MechaPilot
Explorer
Who said anything about a player buying a book with the assumption that it would be allowed?
I know I certainly didn't.
Players purchase books with the hopes of using the content. They purchase books to collect them. They purchase books to get ideas for their characters or to save for later when it's their turn to be the DM.
If the player is purchasing the book as a collector, or to use later when it's that player's turn to DM, then whether the player's current DM looks at it is irrelevant. DM review is also irrelevant if the player wants to use the book to get ideas for her characters; ideas can be mined from anywhere. The only part that's relevant to the DM reviewing the material is if the player wants to use that book in her current DM's game. If that is the reason the player is buying the book, then buying it without checking with the DM first is a mistake, and hopefully the player kept her receipt.
Of course a DM is free to be a jerk, if he or she wants, by not caring about what interests his or her players or what they went through to get their hands on a book. Jerk DMs are part of the game too, and they serve a valuable purpose: to teach players who to avoid gaming with.
Everyone is free to be a jerk. However, saying "no" doesn't make the DM a jerk. If the DM had not informed the player of the source limitations beforehand, then that's a separate issue. Also, it just flat out doesn't matter what a player had to do to get her hands on a book. There is no more or less deference owed if the player A) simply bought it in a normal transaction, or B) had to scour several bookstores, used book ads, and online sites to find the book. What a person is willing to do or pay to own something is on that person and that person alone.
Funny...my post advised DMs to review content in lieu of flatly refusing a player for the sake of refusing a player.
I'm not exactly sure how a DM is supposed to give "due consideration" (your words, mind) to a product neither the DM or the player owns, but I don't know, maybe you have psychic powers that other DMs aren't blessed with?
Yeah, you framed it a liiittle differently in your previous post. The way you framed it before made it seem as if the DM owed the player a look at the material simply because the player spent money on it. No DM owes any player a look at anything just because the player bought it. If a player feels that $20-$40 is a significant expense, and if that player is buying the book specifically to use the options therein in her current DM's game, then checking with the DM first only makes good sense. If the DM doesn't know what's in the book, the DM can go to the store with the player and they can look at it together. The DM can also talk with other DMs she knows (and hopefully trusts/respects) to find out their opinion on the material. She can also go on forums like this and ask other DMs what they think to try to see if there is a general consensus.