Great Game Quotes

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

AIDEN: “Use the Elemental attack!”
JONAS: “Which Element?”
AIDEN: “Earth.”
URIEL: “Wind.”
MISHA: “HEART!”
(Two points and personal embarrassment for those that get that joke)

Go Captain Planet!



Anyway...

Our current group consists of a cocky swashbuckler/thunder guide (think great white hunter), a wizard who's a professor at a university, a greedy halfling catburgler, and some other (saner) NPCs. This is our battlecry:

"Honor, Glory, Treasure, Tenure!"

 

[Dias Ex Machina]

MIKE: "I tell them to stop fighting."
GM: "What do you say?"
MIKE: "Hey you...STOP FIGHTING!"
GM: "Make your diplomacy roll."
MIKE: "22"
GM: "Your diplomacy roll translates your speech to say something better."

CHRIS: "Can you call for help?"
CONAN: "HELP!!"
CHRIS: "I could have done that!!"

CAM: "Okay…by the end of the night, you all end up at the same place..."
CONAN: "...Prison?"

CONAN: "I never wanted to fling poop in your eyes more."

GM: “Is there anything you would like to do before the final battle?”
URIEL: “Can I take Weapon Focus and drop Improved Unarmed Strike?”
GM: “No…you can’t remove a feat and add another.”
URIEL: “Its not removing a feat and adding another…its…changing a feat…”

MISHA: “Can I use my STR instead of Cha for Intimidate?”
GM: “How?”
MISHA: “I just lift stuff…I AM SOOO POWERFUL!!”
JONAS: “Oh my god, he bench pressed Jim!”
AIDEN: “Who’s Jim?”
EDWIN: “Jim could be a dragon…”
URIEL: “…Or a real fat guy.”

 

[Darkwolf71]

Wolf: This is awesome, we're all gonna die!

This was after everyone else realized what I had known as soon as the outer two of three entrances were trapped. (That's right Ginny, we're in the Tomb of Horrors. ) No deaths yet, but the rogue just lost all of his equipment. hahahahaha

 

[Voadam]

Zaxxon: "All right, go out on the bridge and pretend to talk to the troll. We'll be right behind you invisible, since I speak troll and you don't I'll do the talking, you just have to make eloquent gestures and look commanding. We're drow they'll submit to us."

Leviathan: "All right."

They walk out on the bridge Leviathan raises his arms and catches the attention of the trolls

Zaxxon: <Troll>"Hail trolls!</Troll>
Zaxxon: <whisper>"point to your arms now as I say how mighty a warrior you are with the strength of giants from your powerful drow magics."</whisper>
Leviathan smiles and gestures pointing at his arms.
Zaxxon: <Troll>"My bones are crunchy and my marrow is sweet! I offer you your choice of my arms to feast upon in return for letting me cross the bridge!"</Troll>
DM Troll: <Troll>"Really? Sure."</Troll>
DM "The trolls start walking out onto the bridge towards you Leviathan, grinning broadly."
Zaxxon: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."
Leviathan: <whisper>"What?"</whisper>
Zaxxon: "Nothing, keep smiling. Bwa ha, ha, ha."
Leviathan: still smiling broadly <whisper>"Really, what's so funny?"</whisper>
Zaxxon: "Ha, ha, ha. Oh you're going to want to draw your swords now, they're going to attack."
Leviathan: "!@#$. I knew I never should have trusted you."

 

[MarauderX]

"You made a druid with an 8 wisdom?!? Are you crazy??"
"Like a fox..."

 

[Dias Ex Machina]

Zaxxon: "All right, go out on the bridge and pretend to talk to the troll. We'll be right behind you invisible, since I speak troll and you don't I'll do the talking, you just have to make eloquent gestures and look commanding. We're drow they'll submit to us."

This was funny on its own, but who would name their character after a coin-op shooter.



Chris draws his sword.
CHRIS: “I never give up my weapon.”
CONAN: “So what’s so great about your sword?”
Foom!! The blade erupts in flames. Chris lets is burn for a moment before deactivating…
CONAN: “Okay, then…”

CHRIS: “I throw my sword into the wall. Maybe that will deter them.”
GM: “Make an intimidation roll.”
CHRIS: “11”
GM: “OK, the sword passes through the wall and into the bathroom.”
CHRIS: “What?!”
CONAN: “Yeah, some help you guys are, He bought a round of drinks and he threw his sword into the washroom.”
CHRIS: “I was not aware the walls were that bad.”
CONAN: “You threw the sword into the can…OCCUPIED!!! OCCUPIED!!”

GM: “Okay the final blow of a flurry is dealt and the Hydra dies.”
CECE: “I want an autopsy.”
CONAN: “Why?”
CECE: “I want to know which one of us killed it!”
GM: “Okay…hmm…oddly enough it drowned…”

CHRIS: “Rocks float.”
CONAN: “Do they?”
CHRIS: “Very small rocks float.”
GM: “Some volcanic rocks float.”
SCHUYLER: “Fossilized dung floats…”
…no response from anyone…

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

AIDEN: “Oh, yeah, we’re up to 11 Artifacts now--”
URIEL: "--and together, they form DEVASTATOR, the most powerful of all Decepticons!”

Heh, one of the Eberron adventures, we were down in Xen'drik with these pieces of stuff, and I was joking that they'd merge and form Devastator.

Spoiler

And then they did.

I started crying.

Brad

 

[Michael Silverbane]

Our characters, having just emerged from an ancient Sith temple with some sort of evil artifact, are confronted by some NPC locals who think it's a Bad Idea to take the evil artifact away from the ancient sith temple...

NPC: It's tainted by the dark side of the force.
Jansen: Don't worry, that'll wash right off.

Later
silver

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Its not mine, but I've loved it since I first heard it...

"Eh, I've been killed by worse."

 

[Voadam]

This was funny on its own, but who would name their character after a coin-op shooter.

Adolescent boys.