Experience Point: Speaking Publicly Without Dying

I see various articles here and there about what people fear most and it seems many people report fearing “Public Speaking” more than they fear “Death”. I’m not sure how much credence to put into those studies but clearly this is something that causes people a great deal of anxiety. Millions of people have tried overcoming this fear by doing everything from signing up for Toastmasters, getting coaching about it, hypnosis, and picturing the audience in their underwear (or naked - I can never remember which you’re supposed to do).

I guess I can understand the concept even though it’s not one of my fears. You’re standing in front of a bunch of people and under a lot of scrutiny. They are all paying attention to you and any mistake you make will be seen by all. What if it is being recorded on video? Could those mistakes follow you around for the rest of your life?

I wonder if some of you feel your palms getting sweaty just reading that.

My theory is that the answer is probably yes but also that it’s happening to fewer of you, percentage-wise, than it would in the general population. I believe gaming has conditioned us to speak in front of others more often and more fearlessly than most folks. That’s weird, isn’t it, considering how gamers tend to have a reputation for being socially awkward?

I think my gaming hobby, especially my GMing experience, has prepared me to talk pretty easily in front of a group of people. Sure, most of the time I’m GMing I’m doing it in front of three or four of my closest friends for over 20 years. That should be easy and it is.

But I also run games at conventions and game days and such where I might not know everybody there. I still don’t think twice when I’m describing something to them, telling them the monster is attacking them, or asking them to make a saving throw. It never crosses my mind to be nervous in those circumstances.

When thinking about this column I took a step back to ask why that was. I mean I understand I’m a confident person. But am I just arrogant and fearless for no reason? (*sigh* I realize that I’ve set myself up for some scathing commentary. Just keep it Grandma Friendly and let me have it if you must)

I think a good deal of my confidence comes from a few factors: Preparedness, creativity, and the knowledge that my audience wants me to succeed.

I don’t prepare a whole lot for my games on paper but I spend hours and hours thinking about them between sessions. I almost exclusively run homebrew settings and adventures so I know the material backwards and forwards since I created it. I give consideration not just to what I want to present but also to whom I’m presenting it. I feel confident in the notion that I’ve prepared a game my players will enjoy participating in.

My creativity comes in handy not just when I’m generating the content but also when I’m presenting it. I go in knowing that my plan will not survive contact with the players. But I’ll take whatever they throw back at me and run with it. In fact I KNOW that the contributions from the players which take things off track will generally make the game better, not worse.

My players know it too (I hope). So they are going to feel free to toss ideas into the ring, ask me questions, and generally riff off of whatever I throw at them. They are there to have fun just as much as I am so they aren’t looking to criticize any of my minor screw ups. Instead they are looking for the big successes. If I make any huge screw ups (and it happens from time to time) then I acknowledge them, apologize, and move on. Therefore they trust and forgive me and can get back to enjoying the game.

Like I said, knowledge of these things is so intrinsic to me that I don’t even think about it. I just go out there and do my GMing thing and have a blast. The same goes for when I need to address a group in a social or business context. I know what I’m going to say. I know I’ll take any questions or feedback from the audience in stride, knowing they are generating even more good content for the rest of the audience. I know they want to hear me and get the most out of what I say. I therefore see no reason to fear.

Does public speaking strike fear into your very soul? Has your attitude toward it changed over time while you’ve been a gamer?

 

[Ketherian]

I don't do much public speaking as I avoid it when I can. Still, I'm told I'm good at it. And I found, if I'm prepared, I can actual enjoy some of it.

I don't know if GM'ing helped my public speaking, but learning how to speak publicly has definitely helped my GM'ing. I find I'm more confident before a group (of players or otherwise), and I understand what I need to have prepared to keep my confidence up.

 

[WhimsyTheFae]

I am another one whose GMing was aided by improved public speaking skills, rather than the other way around. I plan to continue honing my public speaking skills, as with those come better run games, as well.

 

[airwalkrr]

Talk about what you know and don't deviate into what you don't know. This is a cardinal rule of my profession (scientific research). When you are presenting research you are often facing an audience of experts who are all, in their own field, far more knowledgeable about some aspect of the subject matter than you are. Acknowledge that and acknowledge when you legitimately do not know the answer to a question. But do talk about what you do know and what you have experienced. The most common mistake for a presenter to make is to start talking about something they have limited knowledge about. Sometimes you don't have enough to talk for very long, so don't. You might be presenting 12 slides and someone else might have 45. You might not need to go into as much detail as the other person. All you need to do is say what needs to be said. Short and sweet presentations are often the best because they drive the point home quickly and simply and don't deviate into other fields which, while they may be relevant to the research, you don't have experience with. The beginning of knowledge is admitting that you do not know the answer to a question.

Edit: You know on a gaming-related note, I learned this lesson about talking about what you don't understand first from gaming. I was young and running a tournament adventure in a convention for a group of people I did not know that was set in a gaming world I did not know much about. It was Living City, which I had never played. I knew a bit about the Forgotten Realms at the time and I had had a few hours to read the adventure beforehand, but it was a high-level adventure with lots of complex political stuff woven in which had been developed over years. I kept making the mistake of referring to the Seldarine as a group of elders when a player pointed out to me it was actually the elven gods. What I should have done is tell the truth and say, "You're probably right. I was handed this just a few hours ago, don't know much about the setting and I am doing the best I can. Thanks for the correction." But instead, I stammered on about how the adventure wasn't written clearly or something to that effect. I tried to pretend like I knew what was going on in the adventure but in truth I was a judging a table as a favor to the head GM which had been thrown together at the last minute and I was out of my element. I should have stuck to what I did know, skimming over the political stuff and running some kick-ass battles (I did have a solid mastery of the rules of the game). If I had done that, I would have performed better. But whenever I am tempted to stray into territories unknown while speaking in public, I always think back to that because quite frankly it was incredibly embarrassing for me at the time.

