Eulogize your favorite slaughtered sacred cow.

[Eldragon]

Friends, Gamers, geeks, lend me your ears;
I come to bury 3e, not to praise it.
The evil of any edition lives after it;
The good is oft interred with its bones;
So let it be with 3e. The noble designers
Hath told you 3e was broken:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath 3e answer'd it.
Here, under leave of WotC and the rest--
For WotC is an honourable corporation;
So are all the designers, all honourable men--
Come I to speak in 3e's funeral.
It was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But the designers says it was broken;
And WotC is an honourable corporation.
3e hath brought many joyous nights in dank basements
With many an orc slain and princess rescued:
Did in this 3e seem broken?
When with a character concept you were so inspired, 3e did abide:
The meaning of broken should be more closely defined:
Yet WotC says 3e was broken;
And WotC is an honourable corporation.
You all have rolled dozens of characters if not more,
With profession, craft, and knowledge skills,
Each character having his own alignment : was this broken?
Yet WotC says 3e was broken;
And, sure, it is an honourable corporation.
I speak not to disprove what WotC spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love 3e once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for it?
O Player base! thou art fleeting to a new edition,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with 3e,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

 

[Wolfspider]

By the way, for those handful of posters in this thread who apparently don't know, eulogy literally means "good words." A eulogy is (according to dictionary.com):

1. a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, esp. a set oration in honor of a deceased person.
2. high praise or commendation.

Ahhh, threadcrapping.

By the way, Eldragon, that was positively brilliant.

 

[Wicht]

May I lament the passing of Dragon and Dungeon alike.

I recently sat my boys down and showed them my Dragon Magazines, and Dungeon as well, explaining what they were and their history. I gave them permission to read them but I was quite depressed to have to tell them that they are no longer being published.

Though I refuse the 4e rules and remain true to the heritage of the game I am so fond of,... Though i continue to roll for hitpoints and treasure,... Though I keep the nine alignments in my game,... Though I refuse to recognize a swarm of bugs as a Lamia and the succubi as a devil,... though my Forgotten Realm avoids the Spellplague and my Great Wheel stays unbroken,... I cannot bring back the only two magazine's I ever bothered to subscribe to.

 

[Wicht]

Eldragon, that was beautiful.

Though I can only hope that the rumors of the demise of 3e among the fanbase have been greatly exaggerated.

 

[Ydars]

Goodbye to high level wizards; more powerful than any others,

Farewell to all familiars; my faithful monsterous brothers.

Adieu to Halaster Blackcloak; and Khelban Blackstaff too,

And potions of Cure Critical wounds; my god we quaffed a few!

No-more to instant kills; As DM; you'll be missed.

And tiny halfing tricksters; you always got me pissed.

Aufidersehn to Hexor, and other evil gods.

So-long to mighty empires; and gnomes who would wear clogs!

Farewell to beards on females, of dwarven warrior ilk,

And to the Elven warriors who liked to dress in silk.

The Eladrins have stole your thunder,

And now you look like clods.

But 4E is the future

And it shall please the Gods.

 

[Eldragon]

Eldragon, that was beautiful.

Though I can only hope that the rumors of the demise of 3e among the fanbase have been greatly exaggerated.

Thanks. When in doubt, rip-off Shakespeare.

 

[Ydars]

I quite agree Sir! There is no-one quite like the Bard. Henry V is simply brilliant, as are many of his other works.


"And gentleman in England now abed, shall think themselves accursed, and hold their manhood cheap, while any speaks, that fought with us upon St Crispins Day!" King Henry V

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

I have a hard time finding what I will _really_ miss. If 3E would somehow die without D&D 4, I would have a lot to speak, but it's not...

So, here are the things I will miss:
- Good bye, easy Class or Prestige Class Creation. Gone are they days where thinking up 10 to 20 distinct class features would have been enough to create a new class.
- Good bye, Druid and Shifter. I had a lot of fun with you. You might return later, but still, you're gone for now.
- Good bye, Barbarian. Your anger and violence will be missed, even if you promise to return.
- Good bye, Bard. You might not really have been all that useful, but you were always fun to see in play. I'll miss your +3 Inspire Courage bonus to attacks and damage at high levels. I hope I'll see you again soon, but for the time being, I'll miss you.
- Good bye, Vancian Spellcasting. We never liked each other all that much, but I think we could respect each other.
- Good bye, 9 alignments. Maybe I didn't always understand what you were trying to tell me about a character, but at least you gave me an excuse for killing people and taking their stuff.
- Good bye, Delver. I always had a special place for you in my heart. You were one of the funny shapes for a Shifter in 3.0...
- Good bye, Phantom Fungus. I still remember the invisible, awakened Phantom Fungus Barbarian that spring-attacked my Dragonstar Players...
- Good bye, Arcana Evolved. I barely got to knew you as a player, only as a DM. I think I would have had a lot of fun with you.
- Good bye, Iron Heroes. I barely got to knew you as a player, only as a DM. I think I would have had a lot of fun with you.
- Good bye, pun-pun. I suppose I'll meat another incarnation of you eventually...
- Good bye, 8 years of D&D 3E. I had a lot of fun with you, in spite or because of your quirks. You were the first game that I "mastered", whose quirks and strength I was able to understand. At the beginning, I didn't really get you - hit points, Vancian Magic, all that was stupid for a guy starting his RPG career with Shadowrun. But for some reason, I began to appreciate a lot of your aspects, and can only applaud your attempts to achieve game balance and engaging rules.

 

[Minicol]

Ah ... D&D ... I will miss you.

 

[Hierax]

Goodbye Monsters that were more than a lame 3-legged "One Trick Pony"

e.g., I bet Orcus wishes he was dead now : (