worlds, an infinite selection of lives lived all in each tick of the clock." to "Where she comes from, where her life and people lived at", for example.
Picture use is pretty good. The box as a tool of fate (Fate?) makes good use of the 'hands' portion, and is enhanced by the inclusion of the television and the contrast of active and passive. Like with Awayfarer's story, the courtroom carries a weight beyond the scene, making more of the picture than it provided. The angel as protagonist is a good choice, as it cements it as integral to the story.
This is a close one. In the end, though, tadk's story had a deeper resonance with me. Had Awayfarer 'sold' his resolution a little better, things would have swung the other way, but my decision for this match goes to tadk.
maxfieldjadenfox
You'll have to forgive me, I didn't sleep well. OK, that's not strictly true. From midnight to 3:30AM I slept just fine. But then my elderly golden retriever/great pyrenees, Samwise, began to whimper. Then he started to bark and finally to howl. The kind of howl he usually saves for an ambulance siren. I staggered, bleary eyed and cranky, out of my bedroom and down the hall, pulling on my robe as I went. Sam, bred to guard sheep from wolves (and chase sticks, though we rarely speak of that) was in the corner of the living room, wedged between the horse skull and the cd towers. He was quivering.
"Dude, what is your damage? It's like, three o'clock in the morning," I scolded, but then I heard it.
It started off as a low moan, ramping up to a cry and then a full blown shriek. It was the most horrifying sound I've ever heard, so of course I threw the door open to see what it was. (You know those horror movies, well, all of them, really, where the girl runs out into the forest/down into the basement/away from any possible help alone in the dark in high heels? It was sort of like that.)
On my doorstep was a dwarf. He was probably about four feet tall and maybe five feet wide. His beard was done up in two thick braids and his hair in one more. He was balancing something in a plain brown wrapper against his thigh while simultaneously trying to plug his ears with his fingers. The noise coming from the package was deafening. I saw the dwarfs lips moving, but I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I motioned for him to come in. Sam shot me a look of incredulity and then took off for my bedroom, tail between his legs.
The dwarf hefted the package over his shoulder and came in, grimacing. The sound was even worse inside, bouncing off the walls, burrowing into my brain. "Stop it!" I shouted. Suddenly it went silent.
"Guess I have the right house." the dwarf said, placing the package on the floor, which sagged dangerously under its weight. He ripped off the wrapping and I saw the most magnificent hammer! I remembered my late night foray onto Craig's list, looking for something to do Lady Death's job in the competition.
"Wow." I said.
The dwarf looked impatient.
"That'll be 300 gold."
Uh oh. "Um, will you take a check?"
So. Here is the first judgement with my screaming war hammer. I dragged it to the corner of my art studio since Sam can't bear to be anywhere near it. Think I ruptured something doing it. I have no idea how I'm going to lift it, guess I'll have to trust to the magicks. When I walk by it, it says something in dwarvish. I think it may be crush. Or squish. Anyway, I'm interested to see what it will do.
Awayfarer has written an interesting story that takes place in a courtroom and a public restroom. I think the picture use is pretty original. The box and the angel play pretty much the same role in the story, albeit on opposite sides. I’d like to have had the sense that the box was more evil. I know that’s what Awayfarer is driving at, but I wanted more of an indication of just how black this thing’s heart really is. The tone was strong and I loved the homage to MacBeth “Who’d have thought the man would have so much piss in him?” The bathroom scene went on a little long for me though, and while I’m not offended by potty humor, I don’t know that setting this in the restroom stall with the accompanying judge relieving himself scene actually did much to enhance the story. I was a bit underwhelmed by the ending, which felt rushed and didn’t quite work for me, but all in all I think this is a good piece with decent picture use.
Tadk’s style always appeals to me. I think he consistently sets up a dreamlike mood and this piece is no exception. Even in the few paragraphs he wrote, he managed to refer to the pictures in a way that suggests that they would have been used in a meaningful way later in the story. Sadly, he was unable to complete the piece and the strong start isn’t enough to carry him through to the next round.
The war hammer begins to scream as I finish Tadk’s entry. I hadn’t thought about the reality attached to the act of using the thing. I’m a pacifist. Hell, I was a vegan for years and I still won’t eat mammals. How can I justify... Jeez, the noise is deafening. In amongst the screaming is that word again. Squish, crunch, whatever… I can't stand the noise any more. Just have to stop it somehow. I reach for the hammer and it flies into my hand. It feels light as a feather, even though I know it probably weighs several hundred pounds… Crunch.