 

[Thotas]

I'm not a fan of public speaking, but they did require it of us in my high school. I got decent grades, but was always glad to be done with it.

Lately, I haven't had much chance to game with the way my life is running, but I've been buying materials because I enjoy at least reading them and it means I'll be ready if one day I do get the chance to get back into it. The manager of the store I shop at asked me if I wanted to run a Pathfinder game for International Table Top Day. So I ran a game for a bunch of strangers less than a month ago, and I don't remember feeling any nerves over it ... although it might just have been that any anxiety was trumped by enthusiasm to get to play again!

 

[Nellisir]

I've dealt with at least 3 kinds of "public" speaking: DMing, talking to clients about a job, and presenting projects for review while getting my master's degree. Proficiency in the first two did not help in the third, although they did help with the q&a portion.
I'm very comfortable as the DM. I'm in control, and what I say is right.
With the client, don't show fear. Be confident.

Presenting for review, my mind blanks. I've stood up, done a 10-minute presentation, and only afterwards realized I had notes in my hand the whole time. The best route I've found is to present a slide, elaborate on what the slide illustrates (do NOT read the slide), and move on.

DMing HAS honed my ability to react on the fly. My most successful presentation was probably my last, when I got up (having no idea what I was going to say), looked at two of the most intimidating professors in the department, and said "This project didn't work. I lost my core concept." I ran through what had gone wrong (and what had gone right), what mistakes I had made and how I could have improved on them, and successfully moved the critique from "what you did wrong" to "how you could have done better".

 

[JamesonCourage]

If I'm going to be speaking publicly, it's never a problem. I don't do it professionally, but I've given the toast as the best man at a wedding, been in plays, been awarded at assemblies of about a thousand people in school, etc.

I think what made a big difference was being homeschooled until 6th grade, which was my first year of public school. Up to that point, I had been in some plays (church, private groups, etc.), but I never really liked it. In 6th grade, I was publicly around and interacting with people a lot more than I was used to, and that helped me get used to speaking to that scary, faceless crowd. By 7th grade, I was the "leader" of two distinct groups of friends that didn't interact much with one another (outside of our GATE classes).

By 11th grade, I was well-known (but not popular), and really didn't mind doing things that made me look "foolish" or "weird" to other people. I just didn't care what they thought about me, but I did absolutely love seeing their reactions. This led me to do a ton of odd activities at school (not talking for three days, wearing oven mitts at school the entire day, bringing a stuffed animal dog to school and petting it, wearing a sigh on my shirt that said "Papa" on it, etc.). While I really wouldn't do that kind of thing now, I definitely loved watching the reactions people would have at it, including both the students and the teachers.

By the time I was 21, I went to parties a lot. I don't drink / use drugs, but I ended up being the focus of the party a few times. I don't mind attention at all. It's just not scary to me. I still liked messing with people, too, to see how they react, but in more subtle ways (introducing my friends by incorrect names, checking my ID to get my name when people asked my name, etc.). But I integrated very easily into all the subgroups at the time, even if I didn't like a lot of the people (drunken 21-year-olds).

Now, at 27, I don't go to parties very often at all, but I go to small gatherings for talks, and usually with strangers (I'm invited by other friends). And I don't mind talking to all of them at once, or even debating all of them at once (on philosophy, politics, religion, etc.). It's just not scary anymore. When I was younger, I was shy. Not anymore. No, now I've come to appreciate the attention, when I want it. I direct it, I control it. I experiment with it, even.

Has GMing helped with this? Probably, but not with fear. It's probably helped me with pacing, reading people in certain ways (exploring subjects that people show an interest in), and some other areas. But, overall, I think it's all secondary to my personality, and my background prior to when I started running games.

On an interesting note, though, I think that playing in RPGs definitely helped me. They weren't official, but my older brother would run games for me where I'd RP someone, but we'd use Legos, Micro Machines, etc. I went by "Ted" as a kid, but that wasn't my real first name. My real name is James, and when I had to come up with a name for myself for these games, I was "James" (I wasn't the most inventive person in all respects as a kid). And, "James" was invariably a badass. He was the hero, the leader, whether we were playing a Lego fantasy game or with Star Wars Micro Machines. So, when "Ted" enrolled in public school, my real name, "James", was called out. I answered, and that's what all my friends called me. And I think that me being "James" (and "James" being a badass) really helped me slip into a role where that's genuinely how I viewed myself, to a degree. Even at 11 years old, I was "James" now, and he rocked.

Interesting discussion. I honestly do think that playing those games helped me, but I don't know how universal it is. It took a name swap at 11 years old, for example. But that's okay. It worked out well for me, and now I really don't mind how much (or little) attention I get. If it's a lot of attention, then cool. Let's see what I can learn from it. As always, play what you like

 

[Janx]

I don't feel gaming has helped me with public speaking, to be honest. But then, I find Public Speaking and Interpersonal Skills to be really different things.

I agree with Umbran's point here. Doing a presentation is completely different than running a D&D game for my friends.

In general, the audience is there to shutup and watch. So, for the most part, you can just get up there and give your speech or presentation. At most, you'll be asked questions, to which you're supposed to know the answer, or come up with something by starting with "That's a good question", or saying you don't know, but you will get them an answer after the presentation.

It's really not hard to work in that context.

It might be a bit scarier in a hostile environment (hecklers, etc), but once you've got a few handy tricks for dealing with that, it's under control or the secret service is pulling you out of there anyway.