Gamer Love Life

[Bendris Noulg]

As a gamer married to a gamer (and one hot mama, me-ow!), I'll tell you it's not all wine and roses. Sure, you don't have to worry about her not letting you hook up with your buds on Saturday night, but we fight like cats and dogs over bookshelf space.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Attend many gaming conventions, including GenCon. You'll find them.

Then again, it would be nice to find a girl who have shown interest in RPG hobby but is a virgin to it.

That's my wife. She saw the gaming stuff at my apartment when we were dating and said "I ALWAYS wanted to play that game!" She even proved to me later that she was not just saying that (as one ex-girlfriend did) when she showed me the red box Basic D&D stored in the basement of her parents house - still in pristine condition. I started saving for a ring about that time...

She has since learned the game and enjoys it, although not to the obsession level I do.

 

[the Jester]

Jester,

you've met my wife. she doesn't game.

you just need to find someone who is understanding of your hobby. and your love of pugs.

Well, Stacy was totally understanding of it (and she's the one who started my pug affection), but what I want is to be able to share it with her.

 

[dreaded_beast]

I've been with my GF nearly 10 years, with all the ups and downs that go along with it. Yes, we've both heard all the marriage jokes.

Anyways, she knew about my DND hobby for the past 6 years: around 1 year playing and then 1 year off, then finally playing again.

Luckily, she is a very understanding person. She put up with me always "ditching" her on Friday nights for 4 years, so that I could "hang out with a bunch of geeks", hehe.

When I stopped playing with my former group, I think she wanted to know what the big deal was, so I tried to explain the concept of DND to her. Now we have a solo-campaign going on where she is a Half-Elf 3 Monk/1 Sorceress. I consider myself a very zealous gamer, but I am always surprised at how enthusiastic she is when asks if we can play.

Well, I'm not sure what the point of my story was, but good luck in your search and *in a motherly voice* "Just be yourself!"

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

I think it's easier to make a new gamer than to find an old one. My GF had never played before but I could tell she had the gene, just based on the other things I knew she was into. You just have to find someone compatible with the other geeky things in your life. If you limit yourself to girls who play RPGs you won't go far. But if you widen your search to include girls who are into SF and Fantasy books or movies that you enjoy, odds are you'll be able to hook her in eventually. Just take it slow.

If she's seen any of the LotR movies more than three times, and not to coo over Orlando or Viggo, she might be a potential gamer.

Try peppering your conversations with geekisms. If she doesn't furrow her brow when you're stopped by a highway patrolman and say "These aren't the droids you're looking for," she might be a potential gamer.

If you met her in a Buffy chatroom and she was going on about how "Fred has to die" during the third season, she might be a potential gamer.

 

[Viking Bastard]

I've never had trouble with these Gaming vs. Dating clashes. It's just never
come up. I've never even heard of it being a problem, except when it comes
to being about the 'cost' of gaming (products, dice etc.) or the signifant other
being jeallous of the gaming group over the quality time they're 'stealing'.

I guess it has to do with different outlook on the game over here.

 

[DaveStebbins]

I've never had trouble with these Gaming vs. Dating clashes. It's just never come up. I've never even heard of it being a problem, except when it comes to being about the 'cost' of gaming (products, dice etc.) or the signifant other being jeallous of the gaming group over the quality time they're 'stealing'.

My ex-wife didn't mind my gaming when we were going out, or when we were first married. But eventually she started making snide remarks. Her family growing up was very handy/crafty, so her opinion was that if you don't end up with something tangible which you could give as a gift, it's not a "real" hobby. It definitely contributed to my decision to leave.

If only she had shown her true colors before we got married...

 

[Ogre Mage]

Well, Stacy was totally understanding of it (and she's the one who started my pug affection), but what I want is to be able to share it with her.

I think it's great you want to be able to share gaming with your S.O., but I think the most important thing is to find an understanding person. Shared interests are important, but it's fine, even healthy, for two people in a relationship to have some activities they do on their own. If your partner is respectful of your needs, they will understand gaming makes you happy and be happy for you. Frankly, if a S.O. is against your gaming, that is a sign of their own insecurity and/or ignorance. One of the people in our group is married with two kids and his wife still lets him game. He misses about 40% of the sessions due to family obligations, but she knows that having some game time is important to him.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to introduce a potential GF to D&D if you think she has the right qualities to enjoy it and be a good player. I think longtime gamers can usually spot someone who "has the potential." Remember though, that gaming with your S.O. carries its own issues, such as claims from other players that you are favoring your S.O.

 

[Buttercup]

Heck, our eldest is planning a pick-up game of D&D at GenCon.

Is she? That's awesome. You have great kids, Hellhound. They stole the show last year, and not just because they're cute as bugs. They're smart and accomplished, too.

 

[Buttercup]

Most gamer girls I've ever met, aren't exactly best-in-show, if you know what I mean.

And most gamer guys are?