ForceUser's Vietnamese Adventures Story Hour! (finis)
Graf
Explorer
I remember bookmarking your story hour when you first mentioned starting it. And again when you did discuss slowing the unnatural advancement of the 3e system. Then someone recommended it as a supplimental source of primates when jonrog lost his monkeys.
Finally we have found time to hear your tales today and find your monkeys greatly pleasing. We wish to hear more tales of monkeys. Though their setbacks against the vicious humans are must disheartening we are confident that cuddly flesh-eating monkeys will ultimately immerge victorious. Pokey-things are no match for fresh monkey droppings.
We have found your clever words so inspiring that we have adopted this absurd typing style. Though, in truth, the little sleep we have had recently is most certainly contributing.
We did note your practicing of your NPC's words inbetween sessions. This makes us feel better, as we often must do this or else our NPCs always sound the same.
That your writing is greatly satisfying to the people is undeniable, but we know that they could be even more pleased by the inclusion of something currently missing....
Your story hour lacks Yak-folk. This is a grave thing. This public is fickle and inconstant in their passions. Inclusion of yak-folk would assure you their support, and their blessings upon your children for generations to come.
Forget not the yak-folk.
Finally we have found time to hear your tales today and find your monkeys greatly pleasing. We wish to hear more tales of monkeys. Though their setbacks against the vicious humans are must disheartening we are confident that cuddly flesh-eating monkeys will ultimately immerge victorious. Pokey-things are no match for fresh monkey droppings.
We have found your clever words so inspiring that we have adopted this absurd typing style. Though, in truth, the little sleep we have had recently is most certainly contributing.
We did note your practicing of your NPC's words inbetween sessions. This makes us feel better, as we often must do this or else our NPCs always sound the same.
That your writing is greatly satisfying to the people is undeniable, but we know that they could be even more pleased by the inclusion of something currently missing....
Your story hour lacks Yak-folk. This is a grave thing. This public is fickle and inconstant in their passions. Inclusion of yak-folk would assure you their support, and their blessings upon your children for generations to come.
Forget not the yak-folk.
Last edited:
ForceUser
Explorer
As desired, so executed. I will try to update more frequently.
Enjoy.
**
The crevasse yawned below them, swallowing the torchlight like a malevolent maw. The party huddled within the radius of the light, acutely aware of the earthquake-ravaged tunnel around them. Behind them lay strewn a trail of footprints, fresh tracks in the tomb-like corridors of the monastery’s deepest recesses. Motes of pulverized granite swirled and settled in the light.
Vinh coughed, clearing his throat. “How deep is it?”
“I think I see a ledge,” said Woo, “Hold this.” Handing Vinh his pack, he put his torch in his mouth, then squatted on the tiles and gathered a handful of fine-grained powder. He clapped his hands together and rubbed, and a small puff of gray billowed into the dark. In the close, musty tunnel the sound fell flat.
With a grunt of “hupp!” he began to descend. Strong fingers dug into the uneven rock face, and the others watched with grim interest as he quickly shuffled down out of sight. From below they heard a muffled thud and saw a wobbly orange glow illuminating brown earth and gray stone. The monk called up “It goes further…I think there’s a cavern farther down.”
Tam winced as he straightened his back and began rubbing his spine. Nervously, the old wizard spoke. “This could be her lair. We do not know if we are ready to face her.” Hien wasn’t sure if the wu jen was referring to himself or the whole group. Shrugging, the young shaman replied. “We must face her, to break her curse if we can. Sca.” The fox leapt into the shaman’s arms, and Hien nestled him into his pack securely.
Mai sighed, resigned, and dug out a length of fine silk rope. With Lei’s help she secured it to a large chunk of fallen masonry, then carefully rappelled into the fissure.
Tam continued mumbling to himself as he took off his pack and handed it to Lei. “This is not a natural opening in the earth…magic forces were once at work here…evocations…spirits of earth compelled…unf!” Gingerly, he worked his way down.
Forty feet below the ledge, the fissure opened into a dry, sandy-floored cavern. When the last person, Lei, reached the bottom, he spied Woo carefully examining the cave walls. They sparkled dully with multi-hued deposits of minerals. When Woo commented, Tam rattled off a list of names. “All very common minerals,” he concluded, “none so fine as to be worthy of alchemical transmogrification.”
