Generally Discouraged (In-Person Gaming)

[Retreater]

Could the organized play day be morphed into an open gaming day? I have found a lot of cross over can happen between board, card, cribbage, etc... players.

I suppose maybe. But I've noticed at various open gaming events I have hosted in the past (whether in my previous role at the library, community theatre fundraisers, etc.) if you don't have a load of people there, there isn't enough to put together a group for anything deep. So you have two people playing Blackjack and not enough people to run an RPG event. I guess I'm not used to seeing enough numbers of people at these events to do multiple games.

 

[Jacob Lewis]

Being in a similar situation myself, I've been coming to terms with the real possibility that I may never play in person again. But there is a major difference in my scenario. I live in a very large city with an active geek/game culture. And even though I won't leave the house most days and stay masked when I do, I can see through the various online social outlets that people are actively looking for others to game. So, if I really wanted, I could.

The thing is, I was always particular about who I would invite to join my personal games. I made more of an effort to cultivate a good group who were not only compatible, but comfortable with everyone at the table to ensure a reasonable chance for a long-term game to endure. Now, I must give greater consideration to everyone's health and welfare, tolerance for accepted norms of our society, and a general respect for everyone around them. These were always considerations, of course, but the current landscape demands higher priority on these on top of everything else. For someone like myself who put a lot of effort before just to get a game or two going, this is now a nerve-wracking endeavor that I feel is no longer worth the effort or the risk. And it really does suck.

I miss the human interaction with others who haven't been locked in with me for the last 2+ years. I hate the indecision and the learning that comes with VTT as an option. And I dislike the majority of interactions I've had with people online who seem to forget how to behave like a human being when they can easily retreat rather than deal with consequences or others.

You have my sympathies, as does everyone else who is struggling with similar issues of the new world.

 

[payn]

And I dislike the majority of interactions I've had with people online who seem to forget how to behave like a human being when they can easily retreat rather than deal with consequences or others.

This is the biggest rub with online anything. I am trying to date right now and the way folks act is really strange to me. Seems folks are easily ready to engage online, but also quick to disengage at a moments notice. It makes forging relationships very difficult since they are so fickle. I notice a great improvement just by adding voice.

I will take a moment and say I had a very good online experience so far. I joined a game with the OP and feel like I can count them as a friend. We have had a chance to try out several games and systems. While I do think we have some disparate tastes in gaming, I really enjoy the sessions. I was thinking the other day how our thoughts and ideas dropped via social media might never have really aligned well, but once you start gaming together, a lot of that goes by the wayside as you just engage the hobby together.

I haven't had to filter my gaming group online yet. Though, I'm really curious how to go about it. In my previous F2F experiences, I would start with organized play and/or open gaming. I'd meet as many folks as I could and the ones I liked best I would pursue further games and more private settings. Gaming in a shop is no biggie, but commitment to a game takes more dedication. This process is turned on its head for online gaming...

 

[Retreater]

This is the biggest rub with online anything. I am trying to date right now and the way folks act is really strange to me. Seems folks are easily ready to engage online, but also quick to disengage at a moments notice. It makes forging relationships very difficult since they are so fickle. I notice a great improvement just by adding voice.

After my divorce I went all the way into online dating - and probably went out with 100+ people. Overall, it was a pretty negative experience, even before the pandemic. I used the opportunity to talk to numerous people about why online dating seemed so different than more "natural" dating - like when I was last on the market in the early 2000s. The common response was that no one respected each other - stereotypically men were pigs and women were inundated with so much attention that they didn't trust anyone. One thing I eventually learned was to always schedule a voice call before a date.
I eventually gave up on dating, just hanging out with friends and going to karaoke and stuff - dressing like a slob and playing games. One night my friends bolted to hang out with another group. I remember that night singing "She F'ing Hates Me" and dedicating it to every woman in the bar. About 30 minutes later, I passed by a table of a woman I'd never seen there before, and stopped just to pay a compliment for her song choice. I was walking away and she struck up a conversation. She was a musician, avid D&D player, and we aligned on politics and religion. And despite years of online dating, talking to over 100 people (with whom I supposedly matched with due to algorithms), I found my wife by saying hi to a stranger.

I will take a moment and say I had a very good online experience so far. I joined a game with the OP and feel like I can count them as a friend. We have had a chance to try out several games and systems. While I do think we have some disparate tastes in gaming, I really enjoy the sessions. I was thinking the other day how our thoughts and ideas dropped via social media might never have really aligned well, but once you start gaming together, a lot of that goes by the wayside as you just engage the hobby together.

Thanks for that. And I'm very thankful for my online gaming - without it there would be little socializing at all in my life. There's just many aspects of face-to-face gaming I really miss.

