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Funny thoughts about EverQuest d20 compared to the MMORPG

Telor

First Post
I played EverQuest for a few years and quit mostly due to boredom. I think the d20 rulebook is an excellent idea and I am positive it would be fun to play and thus will sell pretty well.

This isn't a rant, I said I played the game for years and I can not say that about any other game. I just think that a TRUE d20 rendition is an amusing thought.

I'm glad the designers aren't doing the things I'm about to suggest but If they were to make a true rendition of the MMORPG here is what they would have to do:

(General)
1) No multiclassing
2) No feats, until epic levels
3) Kill a monster and wait 15min real-time (30min for some, 1hr for some, 1day for some, 1week for some, etc.) for him to reappear from "Dimension X" and you can kill him again. Oddly enough when creatures respawn from Dimension X they have all the same stuff they did before and sometimes they have a rare item. Most adventurers kill a group of creatures over and over again for hours of nonexcitement, actually all adventureres do this.
4) Hand a ftr1 a Fireburst sword and watch him kill a group of 4 level 5 orcs by himself. This just gets worse as the items get better, essentially the equipment makes the man.

(Casters)
1) Each caster has a set limit of spells of which the vast majority simply upgrade older spells. You can only have 8 memorized and there are probably only a dozen or so that you cast regularly (unless you're a teleporter).
2) Spells cost mana and replenishing mana is best done sitting down. So all casters are yo-yos. They stand up, cast a spell, and sit down again.
3) Spell casting is generally underpowered. A wizard could kill 5 or 6 appropriate things by himself and then would have to sit for 45min real-time to have full mana. For those who like numbers, Imagine being able to do 1,200pts of damage with one spell to a critter than has 10,000HP. Now go to a new continent and use that same spell on a critter who has 100,000HP imagine how fast it takes for you to have spent your entire mana pool.

(Fighters)
1) A fighter can hack and slash 24/7 (literally) and not get tired, though he would need a cleric to keep him alive, obviously. There is a stamina bar in the MMORPG but it only goes down when you swim or jump.
2) The vast majority use fighting tactics where AE's (fireball) is counterproductive.
3) There is no blocking: 5 fighter standing shoulder to shoulder can not prevent that nasty beast from getting to their casters.

(Misc)
Given 5hrs realtime, anyone can know every language in the game.
A high elf paladin and a dark elf (drow) necromancer get along fine. In fact, opposites attract and you'll often see evil and good races adventuring together and oddly enough they use democracy to decide where to go and who gets what. For some odd reason, only the guards and merchants of cities care what race people are.

Feel free to add to this, I'll add more as they come to me. I purposely didn't include anything due to the difference between real-time combat and round combat (like AoOs).

-Telor
 
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PCs will start the campaign with a club, food, milk, and a note to give to their guildmaster, who will for some reason give them a shirt in exchange for the note.

Everything they see available to buy will have prices in the magnitude of platinum pieces. Of course, the platinum piece will be a completely amazing denomination of money at level 1, and the PCs will be ecstatic when they save up enough money to buy, of all things, a backpack.

And, of course, you can't carry more than 8 objects unless you have a backpack. Carrying 8 backpacks presents no difficulty whatsoever.

The PCs will engage in such heroic activities as collecting rat whiskers, collecting spider legs, and collecting skeleton bones. These will retail for a few coppers a piece to local merchants, who for some reason have a thriving trade in rat whisker futures.

Every time the PCs gain a level, they must scream DING at the top of their lungs.

Every now and then, the PCs will see a fellow adventurer running for his life while being chased by a line of rats.

Shopkeepers will be nearly indestructible.

Instead of the stereotypical meeting-the-other-PCs-in-a-crowded-tavern plotline, the PCs will meet each other by standing at the city gates and shouting that they need someone to power level them.

The center of the world's economy will be based out of a cave leading from a city to a desert.

No matter how vile, evil, and despicable a person you are, town guards will eventually love you if you kill enough goblins. This is the only way to gain favor with the populace.

City-wide famines can be stopped by buying a sack of bread from a centaur.

Dwarves always tuck and roll when they jump. Always.

Female PCs will constantly be approached and asked for sexual favors. Male PCs will throw money and items at female PCs in hopes of wooing their favors, no matter the gender (always male) of the player of said PC.

PCs will either have childish names like "Bonethrob" or randomly generated names like "Iiianiaalieaall"

Practice makes perfect, so the PCs will run around and try to figure out what direction they're facing every 5 seconds.

Players will shout at the top of their lungs for a shaman to SoW them. They will get rude and violent if said shaman has an excuse such as "I'm out of mana," "I'm not a shaman," or "Really, look, I'm a dwarf. We can't be shamans."
 

1) Each caster has a set limit of spells of which the vast majority simply upgrade older spells. You can only have 8 memorized and there are probably only a dozen or so that you cast regularly (unless you're a teleporter).

You might wana look at the character sheet if you think they did away with the memorization thing...
 

If a party of players manage to get lucky or use superior tactics and kill a very large monster, they will not get any xp or items for it and will probably get accused of cheating since that monster "was not meant to be killed yet."
 


MeepoTheMighty said:
Every time the PCs gain a level, they must scream DING at the top of their lungs.
Actually, I started a new campaign a week ago, and my players started doing this when they levelled :D though I don't think any of them has ever played EQ!
 


Ding!

poilbrun said:

Actually, I started a new campaign a week ago, and my players started doing this when they levelled :D though I don't think any of them has ever played EQ!

My group does this, too. A few of them are EQers, but others (like myself) learned from Diablo 2.
 

Druids and Wizards will constantly be harrassed from people all across the planet for people to teleport them.

Shamans pets will constantly be harrassed from people to teleport them.

Whenever you enter a new area all PCs will freeze for a second as you enter a new area. These areas will be referred to as 'zones'.

Whenever a PC gets into danger they will shout "TRAIN!".

Whenever a PC hears the word "TRAIN!" they will run from the zone as quickly as possible.
 

PCs will be required to randomly spout gibberish like "BRB, Got 2 PP." They will then stand and stare vacantly at the other PCs for a short period of time.

PCs can camp anywhere in the game -- provided there isn't a monster less than 30 seconds away.

Clerics regularly carry around more gems than the entire content of your average South African diamond mine.

All drums look like flutes. And bards break the sound barrier.

It takes 5 minutes to kill a god, but it takes 20 hours to get to him. Then the fight over who gets what takes another hour.

All wizards wear robes inspired by "Checker Cabs". It's a guild rule.

Monks must have an excellent grasp of mathematics or they lose out on defensive skills due to weight issues. This includes the long, thin, wooden staff that inexplicably weighs 12 lbs.

Whenever the DM tries to roleplay a scenario, 350 middle school children (mentally, at least) will show up and kill the quest NPCs before half the story is told becasue the 350 people are hoping for "phat lewt".

PCs will regularly hold shouted conversations across a distance approximately equivalent to the area between Waterdeep and Baldur's Gate with no trouble. Conversely, there are NO limits to telepathic communication.

And finally --

While several classes have the ability to play dead, it will almost always be the monks who are seen lying on the ground. Most of them will still have little swirly images curling up from their fists. The rest are doing their best Elmer Fudd imitation -- "Be Very, Very quiet... I'm hunting exp mobs."
 

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