“Of what?” said Woo.
“You can’t turn any of these rocks into gold,” Hien translated.
“Whatever,” replied the monk. “The cave continues up ahead. There’s a tunnel.”
“There’s always a tunnel,” said Lei.
Woo glowered at him, then stepped aside and gestured to the mercenary. “After you.”
Vinh sighed. “Just follow me.”
And so it was that Vinh strode at the head of the small column when the party entered a sandy-floored cavern with no less than three connecting passages.
“What now?” said Mai. Vinh took off his helm and scratched his head, and that’s when he heard the clacking, shuffling sound emerging from the cavern on the right. He tensed and dropped into a ready posture, crane-watches-for-fish. “Sshhh!” he exclaimed.
Mai, of course, had already distanced herself from both the sound and the other fighters and drawn her duan jian. As the others began to react, a squat, heavy form roughly the size of a mule rushed Vinh out of the darkness. The creature – whatever it was – was protected by a thick, lumpy hide of rust-red, with a tail covered in armored plates that looked rather similar to the tail of a gigantic lobster. It possessed a large, insect-like head with two shiny black eyes, small mandibles, and a pair of large, feather-like antennae that groped at Vinh’s weapon.
When one of the antennae brushed the kama-do, the intricately inlaid weapon disintegrated instantly into rusted flakes in the no-sheng’s hands. The creature paused momentarily to gobble them up.
“Sh-t!” cried Vinh in dismay. Everyone else gaped at the absurdity of the attack. Woo was the first to react, tumbling nimbly around the creature and thwacking it with his bang. His beautiful, jade-worked jiann he kept firmly in its scabbard. As Mai circled around, Lei backed up dumbfounded, but cradled his new-found spear protectively all the same. “Kill it!” he exhorted Tam. “With magic!”
The wu jen merely shrugged and studied the creature with rapt curiosity.
Hien, brave as ever, leapt forward with his spirit staff and thumped the creature on its armored back. It didn’t seem to notice him. Vinh’s armor, on the other hand, looked very tasty.
As the no-sheng lashed out at the thing with his backup weapon, a hand axe, it caressed his armor gently with both antennae.
“Arghh!” screamed Vinh in frustration as his golden scale hauberk rusted away to clumps at his feet. The creature* ignored him and hungrily began to masticate.
In short order, with much shouting and several telling blows, they put the monster down. Toward the end it dimly perceived the threat these walking meal tickets posed to its continued existence and fought back accordingly, but a creature of such basic instinct could never appropriately defend itself against a truly committed opponent.
As the now armorless, weaponless no-sheng had become.
“That, uh, kama-do is not going to be easy to replace?” ventured Woo.
“Not at all,” fumed Vinh. “My only hope is that Tuyen has a spare. I will be at a distinct disadvantage without armor or the weapon I have trained in since childhood.”
“Look on the bright side,’ said Woo, “this is an opportunity to practice the forms I have taught you.”
Vinh shot him an annoyed look. “Yes, thank you.”
“Here,” offered Lei, “you can use my spear.”
Looking dismally at the pile of rust that was once his masterfully crafted, privately commissioned weapon of choice, Vinh took the spear and let out a long sigh. “Let’s move on.”
**
Hours later, after randomly choosing the passage to the left, the party discovered that the uneven tunnel widened and then ended at a large black hole in the ground, twelve feet across. The air smelled strongly of water, and upon kicking a loose rock into the hole Woo was rewarded with a distinct plunk.
“Water…could be deep.” The monk squatted at the lip of the opening and held his torch aloft.
“I don’t see the point of going down there,” said Mai. Tam nodded, “Neither do we.”
Woo shrugged and stood up, dusting off his robes, and began to move away from the opening. Just then, a weak, raspy voice echoed up from below.
“Is…is someone there? By my ancestors, has someone come? H-help…help me. Please.”
Everyone froze.
“It’s a trick,” said Lei immediately.
“How could someone possibly be down there?” asked Mai frantically.
“Hrmm,” grunted Woo in general disapproval of everything.
Tam, meanwhile, wandered over to the edge and called out pleasantly, “Hello! What are you doing down there in the dark? And what is your name?”
The voice below broke into choked sobs, “Oh ancestors, it’s true, I’ve finally gone mad.”
