FINAL FANTASY....Myrkr Foe 5/20,new finished system attached

[Anabstercorian]

This is like some creepy RPG version of Time Cube.

 

[Contrabassoon]

I'll have whatever drugs he's having.

 

[slingbld]

You do not explain enough about the basics of your system. Parts of it look like D20 or D20M and other parts read like some completely different game.
You need to open the document with more concise information on you conversion process.
Then go into the crunchy bits of the classes.

You need a foundation before building a house.
Same applies here. Give us a foundation of information before throwing the body of the work at us.

Do that, clean it up a bit more & it could promise to be a good system.

Hope this helps point you in the right direction!

Slingbld~

 

[Felikeries]

more beast'ies wow!!!!

actually the class discussion is applied in the 'story' and at their speciality
advancements and or spells,etc. the ideas that this 'system' is entirely
operatable is and has been making sense to me

if confusion is an issue please state an example

Ezreihfexozi
Hp 750
#4+1d4
fort 27
vert 20
brty 35
vrs 36
s 34
bp 27
move dc 27(4)
anti-armour/-10 dmg any dmg 25/-
special/1d4 magic items(effecting recovery or xtra dmg)
With enduring strength and a half machine
sentience the Ezreihfexozi act as gaurdians to
places that aren’t supposed to be found or used by
the new warriors.Though they look like regular gaurdians
they have a spell ability,and are buffeted by magic item use.
Attack/thin sword(6d6)or reaver clasher(5d8)every,fire and ice bratch
(5d10x1d4)(4)<<<,Fioree Methafayne(4d20 dmg if -400 hp/foe)(1d4)<
Sifting Ziothe(4d10 dmg 30/- bp foes 1d6)(4)<<,Fiice Paths(1d6 foes –2d20 hp next cast)(4)<<<
Tintain 500 Goods 2500 chinks,a.c.,1d4(staves,1 each spell from repetiore)(4)


Swilotrifp
Hp 2500
#1(though 1d4 in area)
bp 40
move dc 30(10)
anti-magic/first 1d6 spells any caster –1d10 bp&-10 dmg any poisen spells&ss.
special/grapples 5 times a combat
This tremendous hexlopodal plant,was birthed with a brain,but
the original samples were from an evil ‘sevilla’ hortoculturalists
greenhouse.After they kill any enemy they can self teleport
500/- miles.They use their lashing whips to grapple(dc 25(6)vrs or s. 35/+,+1each)
allowing 3 multi attacks that foe next attack.
Attack/whip arms(2d6+4d8)every,poisen whip(3d10,2d10 1d10 ss.)<<,<
cutting petal (4d6+#/won)<
Tintain 750 Goods 3 crystals,(poisen 1d10,1d10 ss.)

 

[slingbld]

actually the class discussion is applied in the 'story' and at their speciality advancements and or spells,etc. the ideas that this 'system' is entirely operatable is and has been making sense to me

if confusion is an issue please state an example

The system is entirely operable to YOU. That occurs often when we write. I find that happening when I write. What you need to do is step outside your work. You need to think like a person who has never had a thought to your conversion. The many people who have posted have mentioned a common thread of confusion in your writing. Part of it is in your sentence structure. Another part of it is in your presentation of the material. It is not presented in a user friendly manor. Look at any well designed game. The rules are introduced in a logical order. With the basics & introduction of new concepts first. You dive right into your body of work. There is no basic education or gradual introduction of your conversion. This leaves people confused.
Before replying right away saying there is no problem. Take a moment to realy read what people have posted. The grammer & structure of your work left them confused. Clean that up. Also realy look at how you have laid your document out. A little re-organization can do wonders in getting more people to understanding your system.
If you do not put the new rules in front and in a clear and easy to understand manor, people will tend not to read through the entire document.
If you have all the rules in there but have them spread out, many people will give up trying to learn your system before they've read through it all.


Slingbld~

 

[Felikeries]

therefore i make this reprehensive admission,that doing all the stats and
tables that can apply to a section or class at the same place is borring

the classes names then hp rollers
then traite rollers
....later a little about the class,their extra's and advancements

as well as weapons and armour have some information inbetween

that's a style that makes the tables refference work not so lame



i have 4 'Special Spells' that any casting class can achieve if anybody
wants to see them,they apply to -hp perm. for learning

 

[slingbld]

Good luck with your work.

Just one last bit of advice before I ignore this thread.
Don't ask for constructive criticism if you have no intention of reacting to that criticism in any way other than saying your way is right & all the people who have pointed out the shortcomings are wrong.

Bottom line, If you want to get people interested in your system you have to make sure spelling and grammar are at least mostly on the mark. You also need to set it up in a way that would appeal to a larger audience. Other games have set the systems up as you have done & not fared well as a result. I realize you are not trying to sell the product, but many people will loose interest if you have poor spelling/grammar & a poor overall layout.

Again, I do hope you the best of luck.
Hopefully you will find a niche....


Slingbld~

 

[Anabstercorian]

And learn how to not be crazy.

Stop being crazy!

 

[Felikeries]

incorperation of the machine yet still monsterous enemy is the key
trick to alleviating rpg monotony,though what exactly the 'Extricater' does for these rather than machines may be a 'campaign' to 'campaign' issue

Futhlooderiuon
Hp 1000
#1d10
fort 40
brty 44
s 27
bp 21
move dc 41(7)
anti-magic/1d4 spells absorbed in limb/repelled with later attack
special/repell,badger,lethargy posien
The strange 10 thin limbed,monster with light purple
skin,and a small body,that looks like an insect,is actually
a distorted field servant from an alternate plain.With
developed power of spell defense,they can unleash a
terrible assualt of caster enemies own dmg,1d4 each,when
they make a knife or lethargy limb attack.
Attack/slash limb(4d6)&<<<,lethargy limb(4d8,-1d10 d/a player effected)<<
wisk limb(2d10),Zinu knife(8d8)every
Tintain 465 Goods 2000E,2000c.,1d6 crystals(rnd)


Wereiotze Saber
Hp 675
#4+1d4
fort 25
ver 36
brty 29
s 46
bp 24
move dc 26(5)
anti-armour/elements –1d10 attack
special/partial machine
The partial furr and metal hide of these uber
sabers has special anti-element power from the
once service use of these beasts by unwholly
demons that thrived on ‘elemental’ black magic.They
are found in mountainous areas,and may be still under
the employment of a ‘high priest’ or ‘preistess’,gaurding
a liar or cavern that lays within the mountain.
Attack/bite(5d10),claw(5d6+7),shurikens(2d10(1d6/attack)(20/e.)
Tintain 600 Goods 1 pass,1d4 staves,1d6 machine junk

 

[Creamsteak]

The strange 10 thin limbed,monster with light purple
skin,and a small body,that looks like an insect,is actually
a distorted field servant from an alternate plain.With
developed power of spell defense,they can unleash a
terrible assualt of caster enemies own dmg,1d4 each,when
they make a knife or lethargy limb attack.

Yes. Timecube. Like my face, four corners (two ears, a nose, and the back corner).