Generally Discouraged (In-Person Gaming)

[Ondath]

After my divorce I went all the way into online dating - and probably went out with 100+ people. Overall, it was a pretty negative experience, even before the pandemic. I used the opportunity to talk to numerous people about why online dating seemed so different than more "natural" dating - like when I was last on the market in the early 2000s. The common response was that no one respected each other - stereotypically men were pigs and women were inundated with so much attention that they didn't trust anyone. One thing I eventually learned was to always schedule a voice call before a date.
I eventually gave up on dating, just hanging out with friends and going to karaoke and stuff - dressing like a slob and playing games. One night my friends bolted to hang out with another group. I remember that night singing "She F'ing Hates Me" and dedicating it to every woman in the bar. About 30 minutes later, I passed by a table of a woman I'd never seen there before, and stopped just to pay a compliment for her song choice. I was walking away and she struck up a conversation. She was a musician, avid D&D player, and we aligned on politics and religion. And despite years of online dating, talking to over 100 people (with whom I supposedly matched with due to algorithms), I found my wife by saying hi to a stranger.

That's a really heartwarming story. And I completely sympathise with your situation. The one thing I wanted to have for the last 10 years was a regular, face-to-face group, and I never really got it. I couldn't get a single game to play from 2012 to 2015 actually, but 5E plunging TTRPGs to mainstream thankfully changed that. I then had an online campaign from 2016 to 2019, and once that was done I was dead set on getting a face-to-face group in my new uni where I started a PhD. I joined the uni's sci-fi and fantasy club, started a group... and the pandemic started. So I never had a proper face to face group, and I can completely understand the things you lose in online play being a dealbreaker. Playing in person makes it easier for everyone to concentrate, and being able to interact physically people (or just read their nonverbal cues more easily) makes everything so much easier.

I'm almost certain what I say won't be news to you, but have you tried getting the online experience as close to face-to-face as possible? Things like asking that everyone has their camera on throughout the game, asking for no phones or other tabs while playing, taking breaks more frequently so that Zoom fatigue won't make everyone miserable, or using more lightweight VTTs like Owlbear Rodeo so that people don't get lost in the automation but focus on the immediate experience. I've tried several of these, and while it never fully replaces the energy you get from being in the same room as other people, I think it helps to some extent.

 

[AnotherGuy]

I can totally get that. I know that I'd love to have a face to face game again. Good grief, it's been more than 20 years now since I actually threw a physical die. Yikes.

You have no roleplaying buddies in Japan? Is it the language barrier or are TTRPG not a thing there?

 

[thullgrim]

When the pandemic hit my regular group went online. Online game is better than no game but it is definitely not better than in person gameing. I started running at the local game store a couple weeks ago. I brought two from my regular group and roped in the store owner. We play three right now using savage worlds.

I’ve managed to grab a couple of the D&D players for a session or two but nothing stuck so it’s just the three of us. It limits what I can run but is still better than online.

I live in rural Texas. My city size if about 100k. Declining and aging population. Eventually I’ll probably end up with 5 players I think but most people are really interested in 5e and unfortunately that game doesn’t do it for me.

Maybe I should run some 5e to rope players in and then pitch something else after a decent period of time.

 

[payn]

Maybe I should run some 5e to rope players in and then pitch something else after a decent period of time.

This. Im not a huge organized play guy but its a great way to meet gamers and get something you do like going.

 

[billd91]

I may actually start getting back to regular face to face gaming. I did play a single session with my biweekly Saturday group right after the first booster came out and I did run AL at Gamehole Con. But the weekly Thursday game has been mainly online - but will now be going mainly in-person at a friend's new house (where the air exchange is pretty good). So I'm actually excited but also a bit worried too - not about catching COVID, but because my wife is a long hauler and I'd be leaving her home. She's not completely helpless, obviously, but she has a limited endurance for being on her feet and walking around. She should be fine for a few hours, and the friend's house is only a few miles away, so we should be OK...

 

[Retreater]

This. Im not a huge organized play guy but its a great way to meet gamers and get something you do like going.

This is why I tried Organized Play as a way to meet new players. That's how I put together my last face-to-face group - meeting for D&D Encounters back in 4E.
But if they won't come in for that, who knows what to do next?

 

[payn]

This is why I tried Organized Play as a way to meet new players. That's how I put together my last face-to-face group - meeting for D&D Encounters back in 4E.
But if they won't come in for that, who knows what to do next?

Gonna take time, until then, you gotta go online

 

[Blue]

The fact that no one shows up for events is disheartening - I wish there were some around. My 19yo daughter is looking for a local gaming group to play face to face and the FLGS has no events, no gaming night, no oragnized play, not even a bulletin board where GMs advertise their games. Local library doesn't either, and the librarians (keepers of all knowledge - respect) don't know of one. Heck, I have a thread asking for suggestions about other places to look.

Online there's lots of matchmaking, but in person really has dried up.

 

[thullgrim]

@Retreater you might the various discords as well. Most have a looking for group section. I know you’ve tried PF2. There’s a pretty active discord community for Pathfinder groups.

 

[Retreater]

Thanks for the suggestions. The thing about any "looking for group" sections, Meetups, etc., is that the default is big cities.
I have to drive 2.5 hours to get to a city that any of you will have even heard of (like a population of 600K).