“What is your name?” Tam repeated.
“Oh, why not?” cackled the voice, ”I am Su Fong, a wizard and seeker of lore. I have been imprisoned here by an evil dragon.”
“Right,” declared Woo, “Let’s go.” He started back up the passage.
“Wait,” said Tam.
“Wait? What part of evil dragon didn’t you understand?”
“I want to hear more,” said Hien, and he stepped up beside the old wu jen.
Tam continued the dialogue. “Su Fong, why did the dragon imprison you?”
“Why do evil dragons do anything?” answered the voice evasively.
“I suppose we’re just hearing a strange echo,” said Tam, “There’s nothing down there. Let’s go.” He made as if to turn away.
“I stole something from it!” wailed the cracked voice desperately.
“Ah,” returned Tam sagely, “What did you steal?”
“A…a key.” hedged the voice.
Exasperated, Vinh interjected, “A key to what?”
A high-pitched giggle wafted up from below. “The key to the Middle Room.”
**
*For the sake of clarity, let’s call this thing a rust monster.
Enjoy.
**
The crevasse yawned below them, swallowing the torchlight like a malevolent maw. The party huddled within the radius of the light, acutely aware of the earthquake-ravaged tunnel around them. Behind them lay strewn a trail of footprints, fresh tracks in the tomb-like corridors of the monastery’s deepest recesses. Motes of pulverized granite swirled and settled in the light.
Vinh coughed, clearing his throat. “How deep is it?”
“I think I see a ledge,” said Woo, “Hold this.” Handing Vinh his pack, he put his torch in his mouth, then squatted on the tiles and gathered a handful of fine-grained powder. He clapped his hands together and rubbed, and a small puff of gray billowed into the dark. In the close, musty tunnel the sound fell flat.
With a grunt of “hupp!” he began to descend. Strong fingers dug into the uneven rock face, and the others watched with grim interest as he quickly shuffled down out of sight. From below they heard a muffled thud and saw a wobbly orange glow illuminating brown earth and gray stone. The monk called up “It goes further…I think there’s a cavern farther down.”
Tam winced as he straightened his back and began rubbing his spine. Nervously, the old wizard spoke. “This could be her lair. We do not know if we are ready to face her.” Hien wasn’t sure if the wu jen was referring to himself or the whole group. Shrugging, the young shaman replied. “We must face her, to break her curse if we can. Sca.” The fox leapt into the shaman’s arms, and Hien nestled him into his pack securely.
Mai sighed, resigned, and dug out a length of fine silk rope. With Lei’s help she secured it to a large chunk of fallen masonry, then carefully rappelled into the fissure.
Tam continued mumbling to himself as he took off his pack and handed it to Lei. “This is not a natural opening in the earth…magic forces were once at work here…evocations…spirits of earth compelled…unf!” Gingerly, he worked his way down.
Forty feet below the ledge, the fissure opened into a dry, sandy-floored cavern. When the last person, Lei, reached the bottom, he spied Woo carefully examining the cave walls. They sparkled dully with multi-hued deposits of minerals. When Woo commented, Tam rattled off a list of names. “All very common minerals,” he concluded, “none so fine as to be worthy of alchemical transmogrification.”
“Of what?” said Woo.
“You can’t turn any of these rocks into gold,” Hien translated.
“Whatever,” replied the monk. “The cave continues up ahead. There’s a tunnel.”
“There’s always a tunnel,” said Lei.
Woo glowered at him, then stepped aside and gestured to the mercenary. “After you.”
Vinh sighed. “Just follow me.”
And so it was that Vinh strode at the head of the small column when the party entered a sandy-floored cavern with no less than three connecting passages.
“What now?” said Mai. Vinh took off his helm and scratched his head, and that’s when he heard the clacking, shuffling sound emerging from the cavern on the right. He tensed and dropped into a ready posture, crane-watches-for-fish. “Sshhh!” he exclaimed.
Mai, of course, had already distanced herself from both the sound and the other fighters and drawn her duan jian. As the others began to react, a squat, heavy form roughly the size of a mule rushed Vinh out of the darkness. The creature – whatever it was – was protected by a thick, lumpy hide of rust-red, with a tail covered in armored plates that looked rather similar to the tail of a gigantic lobster. It possessed a large, insect-like head with two shiny black eyes, small mandibles, and a pair of large, feather-like antennae that groped at Vinh’s weapon.
