• NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.

Gospog's Pulp Heroes Story Hour!

Someone's been sleeping in my bed.

The sled makes rapid progress over the frozen countryside. Mr. Quell inventories the gear provided on the sled, and notes that no weapons have been made available to the team.

The land is rugged and beautiful, and each hero is moved by the wild and untamed nature of the land. Except for Jericho Clinton, who is perturbed by the scarcity of animals to shoot in this area.

Before long, Johnny, holding the reins of the sled, spots the cave mouths ahead. Within moments, they have closed the distance and stand in front of the entrances to a dozen caves. The interiors of the caves are quite dark, and nothing can be seen in any of them.

Jackson and Antonio waste no time in scouring the ground for tracks. Jackson finds some tracks leading to a cave, but can’t discern if the tracks were made by someone (or something) entering or leaving the cave. He points the tracks out to Antonio who confirms that the tracks were not made by a human being.

After a quick conference, the group inches into the cave pointed to by the tracks. It’s dry inside, and dark. Mr. Quell and the Turtle agree that this cave may be located near one or more natural hot springs. Antonio grunts in agreement. He’s seen that sort of thing before.

It’s dark in the cave, and Antonio, the Turtle, and Jericho, being foremost in position, hear a noise from the back of the cave. It sounds like something heavy is moving. Moving slowly, Antonio lights his lanterns. The lantern casts a warm glow, but falls short of illuminating the cave’s other occupant. He inches forward…

The lantern light falls upon two polar bear cubs laying in the corner of the cave. They are tumbling around, pawing playfully at each other, totally ignorant of the humans in their midst.

TURTLE: Oh, they’re adorable!

The Turtle rushes over, pulling out some more dried fish, and making an immediate good impression.

JACKSON: I wouldn’t –

TURTLE: Oh, no, they’re fine, we’re friends now.

More dried fish is distributed, and it does indeed seem like the bear cubs are smitten. Antonio whirls around and starts jogging towards the cave entrance, where Mr. Quell is slouching against the wall.

Mr. QUELL: What’s you hurry? They’re just cubs.

ANTONIO: I’m a little worried about when Mama’s going to show up.

Antonio’s words are prophetic. A shadow falls across the cave entrance. A giant polar bear is stalking into the cave. It’s muzzle is covered in blood. Every educated man in 1927 knows that polar bears yearn to eat the flesh of men. The bear growls…
 
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Furry Hostage?

Jackson doesn’t wait for the bear to act, he charges at it, but is knocked back by a swipe of it’s mighty claws. His parka is shredded, and he ends up on his back in front of the enraged beast!

Johnny Chang leaps to his rescue, stiffening two fingers and jamming them into the bears’ flank!

JOHNNY: Pressure point strike!

Johnny fails to connect with a pressure point under the hundreds of pounds of bear fat, but he does get the bears’ attention.

Meanwhile, Jericho Clinton has decided to take matters into his own hands. He pulls out one of his revolvers and shoots one of the cubs! The baby bear explodes in a shower of gore and fur! The Turtle is drenched in cub blood.

The group pauses, mouths hanging open in shock.

JERICHO: What?

The mother bear screams, the cavern walls tremble with the sound of it. She is furious!

Mr. Quell takes this opportunity to slip outside the cave.

MR. QUELL: I can see, hee, that I am not needed here, yes.

The Turtle rounds on Jericho. Her steely eyes bore into him, making even this hardened mercenary squirm.

TURTLE: If you don’t point that gun where it will be of some actual use, you and I are going to have a problem, mister. Now, listen, shoot the roof of the cave, over the passage, trapping the bear outside, you got me?

JERICHO: Yeah, yeah, I got ya. Sheesh!

Meanwhile, Antonio has produced a shotgun and fired a blast at the rampaging beast! The shotgun blast fails to take the animal down, but wounds it just the same.

Outside, Mr. Quell finds what he is looking for: a very large, sharp icicle.

Inside, Jackson scrambles back across the cave floor and regains his footing. He pulls out his revolver.

Meanwhile, Johnny is no longer content with learning where the pressure points on a polar bear are. He flips into the air, intending to plant a kick on the back of the bears’ neck. He slips, sending his foot smashing into an overhanging icicle. The roof over the cave entrance starts to collapse!

Jackson sees the impending danger and backs up further, shooting at the giant polar bear, but missing.

Mr. Quell charges at the polar bear from behind, intending to spear it with his giant icicle! His icicle, however, is smashed by the ice and rocks falling from the roof of the cave. He looks up and his face goes from pasty to pale.

Johnny Chang back flips away from the falling roof. He lands, ready for action!

