Finals Week

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

I want to rant, but I'm too tired. I should go to bed, but I have too much last-minute homework to do. I should sign off and do that homework, but I'm too burnt out at the mometn. I just noticed the misspelling and decided to leave it. I'm delerious.

I need humor jokes to wake and encourage me

help . . .

bye

 

[diaglo]

so a guy walks into a bar with a duck under his arm.

the duck orders a drink for the guy.

the bartender says. how do you want to pay for that.

the duck says put it on my bill.

 

[WayneLigon]

A mob boss hires a deaf accountant, thinking that hey, that way the man can't talk about what he can't hear. Later, though, $3 million dollars is missing off the books.

The mob boss and his lawyer, who knows sign language, go to visit the accountant.

"Ask him where the money is," the boss says.

'The boss knows you have the money; where is it?' the lawyer signs to the accountant.

'I don't know anything about any missing money', the accountant signs back.

"He says he don't know anything, boss," the lawyer says to the mob boss.

The mob boss whips out a gun, puts it to the accountant's temple, pulls back the hammer and screams "Ask him now!"

'The boss is serious! You better come clean!' the lawyer signs to the accountant.

'OK! I did it! The money is in a suitcase under my brother Enzo's garage!' the man hurridly signs.

The lawyer looks to the mob boss. "He say 'Even you don't have enough guts to pull that trigger, fat man'."

 

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

Thank you. I think I might just make it through the day.

Of course, I still have the rest of the week to go if anyone else has jokes as good as these.
(notice that the jokes have improved my typing?[them and a couple hours sleep])