First time making a creature 100% finished, I believe

[Necrohazard]

These two creatures are for my home brew campaign, they are from the same race within a two cast system. Greater and lesser........in looks they would fall into the tauric group human/scorpion, with human arms and hands and the scorpion claws in its proper place.
I just want to see what people think so far and maybe catch something I have not done quite as it should be, so here they are. Thanks to all those who help.

Red-Nepa
Large Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice: 10d6+30 (85)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 60ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, -1 Dex, +7 natural) touch 8, flat-footed 15;
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+20;
Attack: Claw +15 melee (2d6+6);
Full Attack: Large Club +15/+10 melee (1d8+6), 2 claws +15 melee (2d6+3) and stinger +15 melee (1d6+3 plus poison) or 2 claws +15 melee (2d6+6) and stinger +15 melee (1d6+3 pluse poison);
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5ft;
Special Attack: Constrict 2d6+6, Improved Grab, Poison, Pounce, Rake;
Special Qualities: Darkvision 90ft., Fast Healing 4, Spell Resistance 19, Tremorsense 60ft.;
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +4;
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 8, Con 17, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 10;
Skills: Climb 15, Hide 1, Spot 11;
Feats: Improved Multiattack, Involuntary Rage (B) , Multiattack, Multigrab, Power Attack;
Environment: Any land and underground;
Organization: Gang (2-5) plus 1 gold-nepa if under command
Challenge Rating: 10;
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil;
Advancement: By Character Class;
Level Adjustment: +6;

Combat
Constrict (Ex): A red-nepa deals automatic claw damage on a successful grapple check.
Improved Grab (Ex): To us this ability, a red-nepa must hit with a claw attack. A red-nepa uses its Strength modifier for grapple checks.
Poison (Ex) A red-nepa has a poisonous sting. The save DCs are Constitution-based. The indicated damage is is initial and secondary damage. Fort DC 18, Damage 1d4, Con.
Pounce (Ex): If a red-nepa leaps upon a foe during the first round of combat, it can make a full attack even though it has already moved.
Rake (Ex): A red-nepa that gets a hold can make two rake attacks at its full melee attack bonus with its hind legs 2 claws +15 melee (1d6+3). If the red-nepa pounces on an opponent, it also can rake.
Skills: A red-nepa has a +4 racial bonus on Climb, Hide and Spot checks.

Gold-Nepa
Huge Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice: 12d8+36 (90)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 size, +12 natural) touch 8, flat-footed 20;
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+26;
Attack: Huge Club +16 melee (2d6+6);
Full Attack: Huge Club +16/+11/+6 melee (2d6+6), 2 claws +16 melee (1d8+3) and stinger +16 melee (2d4+3 plus poison) or 2 claws +16 melee (1d8+6) and stinger +16 melee (2d4+3 plus poison);
Space/Reach: 15ft./10ft.
Special Attack: Constrict 1d8+3, Improved Grab, Poison;
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft., Spell Resistance 21, Tremorsense 60ft.;
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +4;
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 11;
Skills: Climb 10, Hide 11, Spot 19;
Feats: Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, Multigrab, Power Attack;
Environment: Warm deserts;
Organization: Solitary or gang (2-5) of red-nepa if commanding
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil;
Advancement: By Character Class;
Level Adjustment: +4;

Combat
Constrict (Ex): A golden-nepa deals automatic claw damage on a successful grapple check.
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a golden-nepa must hit with a claw attack. A golden-nepa uses its Strength modifier for grapple checks.
Poison (Ex): A golden-nepa has a poison sting. The save DCs are Constitution-based. The indicated damage is initial and secondary damage. Fort DC 19, Damage 1d6, Con;
Skills: A golden-nepa has a +4 racial bonus on Climb, Hide, and Spot checks.

Just need to get the discription up on them but in general think of cenatars but men

Sorry its been so long but life will do that to you, and thank all of you that helped me fine tune the race of the nepa.

 

[Ferret]

Most of the stats look right, the saves and things are good. But in some o' the attack paterns seem odd, a club and claws? I'd change it to a claws+stinger or Club+Stinger. Also the secondary attack should have a - five penalty on them.

 

[the Jester]

Also the secondary attack should have a - five penalty on them.

Improved Multiattack...

 

[Camarath]

Constrict (Ex): A red-nepa deals automatic claw damage on a successful grapple check.

You might want to omit this ability because since the creature has Improved Grab it already has the ability to deal claw damage on a successful grapple checks and it is unusual for Constrict to do claw damage.