Taddy, we hardly knew ye.
Herremann the Wise
There are a lot of good things to say about both of these entries in my opinion. There are also several issues to raise. Bereft of my usual judging scythe, I have but a keyboard in front of me to do the job.
awayfarer has really punched out a good start with lots of questions to be answered. The momentum built in the first half of this story was quite impressive in fact. The casual observations being bounced around had me in the pocket… until our angel appears (in the next cubicle). This is where the story bogged itself in a one-sided moral dilemma. Unfortunately, I was not convinced. Not about the appearance of the angel (this is CDM after all), but the fact that her rebuttal to the main character’s diatribe was missing. The expected clash and conflict were missing. As such, the story that started out so well sort of petered out at the end. The resolution was one-sided.
I think the hardest thing to do as a short story writer is to be disciplined with your ending. A three day limit dramatically exacerbates this situation meaning that such discipline is doubly important. I think it is fair to say that most stories will be judged on how well they finish rather than how well they start. A real punchy ending be it expected or unexpected is the hallmark of a tight entry. If you write your story allowing the ebb and flow to take you to an unknown destination, you can end up relying on serendipity to make the ending have enough impact.
In awayfarer’s case, I think the finish is more a closing rather than an ending. There’s enough there to get a nod of the head, but I think you can understand where I’m coming from. With 20/20 hindsight, I think that conflict between the box and the angel would have been fascinating (and would have also scored real well in terms of picture-use). Something that would have left us hanging as to which way the prosecutor was going to go. Leave his decision announced, unannounced or perhaps just hinted at. Or maybe play out the final scene in court rather than in the men’s room. As difficult as it is, these are the things you need to think about and deal with before you start writing.
However, much easier said than done.
In terms of picture use, I thought what you did was great. That damn box had me stuffed when I saw this image collection together. To turn it into an “eight ball” like device was brilliant. Even the juggling like a tumbling windows/mac hourglass was spot on! The court room scene framed the entire story (double points for strong use) while the angel... as previously stated was OK but could have been much better.
Congratulations at the very least for a solid first round effort that started excellently.
tadk as usual gives me his usual headache when writing in EN World’s short story competition. The phrasing, diction and feel are fantastic. In this case, I would not use the word sublime but still, I was impressed. I could start to see where you were taking this, and all I can say is I wish you had have finished it to your satisafaction. Unfortunately, it sounds like several curve balls have been thrown your way..
In terms of picture use, I found the use of the angel picture very interesting although once again, I struggled for the driving theme. How was she connected to the shadows and dark ones or was she alien to their game? I could sense her frustration, cramped into her dank “living” quarters and in this, I’ll reiterate my appreciation of your poetic prose. You capture the ever so slightly downtrodden look in her eyes very well.
As for the other images… well, the courtroom could obviously have been expanded and the juggling box… struggled to make an appearance. Perhaps the jumbling between moments of so many destinies entwined is possible but realistically, I don’t think this picture was dealt with.
As such, I will award my nomination for awayfarer to continue in the competition, but with a note of appreciation to tadk. I always enjoy reading your stuff.
Awayfarer advances 2-1.
Awayfarer vs. Tadk
Rodrigo Istalindir
Awayfarer - "Courtroom Drama"
This story had a nice little setup. The situation is fairly mundane, and just as the reader gets settled in, things take a nice step to the wierd. The opening sentence -- "I made a mistake" -- jumpstarts things nicely. There is some really good writing here, with some good use of detail. The reference to the color of the men's room and the mental state of the narrator fits perfectly, true and appropriate and consistent. The bits of color with the other inhabitants of the bathroom is also very well done, with the right note of humor, skirting the edge of gross but not crossing the line. The inner monologue hits the right blend of banal and panicked. The line "The mind suddenly becomes alert and picks up everything about everything." is more than just a casual observation, it informs the protagonist's voice throughout the story. Very well done. "Leaving the bench to take up the throne' got a nice laugh, as well.
The old canard is that 'drama is easy; comedy is hard'. In Ceramic DM, 'setup is easy, payoff is hard'. We see that here. There are sorts of things alluded to that never get realized. What was the mistake? The courtroom drama has its own set of expectations; the surprise reveal is not only expected but almost mandatory. Instead, it gets glossed over. The box as oracle has little meaning without it as well.
