Experience Point: Speaking Publicly Without Dying

I see various articles here and there about what people fear most and it seems many people report fearing “Public Speaking” more than they fear “Death”. I’m not sure how much credence to put into those studies but clearly this is something that causes people a great deal of anxiety. Millions of people have tried overcoming this fear by doing everything from signing up for Toastmasters, getting coaching about it, hypnosis, and picturing the audience in their underwear (or naked - I can never remember which you’re supposed to do).

I guess I can understand the concept even though it’s not one of my fears. You’re standing in front of a bunch of people and under a lot of scrutiny. They are all paying attention to you and any mistake you make will be seen by all. What if it is being recorded on video? Could those mistakes follow you around for the rest of your life?

I wonder if some of you feel your palms getting sweaty just reading that.

My theory is that the answer is probably yes but also that it’s happening to fewer of you, percentage-wise, than it would in the general population. I believe gaming has conditioned us to speak in front of others more often and more fearlessly than most folks. That’s weird, isn’t it, considering how gamers tend to have a reputation for being socially awkward?

I think my gaming hobby, especially my GMing experience, has prepared me to talk pretty easily in front of a group of people. Sure, most of the time I’m GMing I’m doing it in front of three or four of my closest friends for over 20 years. That should be easy and it is.

But I also run games at conventions and game days and such where I might not know everybody there. I still don’t think twice when I’m describing something to them, telling them the monster is attacking them, or asking them to make a saving throw. It never crosses my mind to be nervous in those circumstances.

When thinking about this column I took a step back to ask why that was. I mean I understand I’m a confident person. But am I just arrogant and fearless for no reason? (*sigh* I realize that I’ve set myself up for some scathing commentary. Just keep it Grandma Friendly and let me have it if you must)

I think a good deal of my confidence comes from a few factors: Preparedness, creativity, and the knowledge that my audience wants me to succeed.

I don’t prepare a whole lot for my games on paper but I spend hours and hours thinking about them between sessions. I almost exclusively run homebrew settings and adventures so I know the material backwards and forwards since I created it. I give consideration not just to what I want to present but also to whom I’m presenting it. I feel confident in the notion that I’ve prepared a game my players will enjoy participating in.

My creativity comes in handy not just when I’m generating the content but also when I’m presenting it. I go in knowing that my plan will not survive contact with the players. But I’ll take whatever they throw back at me and run with it. In fact I KNOW that the contributions from the players which take things off track will generally make the game better, not worse.

My players know it too (I hope). So they are going to feel free to toss ideas into the ring, ask me questions, and generally riff off of whatever I throw at them. They are there to have fun just as much as I am so they aren’t looking to criticize any of my minor screw ups. Instead they are looking for the big successes. If I make any huge screw ups (and it happens from time to time) then I acknowledge them, apologize, and move on. Therefore they trust and forgive me and can get back to enjoying the game.

Like I said, knowledge of these things is so intrinsic to me that I don’t even think about it. I just go out there and do my GMing thing and have a blast. The same goes for when I need to address a group in a social or business context. I know what I’m going to say. I know I’ll take any questions or feedback from the audience in stride, knowing they are generating even more good content for the rest of the audience. I know they want to hear me and get the most out of what I say. I therefore see no reason to fear.

Does public speaking strike fear into your very soul? Has your attitude toward it changed over time while you’ve been a gamer?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Have I mentioned lately that I'm a lawyer?

Thank goodness I rarely have to appear in Court. My first- and last!- solo appearance in criminal court was a disaster.

I was volunteering in the Public Defender's office, and had a script given to me by my mentor. My client was the defendant was a highly motivated 1st time drug offender trying to get into one of the very few remaining slots in the state's rehab program, as opposed to some stiff jail time, so he was pleading guilty as part of a plea agreement that would get him there. Everything went according to plan, even my part, but then came the point in the trial in which the defendant got to speak his piece before the judge passed sentence.

He pointed out that the illegal drug with which he had been charged with possessing by the state was not, in fact, the illegal drug that was actually in his possession when he was arrested, and he told us what it really was. A quick look at the arrest documents showed he was 100% honest- the 2 drugs in question had extremely similar names.

This guy was motivated.

Well, that's reversible error. You can't legally convict someone for possession of a drug they didn't posess. Do it, and you're just going to cost the state a lot of money.

So the ADA had to redraft the document. He did so, and we appeared before Judge #2. Again, everything was hunky-dory unitl the end. This judge had heard the story of what had happened earlier, so before passing sentence, he whipped out the PDR and looked up the name of the drug listed in the redrafted document. And he looked. And he looked. The ADA had combined the names of the 2 drugs, charging my client with possession of something that does not exist.

A 15 minute plead-out had now taken the entire morning as the ADA went to redraft his document one more time. This time, he copied it grade-school style: letter by letter, with me looking over his shoulder.

But now we have to wait until the afternoon sessions.

We returned to court to face Judge #3. He was pissed off because his entire morning docket flaked because of a little rainstorm, and all wanted to be handled on his afternoon docket. One attorney who had been practicing before him for yeeeears sauntered in and asked him where he was on the docket, and was told he'd be last if he didn't shut the ***** up.