Meanwhile, Antonio has seen the bind that Mr. Quell is in. Mr. Quell is outside the cave, the rest of the group is inside the cave. The bear is blocking the entrance, which is collapsing.

Antonio drops his shotgun and grabs his grappling hook and line. He tosses it with precision, landing it between the bears’ legs, where it slides to a stop in front of Mr. Quell.

Quell grabs ahold of the hook, and is pulled under the bear to safety inside the cavern!

The bear sees the collapsing roof and backs out of the cave as it totally collapses!

The group pauses, breathing hard and making sure everyone is in the cave.

TURTLE: Hey…

The Turtle has spotted a large fissure in the wall of the cave. Dismissing it before as a natural feature, it is revealed that the crack in fact leads to a tunnel beneath the cave. Antonio checks to ensure its’ safety, and the group started their descent.

The remaining polar bear cub follows the Turtle closely.

JERICHO: Hey, Turtle, step aside.

She knocks his revolver from his hand.

TURTLE: Don’t you dare hurt Snowball! Come on, baby, follow me!

A few eyes are rolled and glances exchanged, but no one says a word.

ANTONIO: Well, you know what they say, it’s always easier when the food follows you around before you cook it.

They descend into the bowels of the Earth!
 

Re: Furry Hostage?

Gospog said:

Jackson doesn’t wait for the bear to act, he charges at it, but is knocked back by a swipe of it’s mighty claws. His parka is shredded, and he ends up on his back in front of the enraged beast!

Johnny Chang leaps to his rescue, stiffening two fingers and jamming them into the bears’ flank!

JOHNNY: Pressure point strike!


For humors sake I have to make a little correction:
Jackson took the first shot of the bear with his usual unshakeable fortitude, but then Mr. Chang (who must have been shaken because of the charging bear) struck out and in the confusion of battle actually struck Jackson in the neck with his first pressure point strike. The polar bear must have been greatly impressed with Mr. Changs' prowess, because the bear decided to choose Mr. Chang as it's next playmate.

Although Mr. Chang is a "great guy"; according to Jackson, he wishes Mr. Chang would learn the difference between a polar bear and 6 foot tall man. That being said Mr. Chang did say he was sorry.:D
 


The tunnels angles sharply down, and the heroes can hear rushing water nearby.

Over the next two hours of walking, the air goes from being cold, to warm, to uncomfortably hot. Jackson is smiling, much more comfortable in the stifling heat.

Soon, the parkas and gloves are shed, and the sound of rushing water fills the passage. There is a light up ahead.

The passage ends. The group is standing at the edge of a cliff. They are looking out over a valley lost to time. The vast cavern is filled with a tropical jungle!

To the right of the group, an underground river that ran parrallel to thier passage spills out into an enormous waterfall. The waterfall cascades down to form a river in the tropical valley below.

Colorful birds shriek from lush green trees. Animals scurry and skulk in the shadows cast by what appears to be a miniature sun!

In the deep vegetation, something is pushing over trees, moving steadily away from the cliff. Something huge.

EVERYONE: Whoa!

Something catches the Turtles' eye: a scrap of white cloth has been tied to a jutting bit of rock on the cavern wall. The cloth has clearly been torn from a lab coat. The kind of lab coat worn by Dr. Heller!

TURTLE (sarcastically): I think it's a clue.

ANTONIO (pointing): Look, in the jungle, there's another scrap of cloth.

Mr. QUELL: But, hee, how do we descend into the jungle?

Jackson points. Straight down. Steep stairs have been cut into the cliff face. They are slick with the spray of the waterfall.

JACKSON: We walk.

Weapons are readied. With never a backwards glance, the group begins to descend the stairs...
 

The heroes reach the floor of the valley. The cliffs they so recently stood upon are obscured by the dense vegetation. Loud bird cries almost drown out the sound of the waterfall rushing in the distance.

Antonio and the Turtle spot another strip of white cloth in the distance. They are clearly being led. But to where? And by whom?

Several minutes later, the group has trudged their way to the next piece of cloth (except for Jackson, who seems to glide through the jungle as if he were born to it). Wasting no time, Mr. Quell and Johnny Chang search the surrounding jungle for the next strip of cloth and find it quickly.

The next strip of cloth lies in the jungle as well, tied to a tree separately from the group by a huge gorge. Rushing water can be heard faintly as the group approaches the gorge. Antonio and Jackson agree that this gorge was no doubt cut, over time, by a river being fed by the waterfall.

Luckily for the group, a crude bridge spans the chasm. It is made of strips of wood held together by frayed and knotted ropes.

MR. QUELL: After you all, of course, hee.