Is the 'hidden truth' is that Dave is really crazy, and that Jim and the box and the angel are just delusions? Jim the devil on the one shoulder, the angel on the right? Were that the case, it would really need the setup to include that Dave knew the guy was innocent to play fair, I think. Coming at the end seems rushed and capricious.
The writing style was pretty good, and consistent throughout. Very nice attention to detail, and a good job of drawing characters that seem real without a lot of exposition or interaction, which is hard. My only real criticism is the pacing within the text. The paragraphs should have been broken up a little more. The ebb and flow of the text is important, and while they do convey some sense of Dave's panic, it would have been more effective with some strategic breaks.
Picture use:
The courtroom picture is a hard one, in that it ties at least one element of the story to a specific location. Here, it sets the stage for the entire story, even though it appears only briefly. The juggling box is enigmatic, clever but disposable in that almost any oddball object could have served the same purpose. The angel is better, in that it's unexpected and gives the story another potential interpretation. Also, the added details (argyle socks and detachable wings) is clever -- nothing that is included in the picture itself, but nothing the picture explicitly refutes, either. Overall, a decent job with what I thought was a hard set of pictures.
tadk -- "Across the worlds, turning a tune"
Here we have the musings of an otherwordly creature, one with the ability to spin the fates of men. The mood is surreal, dreamy, capturing the emotional and spiritual distance and ennui that Andra must feel after being so long away from her own. I appreciated taking the road less traveled -- the story is not about guilt or innocence, but about the ripple effect of justice.
I don't often 'get' tadk's stuff. I appreciate the wonderful use of language, the moods he sets, the way he teases with such wonderful phrases and images, but often I'm left at the end feeling like I didn't know what I'd just read. This time, I think, things were a little more concrete, but the story lacked the polish and flow that I expected. There were some awkward phrasings that jarred, especially in contrast. Compare "Instead of a single life, single line of choices made and decisions come to, there are a myriad of worlds, an infinite selection of lives lived all in each tick of the clock." to "Where she comes from, where her life and people lived at", for example.
Picture use is pretty good. The box as a tool of fate (Fate?) makes good use of the 'hands' portion, and is enhanced by the inclusion of the television and the contrast of active and passive. Like with Awayfarer's story, the courtroom carries a weight beyond the scene, making more of the picture than it provided. The angel as protagonist is a good choice, as it cements it as integral to the story.
This is a close one. In the end, though, tadk's story had a deeper resonance with me. Had Awayfarer 'sold' his resolution a little better, things would have swung the other way, but my decision for this match goes to tadk.
maxfieldjadenfox
You'll have to forgive me, I didn't sleep well. OK, that's not strictly true. From midnight to 3:30AM I slept just fine. But then my elderly golden retriever/great pyrenees, Samwise, began to whimper. Then he started to bark and finally to howl. The kind of howl he usually saves for an ambulance siren. I staggered, bleary eyed and cranky, out of my bedroom and down the hall, pulling on my robe as I went. Sam, bred to guard sheep from wolves (and chase sticks, though we rarely speak of that) was in the corner of the living room, wedged between the horse skull and the cd towers. He was quivering.
"Dude, what is your damage? It's like, three o'clock in the morning," I scolded, but then I heard it.
It started off as a low moan, ramping up to a cry and then a full blown shriek. It was the most horrifying sound I've ever heard, so of course I threw the door open to see what it was. (You know those horror movies, well, all of them, really, where the girl runs out into the forest/down into the basement/away from any possible help alone in the dark in high heels? It was sort of like that.)
On my doorstep was a dwarf. He was probably about four feet tall and maybe five feet wide. His beard was done up in two thick braids and his hair in one more. He was balancing something in a plain brown wrapper against his thigh while simultaneously trying to plug his ears with his fingers. The noise coming from the package was deafening. I saw the dwarfs lips moving, but I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I motioned for him to come in. Sam shot me a look of incredulity and then took off for my bedroom, tail between his legs.
The dwarf hefted the package over his shoulder and came in, grimacing. The sound was even worse inside, bouncing off the walls, burrowing into my brain. "Stop it!" I shouted. Suddenly it went silent.
"Guess I have the right house." the dwarf said, placing the package on the floor, which sagged dangerously under its weight. He ripped off the wrapping and I saw the most magnificent hammer! I remembered my late night foray onto Craig's list, looking for something to do Lady Death's job in the competition.
"Wow." I said.
The dwarf looked impatient.
"That'll be 300 gold."
Uh oh. "Um, will you take a check?"