15 seconds later, my case was called as the first of the overcrowded afternoon docket. YAY!

That's when I discovered my script has gone missing.

By the time I get up there, I have heard the Judge cussing about how F-ed up the case is- the worst in his personal experience on the bench- and I'm getting jittery. I'm having trouble remembering how things go. Judge#3 is not amused.

Seeing me flounder, the ADA decided to try to make up for his mistakes by feeding me my lines sotto vocelike a Stage Manager at a theater rehearsal. I was sweating. I was leaning on the witness stand's rail so I don't fall over.

That's when my client- God bless him- shuffled over in his orange TXDOC jumpsuit and leg shackles, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "Its OK, you're doin' a good job!"

Because of that brief role-reversal, I knew at that moment I should never represent a criminal defendant again.

Yes, I can- and do- laugh about it now.

 

[Scrivener of Doom]

(snip) Because of that brief role-reversal, I knew at that moment I should never represent a criminal defendant again. (snip)

I think that was your subconscious protecting you!

 

[Lindeloef]

My DMing doesn't help me with this at all. Just reading the 1st Post in this thread and me envision talking in public makes me uncomfortable and my heart race...

 

[Jhaelen]

Does public speaking strike fear into your very soul? Has your attitude toward it changed over time while you’ve been a gamer?

Not as much as it used to, and, yes, I actually think my experience at DMing has helped me. As long as my audience is relatively small, say one or two dozen max., I'm no longer nervous at all. It's a bit different, if I'm on a stage and there's a couple of hundreds or more people watching me, though. I think it has something to do with not being able to make eye-contact and requiring voice amplification. For similar reasons I don't like phone calls: I find it too difficult to read my interlocutor.

If the audience is small, it's just like when I'm DMing: I'm not actually following any fixed script; I like to improvise and interact with my audience. This works very well as long as the topic of my presentation is something I'm both interested and knowledgable in. I try to avoid assignments that don't lie in my area of expertise. I've also learned how to deal with desinterested or even hostile individuals.

So, yes, I really think, that being a long-time DM has given me confidence in such situations.

 

[amerigoV]

While I enjoy public speaking I do not think gaming/gming helped with that. In smaller groups (consulting with a small number of client representatives) I believe GMing has helped me read the room and keep a good pace.

 

[Piratecat]

DMing has definitely helped me. It gives you a reminder that you can make stuff up on the fly, interest people, and direct the conversation.

 

[Scrivener of Doom]

DMing has definitely helped me. It gives you a reminder that you can make stuff up on the fly, interest people, and direct the conversation.

Funnily enough, my experience was the reverse of this.

I got better at DMing as a result of increasing the amount of public speaking I was doing. However, it was for the same reasons you mention!

 

[Henry]

One of my jobs has been as a professional IT instructor for many years -- lately in partnership with a major software developer; I've taught by this point literally hundreds of people, with still more to come, Lord willing. Being a game master definitely has helped my public speaking skills and has done away with any anxieties about them. I am also well aware there is always something more to learn, and actively try to seek out other public speakers, AND other DMs especially, because there's always something to learn from another's style, even if it's something NOT to do.

As an aside, I like the concept of Toastmasters, but I also find them far and away too formal in their training; there seems to be a presumption that there is a "one true way" to deliver public speeches, and while the organization does have excellent advice, it also seems to discount diverse styles of delivery in favor of one, and only one, correct style. They are a great place to start, but not the final answer.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

The thing that has helped me most was pure confrontation of my nemesis.

For whatever reason, University of Texas Law School (my alma mater) didn't force us into much more than a couple of mock trial type situations. This is somewhat unusual, especially compard to some of our in-state rivals, most infamously, Baylor. Thus, my fears & shortcomings remained unabated into my practice of law. (See story above.)

However, when I went back for my MBA, the program I chose happened to take a very different approach. For whatever reason, 90%+ of the courses in University of Dallas' programs required group projects and oral presentations, including courses like Finance. The only exceptions to the oral presentation rules were the online courses.

I'm not saying I have conquerered my fear of public speaking- I still avoid it when I can, and get a bad case of the nerves when I have to do it- but at least one shackle of dread has been forever shattered. At this point, I KNOW I can do it, and do it well enough that I have been complemented on my skills. I do, however, try to keep my presentations as brief as possible, so that my panic has less time to get an opportunity to trip me up.

 

[Mark CMG]

My own experiences are varied, in that I've performed in the theater to dozens and even hundreds of folks, performed stand up comedy many times, emceed large venues of sometimes more than a thousand people, and GMed at gamedays and conventions many times. I'm not sure there is really a lot of crossover from one to another but one thing they all have in common would be that the better prepared I've been, the more comfortable I am both with the prepared material and improvising as necessary. I've been in situations where there was no choice but to simply wing it, without any preparation, and it isn't bad, but winging it after first being prepared is always much better. I refer to this as being prepared to improvise. Having a foundation of prepared material, even if it doesn't ultimately get used, strengthens whatever becomes the actual performance.