D&D General Game Night Is Well Catered With These Official D&D Meat Sticks

The world of Dungeons & Dragons merchandising can be surprising. Of course, there's the usual plushies and stationery and Lego, but just last month we were talking about Dragon's Milk, the new official beer and whiskey, while today we're looking at official D&D meat.

Mythical Meats has launched an Adventurer's Ration Variety Pack. The company produces... well, meat. Meat snacks, specifically, in the form of meat sticks. For this venture, there are 12 different sticks, each themed after a D&D character class.

• Barbarian: Sriracha Flavored Duck with Beef & Chicken Stick
• Bard: Buffalo Style Chicken with Beef Stick
• Cleric: Hawaiian Style Teriyaki Wild Boar with Beef Stick
• Druid: Honey BBQ Style Turkey with Beef Stick
• Fighter: Jalapeno Elk with Beef Stick
• Monk: Sweet and Spicy Beef and Buffalo Stick
• Paladin: BBQ Style Camel with Beef Stick
• Ranger: Hickory Smoked Venison with Beef Stick
• Rogue: Slow Burn Alligator with Beef and Pork Stick
• Sorcerer: Habanero BBQ Snack Stick
• Warlock: Honey Ham Pork Stick
• Wizard: Chipotle and Garlic Beef with Yak Stick

Sadly, there's no actually mythical meats like beholder, dragon, or griffon sticks; but if you like a bit of duck, beef, turkey, or ham, Mythical Meats has you covered with some non-mythical meats. Cows are real, right?

At the time of posting, the product page tells me that there are no products in the Dungeons & Dragons collection, but looking at some of the other offerings on the site it looks like a set will cost around around $75.

So, a D&D meat stick washed down with a D&D stout ... it looks like game nights are fully catered for!

 

[Spectral Anomaly]

I suppose using classes for the flavors is better than using species. Still feels a little too close to cannibalism for my tastes though.

 

[monsmord]

Shouldn't the druid be the wild boar, the sorcerer the alligator, and the rogue duck?

And shouldn't the bard be ham?

 

[Morrus]

I suppose using classes for the flavors is better than using species. Still feels a little too close to cannibalism for my tastes though.

They're not saying you eat a sorcerer; they're saying a sorcerer eats a Habanero BBQ Snack Stick.

 

[talien]

Fascinating! The Mythical Meat sticks company has been making these for a while and advertising to D&D gamers, so it looks like they finally picked up the official license. The original (including a basilisk, chimera, dragon, and unicorn among others Original Variety Pack – Mythical Meats) hilariously showed the meat sticks being consumed while playing ... Scrabble. Sure.

I love meat sticks, but I don't love all flavors, and these packages tend to be all over the place, so you're guaranteed to get a few you don't like. I do like the idea of buying this for your gaming group as a stocking stuffer and giving it out to each player according to their class, but the flavors seem almost randomly assigned. Why is the paladin flavor made of camel and the cleric's made of boar?

 

[Mad_Jack]

There was a jerky vendor selling these at the CT Ren Faire this year. I didn't actually try any, though, so I can't comment on the quality.

 

[Jacob Lewis]

I don't know what's happening anymore.

 

[eyeheartawk]

I want to go back to gaming in shame in basements. We've gone too far. Go back.

 

[aco175]

People eat Camels? I thought they were like eating horses- something only done in France.

 

[eyeheartawk]

People eat Camels? I thought they were like eating horses- something only done in France.

They have specialized horse meat butcher shops in Germany too.

That being said, the only place I've ever eaten horse was on the side of a road from a shady looking stand in France.

10/10 would recommend.