So. Here is the first judgement with my screaming war hammer. I dragged it to the corner of my art studio since Sam can't bear to be anywhere near it. Think I ruptured something doing it. I have no idea how I'm going to lift it, guess I'll have to trust to the magicks. When I walk by it, it says something in dwarvish. I think it may be crush. Or squish. Anyway, I'm interested to see what it will do.
Awayfarer has written an interesting story that takes place in a courtroom and a public restroom. I think the picture use is pretty original. The box and the angel play pretty much the same role in the story, albeit on opposite sides. I’d like to have had the sense that the box was more evil. I know that’s what Awayfarer is driving at, but I wanted more of an indication of just how black this thing’s heart really is. The tone was strong and I loved the homage to MacBeth “Who’d have thought the man would have so much piss in him?” The bathroom scene went on a little long for me though, and while I’m not offended by potty humor, I don’t know that setting this in the restroom stall with the accompanying judge relieving himself scene actually did much to enhance the story. I was a bit underwhelmed by the ending, which felt rushed and didn’t quite work for me, but all in all I think this is a good piece with decent picture use.
Tadk’s style always appeals to me. I think he consistently sets up a dreamlike mood and this piece is no exception. Even in the few paragraphs he wrote, he managed to refer to the pictures in a way that suggests that they would have been used in a meaningful way later in the story. Sadly, he was unable to complete the piece and the strong start isn’t enough to carry him through to the next round.
The war hammer begins to scream as I finish Tadk’s entry. I hadn’t thought about the reality attached to the act of using the thing. I’m a pacifist. Hell, I was a vegan for years and I still won’t eat mammals. How can I justify... Jeez, the noise is deafening. In amongst the screaming is that word again. Squish, crunch, whatever… I can't stand the noise any more. Just have to stop it somehow. I reach for the hammer and it flies into my hand. It feels light as a feather, even though I know it probably weighs several hundred pounds… Crunch.
Taddy, we hardly knew ye.
Herremann the Wise
There are a lot of good things to say about both of these entries in my opinion. There are also several issues to raise. Bereft of my usual judging scythe, I have but a keyboard in front of me to do the job.
awayfarer has really punched out a good start with lots of questions to be answered. The momentum built in the first half of this story was quite impressive in fact. The casual observations being bounced around had me in the pocket… until our angel appears (in the next cubicle). This is where the story bogged itself in a one-sided moral dilemma. Unfortunately, I was not convinced. Not about the appearance of the angel (this is CDM after all), but the fact that her rebuttal to the main character’s diatribe was missing. The expected clash and conflict were missing. As such, the story that started out so well sort of petered out at the end. The resolution was one-sided.
I think the hardest thing to do as a short story writer is to be disciplined with your ending. A three day limit dramatically exacerbates this situation meaning that such discipline is doubly important. I think it is fair to say that most stories will be judged on how well they finish rather than how well they start. A real punchy ending be it expected or unexpected is the hallmark of a tight entry. If you write your story allowing the ebb and flow to take you to an unknown destination, you can end up relying on serendipity to make the ending have enough impact.
In awayfarer’s case, I think the finish is more a closing rather than an ending. There’s enough there to get a nod of the head, but I think you can understand where I’m coming from. With 20/20 hindsight, I think that conflict between the box and the angel would have been fascinating (and would have also scored real well in terms of picture-use). Something that would have left us hanging as to which way the prosecutor was going to go. Leave his decision announced, unannounced or perhaps just hinted at. Or maybe play out the final scene in court rather than in the men’s room. As difficult as it is, these are the things you need to think about and deal with before you start writing.
However, much easier said than done.
In terms of picture use, I thought what you did was great. That damn box had me stuffed when I saw this image collection together. To turn it into an “eight ball” like device was brilliant. Even the juggling like a tumbling windows/mac hourglass was spot on! The court room scene framed the entire story (double points for strong use) while the angel... as previously stated was OK but could have been much better.
Congratulations at the very least for a solid first round effort that started excellently.
tadk as usual gives me his usual headache when writing in EN World’s short story competition. The phrasing, diction and feel are fantastic. In this case, I would not use the word sublime but still, I was impressed. I could start to see where you were taking this, and all I can say is I wish you had have finished it to your satisafaction. Unfortunately, it sounds like several curve balls have been thrown your way..
In terms of picture use, I found the use of the angel picture very interesting although once again, I struggled for the driving theme. How was she connected to the shadows and dark ones or was she alien to their game? I could sense her frustration, cramped into her dank “living” quarters and in this, I’ll reiterate my appreciation of your poetic prose. You capture the ever so slightly downtrodden look in her eyes very well.