From SRD

Improved Grab (Ex): If a creature with this special attack hits with a melee weapon (usually a claw or bite attack), it deals normal damage and attempts to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. No initial touch attack is required. Unless otherwise noted, improved grab works only against opponents at least one size category smaller than the creature. The creature has the option to conduct the grapple normally, or simply use the part of its body it used in the improved grab to hold the opponent. If it chooses to do the latter, it takes a -20 penalty on grapple checks, but is not considered grappled itself; the creature does not lose its Dexterity bonus to AC, still threatens an area, and can use its remaining attacks against other opponents. A successful hold does not deal any extra damage unless the creature also has the constrict special attack. If the creature does not constrict, each successful grapple check it makes during successive rounds automatically deals the damage indicated for the attack that established the hold. Otherwise, it deals constriction damage as well (the amount is given in the creature’s descriptive text). When a creature gets a hold after an improved grab attack, it pulls the opponent into its space. This act does not provoke attacks of opportunity. It can even move (possibly carrying away the opponent), provided it can drag the opponent’s weight.

 

[Camarath]

I think the attacks should be as follows assuming that one set of claws is on the limb use to wield the Club. Improved Multiattack does not reduce the penatly on secondary natural weapons because that penatly is from their being secondary natural weapons rather than from fighting with multiple weapons.

Full Attack: Large Clube +15/+10 melee (1d8+6), 1 claws +13 melee (2d6+3) and stinger +13 melee (1d6+3 pluse poison) or 2 claws +15 melee (2d6+6) and stinger +13 melee (1d6+3 pluse poison);

Full Attack: Huge Club +16/+11/+6 melee (2d6+6), 1 claws +14 melee (1d8+3) and stinger +14 melee (2d4+3 plus poison) or 2 claws +16 melee (1d8+6) and stinger +14 melee (2d4+3 plus poison);

 

[Ferret]

Improved Multiattack...

Ah, Wink wink, say no more, say no more! If you know what I mean.....

 

[Knight Otu]

Initiative: 9

Should be -1, unless you use fixed initiative.

Full Attack: Large Clube +15/+10 melee (1d8+6), 2 claws +15 melee (2d6+3) and stinger +15 melee (1d6+3 pluse poison) or 2 claws +15 melee (2d6+6) and stinger +15 melee (1d6+3 pluse poison);

The comma after the club attack, is that supposed to be OR or AND? I certainly agree that club and claws are a bit of an odd combination, but it might work for a tautic scorpion. Also, I'm not sure if Multiattack should help with natural attacks in conjunction with manufactured weapons.

Saves: Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +4;

Fort should be +6, Will +8.

Skills: Climb 19, Hide 3, Spot 18;

You seem to have used 26 skill points, but with its stats, I would only have 13: (HD + 3) * (2 + Int modifier), minimum 13.

Improved Grab (Ex):A red-nepa can use either its Strength modifier or Dexterity modifier for grapple checks, whichever is better.

That is a bit strange. The red nepa (and the gold, too, have much higher Strength that Dexterity, and Strength is the standard for grapple checks.

Gold-Napa

Initiative:
Full Attack:
Improved Grab (Ex):

The same issues as with the red nepa apply here.

Saves: Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +4;

Fort should be +7, Will +8.

Skills: Climb 29, Hide 15, Spot 23;

I'm not quite sure how you did the skills here. Could you please post the ranks?

 

[Necrohazard]

You might want to omit this ability because since the creature has Improved Grab it already has the ability to deal claw damage on a successful grapple checks and it is unusual for Constrict to do claw damage.


From SRD

Improved Grab (Ex): If a creature with this special attack hits with a melee weapon (usually a claw or bite attack), it deals normal damage and attempts to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. No initial touch attack is required. Unless otherwise noted, improved grab works only against opponents at least one size category smaller than the creature. The creature has the option to conduct the grapple normally, or simply use the part of its body it used in the improved grab to hold the opponent. If it chooses to do the latter, it takes a -20 penalty on grapple checks, but is not considered grappled itself; the creature does not lose its Dexterity bonus to AC, still threatens an area, and can use its remaining attacks against other opponents. A successful hold does not deal any extra damage unless the creature also has the constrict special attack. If the creature does not constrict, each successful grapple check it makes during successive rounds automatically deals the damage indicated for the attack that established the hold. Otherwise, it deals constriction damage as well (the amount is given in the creature?s descriptive text). When a creature gets a hold after an improved grab attack, it pulls the opponent into its space. This act does not provoke attacks of opportunity. It can even move (possibly carrying away the opponent), provided it can drag the opponent?s weight.

For the golden-nepa I based my creature of the template "Tauric Creature" but not 100%. But if you look at the monstrous scorpion it has constrict and improved grab......for good reason.

Constrict (Ex): A creature with this special attack can crush an opponent, dealing bludgeoning damage, after making a successful grapple check. The amount of damage is given in the creature's entry. If the creature also has the improved grab ability, it deals constriction damage in addition to damage dealt by the weapon used to grab.

 

[Ferret]

K-Otu, the fort is a good save, right? Thats 10/2 +2 making 7 + 3 from a 17 con, making +10.

And the will is a bad save yes?

 

[Necrohazard]

Yes you got it.