When one of the antennae brushed the kama-do, the intricately inlaid weapon disintegrated instantly into rusted flakes in the no-sheng’s hands. The creature paused momentarily to gobble them up.
“Sh-t!” cried Vinh in dismay. Everyone else gaped at the absurdity of the attack. Woo was the first to react, tumbling nimbly around the creature and thwacking it with his bang. His beautiful, jade-worked jiann he kept firmly in its scabbard. As Mai circled around, Lei backed up dumbfounded, but cradled his new-found spear protectively all the same. “Kill it!” he exhorted Tam. “With magic!”
The wu jen merely shrugged and studied the creature with rapt curiosity.
Hien, brave as ever, leapt forward with his spirit staff and thumped the creature on its armored back. It didn’t seem to notice him. Vinh’s armor, on the other hand, looked very tasty.
As the no-sheng lashed out at the thing with his backup weapon, a hand axe, it caressed his armor gently with both antennae.
“Arghh!” screamed Vinh in frustration as his golden scale hauberk rusted away to clumps at his feet. The creature* ignored him and hungrily began to masticate.
In short order, with much shouting and several telling blows, they put the monster down. Toward the end it dimly perceived the threat these walking meal tickets posed to its continued existence and fought back accordingly, but a creature of such basic instinct could never appropriately defend itself against a truly committed opponent.
As the now armorless, weaponless no-sheng had become.
“That, uh, kama-do is not going to be easy to replace?” ventured Woo.
“Not at all,” fumed Vinh. “My only hope is that Tuyen has a spare. I will be at a distinct disadvantage without armor or the weapon I have trained in since childhood.”
“Look on the bright side,’ said Woo, “this is an opportunity to practice the forms I have taught you.”
Vinh shot him an annoyed look. “Yes, thank you.”
“Here,” offered Lei, “you can use my spear.”
Looking dismally at the pile of rust that was once his masterfully crafted, privately commissioned weapon of choice, Vinh took the spear and let out a long sigh. “Let’s move on.”
**
Hours later, after randomly choosing the passage to the left, the party discovered that the uneven tunnel widened and then ended at a large black hole in the ground, twelve feet across. The air smelled strongly of water, and upon kicking a loose rock into the hole Woo was rewarded with a distinct plunk.
“Water…could be deep.” The monk squatted at the lip of the opening and held his torch aloft.
“I don’t see the point of going down there,” said Mai. Tam nodded, “Neither do we.”
Woo shrugged and stood up, dusting off his robes, and began to move away from the opening. Just then, a weak, raspy voice echoed up from below.
“Is…is someone there? By my ancestors, has someone come? H-help…help me. Please.”
Everyone froze.
“It’s a trick,” said Lei immediately.
“How could someone possibly be down there?” asked Mai frantically.
“Hrmm,” grunted Woo in general disapproval of everything.
Tam, meanwhile, wandered over to the edge and called out pleasantly, “Hello! What are you doing down there in the dark? And what is your name?”
The voice below broke into choked sobs, “Oh ancestors, it’s true, I’ve finally gone mad.”
“What is your name?” Tam repeated.
“Oh, why not?” cackled the voice, ”I am Su Fong, a wizard and seeker of lore. I have been imprisoned here by an evil dragon.”
“Right,” declared Woo, “Let’s go.” He started back up the passage.
“Wait,” said Tam.
“Wait? What part of evil dragon didn’t you understand?”
“I want to hear more,” said Hien, and he stepped up beside the old wu jen.
Tam continued the dialogue. “Su Fong, why did the dragon imprison you?”
“Why do evil dragons do anything?” answered the voice evasively.
“I suppose we’re just hearing a strange echo,” said Tam, “There’s nothing down there. Let’s go.” He made as if to turn away.
“I stole something from it!” wailed the cracked voice desperately.
“Ah,” returned Tam sagely, “What did you steal?”
“A…a key.” hedged the voice.
Exasperated, Vinh interjected, “A key to what?”
A high-pitched giggle wafted up from below. “The key to the Middle Room.”
**
*For the sake of clarity, let’s call this thing a rust monster.
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