 

[payn]

After my divorce I went all the way into online dating - and probably went out with 100+ people. Overall, it was a pretty negative experience, even before the pandemic. I used the opportunity to talk to numerous people about why online dating seemed so different than more "natural" dating - like when I was last on the market in the early 2000s. The common response was that no one respected each other - stereotypically men were pigs and women were inundated with so much attention that they didn't trust anyone. One thing I eventually learned was to always schedule a voice call before a date.
I eventually gave up on dating, just hanging out with friends and going to karaoke and stuff - dressing like a slob and playing games. One night my friends bolted to hang out with another group. I remember that night singing "She F'ing Hates Me" and dedicating it to every woman in the bar. About 30 minutes later, I passed by a table of a woman I'd never seen there before, and stopped just to pay a compliment for her song choice. I was walking away and she struck up a conversation. She was a musician, avid D&D player, and we aligned on politics and religion. And despite years of online dating, talking to over 100 people (with whom I supposedly matched with due to algorithms), I found my wife by saying hi to a stranger.

Thanks for that. And I'm very thankful for my online gaming - without it there would be little socializing at all in my life. There's just many aspects of face-to-face gaming I really miss.

Yeah my favorite karaoke bar has been a bust so far in meeting women but a total win for the fun column. Speaking of which, if I ever find myself in your neck of the woods we gotta go out tomcatting.

I did online dating about 8 years ago (met my ex-wife that way). Women were much more decisive and ready to go on an actual date. Now? Generally they want to text back and forth for days. Get very dodgy about actually meeting, and then ghost. Part of it is me being older, nd the pandemic, but I think a big part of it is the text culture that folks have gotten so used to. Small talk with strangers aint no thang. No commitment and you can quit at anytime. Folks dont have a lot of respect, desire, or experience in going for a deeper level of understanding...

 

[practicalm]

Having started RPG groups and board game groups in public spaces over the years, it's never going to happen in just a few sessions.

You start with as many people as you can personally get there and then over time people see and jump in.
The first year of my monthly board game groups were usually my family and maybe one or two other friends. And then, it grew to 10-15 regulars and then 20+

Our most recent D&D group started with a couple of people and then grew over time where I had 8 people show up some days.
Use meetup.com if you can or any free community options for publicity

 

[prabe]

After my divorce I went all the way into online dating - and probably went out with 100+ people. Overall, it was a pretty negative experience, even before the pandemic. I used the opportunity to talk to numerous people about why online dating seemed so different than more "natural" dating - like when I was last on the market in the early 2000s. The common response was that no one respected each other - stereotypically men were pigs and women were inundated with so much attention that they didn't trust anyone. One thing I eventually learned was to always schedule a voice call before a date.
I eventually gave up on dating, just hanging out with friends and going to karaoke and stuff - dressing like a slob and playing games. One night my friends bolted to hang out with another group. I remember that night singing "She F'ing Hates Me" and dedicating it to every woman in the bar. About 30 minutes later, I passed by a table of a woman I'd never seen there before, and stopped just to pay a compliment for her song choice. I was walking away and she struck up a conversation. She was a musician, avid D&D player, and we aligned on politics and religion. And despite years of online dating, talking to over 100 people (with whom I supposedly matched with due to algorithms), I found my wife by saying hi to a stranger.

A few years ago I did a fair amount of online dating--what I called the Meeting Female Humans Project. It went occasionally OK, mostly mediocre. Then I ended up realizing a good friend of mine was compatible with me in ways that seemed relevant.

(us, traveling for our 11th anniversary, this past May--yes, it was snowing)

 

[Endroren]

I'm a librarian, which you'd think would make this the perfect option. Contrarily, in my position in management, I'm no longer allowed to host events - which would be crossing over into the realm of another department and would mean that I would have to do the event "on the clock" and it's frowned upon for me to fraternize with the public in the way gaming would require.

Oh! That stinks. I've got a friend who is a librarian with exactly the same problem. So frustrating that this becomes a blocker. Sorry, man.

 

[TerraDave]

Yeah, I tried promoting the Organized Play game on various social media. I didn't try Reddit - but I'd be surprised if our local gaming had any kind of presence on there. It's certainly inactive on Facebook.

For a while now I have found it the best place to find players, in person or online.

 

[Hussar]

I do play online - three games in fact. The groups include people with whom it's not practical to see in person due to living out of state (or the country). While I do appreciate the groups, I'm just feeling very disconnected from everything. The enthusiasm, involvement, etc., just isn't the same as an in-person experience. Not to mention I have all this terrain, miniatures, and other physical components I'd love to get to use.

I can totally get that. I know that I'd love to have a face to face game again. Good grief, it's been more than 20 years now since I actually threw a physical die. Yikes.