Funny "victory" lines?
- Thread starter KrazyHades
- Start date
Kae'Yoss
First Post
Oh, and there was that solar-turned-evil, telling us that we'll never pass. Our mage just said "let's roshamboe it" and lay him low with a single spell (okay, it was meteor swarm, maximized and empowered or something like that)
One enemy taunted us that even though we outnumbered and outgunned him, we would have to let him live since we needed his knowledge. Calmly mentioning that our party cleric could speak to the dead shut him up good.
One enemy taunted us that even though we outnumbered and outgunned him, we would have to let him live since we needed his knowledge. Calmly mentioning that our party cleric could speak to the dead shut him up good.
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
Holy crappola! Matt, I had no idea you were story editor for Mercenaries. That's a great game.mattcolville said:
I always remember when the PCs had killed a marilith's body, but the spirit had made it to a soul gem. They put the gem in a circle of protection and started taunting it. In particular, the bard dangled the marilith's now-bloodstained clothing in front of the gem and crooned, "We've got your bra!"
pbd
First Post
After beating on a bunch of mooks and interrogating the lone survivor, my Ranger wants to let him go, but also wants to instill the "proper" amount of fear to ensure we won;t just double back and sell them out. He releases the guy with the warning, "If I ever see you again, I'll kill you first!" (I probably should have left a loop hole for running into him in non-hostile situations)
Needless to say the DM had to have us encounter the guy again, at which point IO believe he pi$$ed himself...
Needless to say the DM had to have us encounter the guy again, at which point IO believe he pi$$ed himself...
Kae'Yoss
First Post
If you want some real gems, go see Commando. Arnie has some real nice things to say there:
After being asked what he did to some guy, he just said "I let him go" (while he hung him over a cliff by one arm)
The guy he impaled on a steam pipe he told to blow off some steam.
Well, they're your kids, their mother is your wife.... But it's good that your kids don't make a habit of rudely pointing out facts.
After being asked what he did to some guy, he just said "I let him go" (while he hung him over a cliff by one arm)
The guy he impaled on a steam pipe he told to blow off some steam.
rgard said:
Well, they're your kids, their mother is your wife.... But it's good that your kids don't make a habit of rudely pointing out facts.
Rhun
First Post
Whenever I cast banishment or similar spell, I always steal the quote from Ghostbusters:
"(Insert outside name)... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of (insert realm name), I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. "
"(Insert outside name)... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of (insert realm name), I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. "
Jeysie
First Post
I'd have to look more thoroughly my logs at home for more, but some I could find straight away...
For one, the party for one of our campaigns has a Magic Missile rock that the cleric picked up in a previous adventure. The command phrase for the rock is "Happy Birthday!", which leads to a fair number of comedic lines.
For two, while not "victory lines" exactly, our cleric does have what we've dubbed "Pelorian Battle Cries". These tend to take the general form of "HOLY <adjective> PELOR'S <relative> IN A <vehicle>!" For instance: "HOLY GREAT BACKFLIPPING PELOR'S SECOND COUSIN IN A PONTOON BOAT!" He's got a whole running gag of them going on... I think he's belted out something like 15 of them so far over the course of things.
For three... we were all fighting a ton of zombies in an abandoned hotel at one point. After fighting them long enough to get a good number of them gathered together, our cleric (same player... what can I say, he's got a good sense of comedic styling), who has the Sun domain and managed to totally nail his turning check, dusts off the whole lot with this:
"BY THE WILL OF THE ALMIGHTY PELOR, BRINGER OF LIGHT, HE OF THE EXTENDED FAMILY, UPHOLDER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND JUST, I COMMAND YOU UNDEAD FREAKS TO B****R OFF!"
(Yes, he's a little... odd... for a Pelor cleric.)
Peace & Luv, Liz
For one, the party for one of our campaigns has a Magic Missile rock that the cleric picked up in a previous adventure. The command phrase for the rock is "Happy Birthday!", which leads to a fair number of comedic lines.
For two, while not "victory lines" exactly, our cleric does have what we've dubbed "Pelorian Battle Cries". These tend to take the general form of "HOLY <adjective> PELOR'S <relative> IN A <vehicle>!" For instance: "HOLY GREAT BACKFLIPPING PELOR'S SECOND COUSIN IN A PONTOON BOAT!" He's got a whole running gag of them going on... I think he's belted out something like 15 of them so far over the course of things.
For three... we were all fighting a ton of zombies in an abandoned hotel at one point. After fighting them long enough to get a good number of them gathered together, our cleric (same player... what can I say, he's got a good sense of comedic styling), who has the Sun domain and managed to totally nail his turning check, dusts off the whole lot with this:
"BY THE WILL OF THE ALMIGHTY PELOR, BRINGER OF LIGHT, HE OF THE EXTENDED FAMILY, UPHOLDER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND JUST, I COMMAND YOU UNDEAD FREAKS TO B****R OFF!"
(Yes, he's a little... odd... for a Pelor cleric.)
Peace & Luv, Liz
Particle_Man
Explorer
"Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the wand of fireballs."
Quick one-shot on the DM's birthday, we're taking things even less seriously than normal.
We're set up with pregens as a little band of mercenaries sailing out to retrieve an item, take it back to someone.
Well, I'm the captain of the boat, and I take great pains in pointing that out, even though I'm being ineffectual and in charge in name only. I've got a pirate captain hat I'm pretty proud of, that's it.
Fast forward a bit; we're talking to the dude who wanted the item in a multi-story bar, up top. Suddenly (and I can't recall why) it's invaded by this all-female..gang-something. Huge fight ensues, many mooks. We're down to the last powerful enemy, she's getting away; about to go through a door.
My turn comes up. I can't hit her for appreciable damage with my bow, have no other options (Ftr/Rog). I've really been somewhat useless in the fight and in "captaining".
I go:
Me: "I want to jam the door. Shoot an arrow into the lock mechanism or something."
DM: "Really? Tough shot. Call it...AC 30."
Me: <rolls a natural 20, the door is jammed>..."THAT is why I'M CAPTAIN, F***ERS!"
We're set up with pregens as a little band of mercenaries sailing out to retrieve an item, take it back to someone.
Well, I'm the captain of the boat, and I take great pains in pointing that out, even though I'm being ineffectual and in charge in name only. I've got a pirate captain hat I'm pretty proud of, that's it.
Fast forward a bit; we're talking to the dude who wanted the item in a multi-story bar, up top. Suddenly (and I can't recall why) it's invaded by this all-female..gang-something. Huge fight ensues, many mooks. We're down to the last powerful enemy, she's getting away; about to go through a door.
My turn comes up. I can't hit her for appreciable damage with my bow, have no other options (Ftr/Rog). I've really been somewhat useless in the fight and in "captaining".
I go:
Me: "I want to jam the door. Shoot an arrow into the lock mechanism or something."
DM: "Really? Tough shot. Call it...AC 30."
Me: <rolls a natural 20, the door is jammed>..."THAT is why I'M CAPTAIN, F***ERS!"
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