As for the other images… well, the courtroom could obviously have been expanded and the juggling box… struggled to make an appearance. Perhaps the jumbling between moments of so many destinies entwined is possible but realistically, I don’t think this picture was dealt with.
As such, I will award my nomination for awayfarer to continue in the competition, but with a note of appreciation to tadk. I always enjoy reading your stuff.
Awayfarer advances 2-1.
awayfarer
First Post
Woo-hoo!
Is it okay for me to say boo-yah? I'll refrain from it if thats the sort of thing that can get a fella disqualified.
I wanted to save my comments until after the judging. For the most part it seems like the upsides/downsides mentioned reflect a few things I thought of after it was finished.
Overall: I think "Courtroom Drama" feels a bit short and rushed. The reason for this is that it is a bit short and it was rushed. I think I went to bed at around 8:00 pm the Thursday the pics were posted and I didn't get a chance to see them until probably a little after 7:00 pm. Friday wasn't much better. I started it but managed half a paragraph at best before Merkuri and I went to Connecticut for the weekend. I banged out the story on Saturday, which was good because we spent all day Sunday either at my grandfathers 80th birthday party or traveling back home. In short, I effectively only had one day to write.
Potty Humor: I don't normally go in for dirty jokes or potty-oriented comedy and thats one reason why I added some here. The bathroom just felt like the right setting for this. There are connotations of helplessness and shame associated with dropping one's drawers and letting nature take its course and to me, that fit Dave's mindset when he headed in there.
Good & Evil: Admittedly, this could have been done better. The box doesn't seem quite evil enough and the angel drops the issue at hand a little too quickly. I blame the time crunch.
Pictures: I would have thought that the box would be the biggest problem but strangely enough, the angel proved to be the fly in the ointment. I felt pigeonholed into using a courtroom as the setting, but that's clearly my own fault as Tad didn't have the same problem.
Is it okay for me to say boo-yah? I'll refrain from it if thats the sort of thing that can get a fella disqualified.
I wanted to save my comments until after the judging. For the most part it seems like the upsides/downsides mentioned reflect a few things I thought of after it was finished.
Overall: I think "Courtroom Drama" feels a bit short and rushed. The reason for this is that it is a bit short and it was rushed. I think I went to bed at around 8:00 pm the Thursday the pics were posted and I didn't get a chance to see them until probably a little after 7:00 pm. Friday wasn't much better. I started it but managed half a paragraph at best before Merkuri and I went to Connecticut for the weekend. I banged out the story on Saturday, which was good because we spent all day Sunday either at my grandfathers 80th birthday party or traveling back home. In short, I effectively only had one day to write.
Potty Humor: I don't normally go in for dirty jokes or potty-oriented comedy and thats one reason why I added some here. The bathroom just felt like the right setting for this. There are connotations of helplessness and shame associated with dropping one's drawers and letting nature take its course and to me, that fit Dave's mindset when he headed in there.
Good & Evil: Admittedly, this could have been done better. The box doesn't seem quite evil enough and the angel drops the issue at hand a little too quickly. I blame the time crunch.
Pictures: I would have thought that the box would be the biggest problem but strangely enough, the angel proved to be the fly in the ointment. I felt pigeonholed into using a courtroom as the setting, but that's clearly my own fault as Tad didn't have the same problem.
tadk
Explorer
wow
wow
I did a lot better in the judging than I expected to
I completely did not finish my story and I garnered that many good comments
Thank you to all judges and commentators for the kind responses
I as always take each comment serious and to the heart
To my competitor I wish you the utter best in the next round
Again thanks to all
Good Luck
Have Fun
Enjoy
Tad
wow
I did a lot better in the judging than I expected to
I completely did not finish my story and I garnered that many good comments
Thank you to all judges and commentators for the kind responses
I as always take each comment serious and to the heart
To my competitor I wish you the utter best in the next round
Again thanks to all
Good Luck
Have Fun
Enjoy
Tad
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
I must say I was disappointed that the angel nipple did not figure more prominently in the stories. If this keeps up, we will be forced to return to a no-nudity competition.
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
That'd be an awesome name for a Bond girl.
"My name is Bond, James Bond. And you are?"
"They call me 'Nipples Akimbo'"
"Yes, I'm sure they do."
"My name is Bond, James Bond. And you are?"
"They call me 'Nipples Akimbo'"
"Yes, I'm sure they do."
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