D&D General Game Night Is Well Catered With These Official D&D Meat Sticks

The world of Dungeons & Dragons merchandising can be surprising. Of course, there's the usual plushies and stationery and Lego, but just last month we were talking about Dragon's Milk, the new official beer and whiskey, while today we're looking at official D&D meat.

Mythical Meats has launched an Adventurer's Ration Variety Pack. The company produces... well, meat. Meat snacks, specifically, in the form of meat sticks. For this venture, there are 12 different sticks, each themed after a D&D character class.

• Barbarian: Sriracha Flavored Duck with Beef & Chicken Stick
• Bard: Buffalo Style Chicken with Beef Stick
• Cleric: Hawaiian Style Teriyaki Wild Boar with Beef Stick
• Druid: Honey BBQ Style Turkey with Beef Stick
• Fighter: Jalapeno Elk with Beef Stick
• Monk: Sweet and Spicy Beef and Buffalo Stick
• Paladin: BBQ Style Camel with Beef Stick
• Ranger: Hickory Smoked Venison with Beef Stick
• Rogue: Slow Burn Alligator with Beef and Pork Stick
• Sorcerer: Habanero BBQ Snack Stick
• Warlock: Honey Ham Pork Stick
• Wizard: Chipotle and Garlic Beef with Yak Stick

Sadly, there's no actually mythical meats like beholder, dragon, or griffon sticks; but if you like a bit of duck, beef, turkey, or ham, Mythical Meats has you covered with some non-mythical meats. Cows are real, right?

At the time of posting, the product page tells me that there are no products in the Dungeons & Dragons collection, but looking at some of the other offerings on the site it looks like a set will cost around around $75.

So, a D&D meat stick washed down with a D&D stout ... it looks like game nights are fully catered for!

 

[Tales and Chronicles]

Vegetarian elves express severe disappointment in the offerings!

That said as far as food-related products, Heroes Feast was an excellent product; it fit in well for game sessions in person.

Eggplant or mushroom jerky is pretty good. Still salted as all heck, but at least with less nitrates and fat.

 

[R_J_K75]

The toaster is a real thing

Probably the things nightmares are made of. I read the "About Us" on the Uncanny Brands website. They are self-professed nerds, and geeks, of various fandoms, but nowhere does it say they are electricians, engineers or manufacturers. At least one Amazon review said theirs burst into flames almost immediately on its maiden toast. Then again, the person also said they paid $44 in shipping so who knows how authentic that review is. Still, I wouldn't trust it in my house. I've had a few space heaters space heaters start on fire and burn out receptacles over the years and they were from reputable brands so I'm always pretty picky when it comes to the brands for appliances, heaters, extension cords, outlet extenders, etc I buy.

 

[Alzrius]

I've had a few space heaters space heaters start on fire and burn out receptacles over the years and they were from reputable brands so I'm always pretty picky when it comes to the brands for appliances, heaters, extension cords, outlet extenders, etc I buy.

A very wise stance to take. Two or three years ago I turned on a space heater and left the room for a little while; when I came back, smoke was filling up the room (no flames, thankfully). I threw it out the next day, and haven't used one since.

 

[Tales and Chronicles]

Probably the things nightmares are made of. I read the "About Us" on the Uncanny Brands website. They are self-professed nerds, and geeks, of various fandoms, but nowhere does it say they are electricians, engineers or manufacturers. At least one Amazon review said theirs burst into flames almost immediately on its maiden toast. Then again, the person also said they paid $44 in shipping so who knows how authentic that review is. Still, I wouldn't trust it in my house. I've had a few space heaters space heaters start on fire and burn out receptacles over the years and they were from reputable brands so I'm always pretty picky when it comes to the brands for appliances, heaters, extension cords, outlet extenders, etc I buy.

As with many things marketed to geeks, they do look like the cheapest models possible on the Chinese market slapped with a trendy geeks reference.

Not saying they look dangerous, but it's the sort of crap that will stop working after a month (and the cheap plastic cover will have melted since week 1, probably).

 

[R_J_K75]

A very wise stance to take. Two or three years ago I turned on a space heater and left the room for a little while; when I came back, smoke was filling up the room (no flames, thankfully). I threw it out the next day, and haven't used one since.

I had a Black & Decker electric coil heater around 2006. I had it on and was in my bedroom and I started smelling something odd. I smoked at the time, so I didn't think much of it until I looked over and saw flames shooting out of the top. I ripped the cord out of the wall and picked it up still on fire, ran out of my apartment and threw it in the snow. I rarely if ever leave the room when I have them on now and shut them off if I leave. I also replace them every few seasons and have it plugged into an outlet on its own dedicated circuit I had an electrician friend of mine put in.

 

[Tales and Chronicles]

I had a Black & Decker electric coil heater around 2006. I had it on and was in my bedroom and I started smelling something odd. I smoked at the time, so I didn't think much of it until I looked over and saw flames shooting out of the top. I ripped the cord out of the wall and picked it up still on fire, ran out of my apartment and threw it in the snow. I rarely if ever leave the room when I have them on now and shut them off if I leave. I also replace them every few seasons and have it plugged into an outlet on its own dedicated circuit I had an electrician friend of mine put in.

Yeah, coil heater are a big fire hazard and drain a lot of juice.

 

[R_J_K75]

As with many things marketed to geeks, they do look like the cheapest models possible on the Chinese market slapped with a trendy geeks reference.

Thats why I would question their qualifications.

Not saying they look dangerous, but it's the sort of crap that will stop working after a month (and the cheap plastic cover will have melted since week 1, probably).

Id imagine if there were a lot of incidents of these appliances starting fires they'd be discontinued by now, and I'm sure there aren't any more than a few components to these, they look pretty simple. It's the materials and QC that would worry me.

 

[evildmguy]

Where are the ones made only from the finest frogs? For a cross over event.

We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.