JOHNNY CHANG: We're wasting time! Follow me!

Johnny runs out onto the bridge, easily avoiding all of the missing boards and heavily frayed ropes. In fact, he concentrates so closely on the bridge that he does not see the winged shadow gliding up behind him.

JERICHO: Watch out, Chang!!!

It's almost too late for the inscrutable oriental! A large lizard-like bird creature swoops in from above. It's talons extend, razor sharp, and try to grab onto the hapless hero!

At the last second, Johnny drops off the side of the bridge, grabbing the edge of a particularly broken board and spinning it around. This not only take him out of harms' way, but the broken board spins on it's rope, arcing around to whack the bird-lizard on the head!

The bird lizard is momentarily stunned. Antonio pulls out his shotgun, and lets looses with a blast at the flying menace. The gunshot seems to have little effect.

Jericho Clinton was the first to draw his weapons. He levels his revolvers and unloads into the prehistoric predator, shredding it's head and much of its' body. Thew remains plunge into the chasm.

Johnny Chang flips back onto the bridge with great relief.

JOHNNY: Whew!

Before long, the whole group is across the chasm and standing by the latest cloth clue. The next cloth strip is spotted, tied to some sort of tall pole, carved with fearsome images. Wasting no time, the group begins to once again hack through the jungle towards their goal...
 

The "totem pole" was about eight feet tall. Hideous faces were carved into it's entire length, facing in all four compass directions.

Mr. Quell and Antonio studied the pole with intense interest.

MR. QUELL: This face here. Quite refined looking, yes.

ANTONIO: Ugh! That one looks like you!

The rest of the group is resting in the clearing where the pole stands. The Turtle is watching Snowball, her constant ursine companion, drink from a nearby stream.

The hairs on the back of Antonio's neck rise. He whirls around, gun drawn.

ANTONIO: What the-

A dozen dark skinned men have surrounded the group. They stand mere feet away from the heroes. They are clearly natives of the jungle, dressed in simple animal skins, but the rifles that they hold are frighteneingly modern!

The natives hold their rifles at the ready. it would appear that they know how to use them. They seem to be dissuading the group from moving. The apparent leader shouts in a language foreign to any man who dwells on the surface.

"Zubang topinkee Moogaza!"

JACKSON: Antonio, any clue?

ANTONIO: Um, maybe. It sounds like a mix of several primitive dialects. (to the natives) "Ippungowa godoka patoot?"

This seems to calm the natives somewhat. Rifle barrels are lowered slightly. Then, however, they catch sight of Mr. Quell touching the totem pole!

The rifles are raised again, this time pointed at the stunted little man. But Mr. Quell, sensing the danger, whirls quickly, revealing his face. The same face that adrorns several points of the pole!

The natives stare in shock. Rifles are dropped. A few of them mutter "Moogaza".

All around the clearing, things relax. Antonio enters into an intense conversation with the native leader, testing his linguistic skills to their limit.

ANTONIO: Well, they think Quell looks like one of their gods, Moogaza, the sun god. I think that's a good omen, according to them.

JOHNNY: What about the rifles?

ANTONIO: Yeah, that's the bad news. They say the guns were a gift from "the skull men" or something close to that. Not a big mystery there. They want us to come back to their village and speak to someone, or something. Not sure which.

TURTLE: Well, let's go then. Hey, look!

The natives are leading the group to their village. In that very direction, the Turtle spots a strip of white cloth in the distance.

TURTLE: I guess we'll take the hint?

EVERYONE: Ha ha!

It is a long walk in the hot jungle before the natives' village comes into view. It is composed of simple huts surrounded by a tall wooden palisade. The village, however, fades into obscurity when viewed in front of the edifice behind it.

Behind the village is a huge zigguraut, apparently made entirely of gold! It stretches high into the sky, reflecting light from the glowing orb in the sky (Moogaza) and lighting up the cavern around it.

Antonio has a hushed conference with the lead native.

ANTONIO: Oh, great.

JACKSON: What is it?

ANTONIO: Well, it's some sort of temple, I think. He keeps referring to it as The Zigguraut of Terror !
 

Sorry for the delay! (RL injury)

The heroes and their native "guides" approached the palisade gate. Two dozen more natives swarmed out to meet them, all men, and half of them also carrying rifles.

The leader of the hunting party has a hurried conference with the leader of the "guards". The group are ushered into the village. The village is a scene from another time, long, long ago. Simple mud huts provide shelter. The visitors spot a handful of building built with a wooden frame of some kind. As they progress through the village they are met by pointing, shouting and wide-eyed stares.

It is not without a little ceremony that they are brought before three older natives, standing by a large, long hut. These village elders, two men and a woman, are adorned with several exotic feathers and wear necklaces of giant teeth. The heroes remember something huge pushing down trees in the jungle, and swallow uncomfortably.

An exchange of words begins, clearly involving the outsiders. Antonio does his best to keep up wit the bizarre toungue, never heard on the surface of the Earth!

ANTONIO: I think they're talking about the "skull men" again, and some kind of "white coat"? it's hard to say, exactly.

A sinister voice cuts through the close jungle air.
"Very impressive Mr. Agostino. Very impressive indeed."

The speaker is a tall, rangy man, with pale skin and black eyebrows arching over eyes like a snake's. A pencil-thin mustache sat on top of a mouth pulled into a permanent sneer. This newcomer wore a white lab coat, like the one Dr. Heller favors, but his sports suspicious red stains that no soap could ever wash out. A variety of wires and metal devices peeked out of the sinister man's pockets. They bore the look of weapons rather than tools.

JOHNNY: Dr. Asmodeus!

ASMODEUS: Yes, Mr. Chang. it's good to see that my new...employees have arrived safely.

JACKSON: Hand over Heller...now.

ASMODEUS: But of course. Just as soon as you do me a small favor. Should be really simple for a group of "brave heroes" such as yourselves. I just need you to retrieve a certain item from me.

ANTONIO: That ziggurat looks almost South American in origin. Could it be? Could he want-

TURTLE: The Mask of Quetzalquatl?!?

ASMODEUS: Exactly. And you'll get it for me! if you want to see your dear Dr. heller again! Needless to say, the mask is in the Ziggurat of Terror. Do be good pawns and fetch it out.

MR. QUELL: My dear doctor, hee, why is it you have not retrieved the mask yourself?

ASMODEUS: Do you take me for a fool? I have already lost more than half a dozen men attempting to breach the temple inside. No, you'll be doing it for me. You are...professionals. You are...expendable.
Now go! My gift of rifles has allowed us access to the temple, but not for very long. Enter the Temple of Terror, retrieve the Mask of Quetzalquatl...or you'll never see Dr. Heller alive again! Ha ha ha ha ha ha
 

Wow. Another cool game from Gospog. What a surprise.:rolleyes:

I can't believe my horrid luck. I really need to stop missing out on this stuff.

Oh, well perhaps when i return to Mass i'll try and harrass my way into a game.;)
 
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The Ziggurat of Terror!

The Ziggurat of Terror loomed before them. It's entrance was, of course, shaped like a human skull and the heroes were forced to walk into its' mouth to enter.

The walked cautiously through a short entrance hall. The entranceway is decorated in carvings of people worshipping the sun and feathered serpents. Other carvings show people being thrown down the sides of the ziggurat, and others having their hearts torn out. (not in that order, though)

The hall ends at a pair of what were giant bronze doors. They have clearly been blasted open. Jericho Clinton kneels by the wreckage and holds something up for the rest of the group to see.

JERICHO: Dynamite.

Just inside the former doors, they make a grisly discovery. One of the Legion of Dead Men was caught in the blast. Even in death, his skin and organs are transparent. The heroes gaze down on a skeleton. A skeleton covered in blood!

Suddenly, the stunned silence is broken by the sound of booted feet running towards them...from inside the temple! Instinct honed in countless battles takes over, and everyone takes cover, drawing their weapons.

Five members of the Legion of Dead Men come screaming down the hall...literally! They are clearly running from something. Their weapons have been discarded and they are not even looking where they are going, each man keeping one eye over his shoulder, open wide in fear.

The Turtle's eyes narrow as she notices that each man is covered in miniscule cuts and lacerations. Curious.

The Legion members bowl in to the waiting heroes and are taken totally unawares. Jericho Clinton gets their attention by level ling his handguns and filling the hall with lead. Before the villains can come to a stop, Johnny Chang has tripped one and the man is now prone on the ground.

Two more Legion members fall prey to the ambush and soon Mr Quell and the Turtle are interrogating three captives, securely bound with rope.

The men are gibbering in terror. Mr Quell tries some eastern calming techniques to sooth them, but to no avail. Finally, the Turtle throws up her hands in frustration.

TURTLE: Let me try this my way.

Stepping forward, she delivers a devastating kick to the crotch of the center captive.

TURTLE: Talk!

After the sobbing subsides, the prisoner begins to speak.

PRISONER: You'll never get out alive you know. They're small, but they'll get you. They'll kill you. They'll kill us all! Aaagh!

The heroes decide no more can be learned by questioning these minion of evil. The Legion members are cut loose, and the group prepares to head deeper in to the Temple of Terror!
 

Into the Woods

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