Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within

Dog Moon

Adventurer
My mom wears this smock at work. Apparently, as she works comes across items that are out of place. Sometimes small items go in a pocket. This morning while going through her pockets she pulled out a spoon with a price tag still on it. I said " you shoplifted a spoon." I talked to her a moment ago she said she was wandering around looking at what she was going to have to do today. I said "And return the spoon you stole." She said "I didn't steal it."

😹😹😹
I remember I got into shoplifting for a brief time when I was in my mid-teens. Ironically, it started out as an honest mistake. I was looking through the Commons/Uncommons box of Magic cards, had like 20 cards I was planning on legitimately purchasing, continued walking around the store, got tired of holding them in my hand so I placed them in my pocket and after browsing for a bit, left. It wasn't until I was on the bus that I realized what I had done. And I was like "Huh, that was easy". Ended when I took something from Target, alarm sounded (though no one came after me). I stood at the bus stop down the street, waiting for the cops to come, my heart racing... I didn't feel safe until I was home and that was the last time I ever did that again. All that because of something really stupid too. Like a double pack of deodorant or something like that.

Whew, I'm getting old. All that happened like 20 years ago!

Edit: Not trying to make it sound like it's the beginning of your mother's criminal career... just that totally innocent yoinking reminded me of things I had done in my past.
 

log in or register to remove this ad

Aeson

Legend
I get it. She's 72. Stuff slips her mind. She saw the spoon somewhere it didn't belong and intended to take it back where it did belong and forgot.
 

Aeson

Legend
I've been thinking of a halfling gunslinger named Ryle Kittenhouse. Neutral evil? He'll be an NPC. While a gunslinger, he won't be very good at it. Not real bright, and a coward.
 

My mom wears this smock at work.

😹😹😹
770673ffc8690391ce62348330ffc8d5.gif
 









Dog Moon

Adventurer
My dumas sister tested positive for Covid. She's been fully vaccinated. Now I have to worry that my mom brought it home to me. :censored:
She can't be that dumb... she's been fully vaccinated!

On a side note, was supposed to hang out with a friend this week, but even though she has been fully vaccinated... she has now gotten Covid... for the second time... :(
 

Aeson

Legend
She can't be that dumb... she's been fully vaccinated!

On a side note, was supposed to hang out with a friend this week, but even though she has been fully vaccinated... she has now gotten Covid... for the second time... :(
Which surprised me, to be honest. She's so right wing she can't even make left turns when driving. Her husband is not vaccinated and experiencing symptoms.
 

Aeson

Legend
I heard a man say out of his face hole with utter sincerity, that quantum computers operate by tapping into other parallel universes to power them.

We are DOOMED if the guests on Coast to Coast AM ever get anything right.
 
Last edited:

Aeson

Legend
Lots of crazy going on the last few years. I often wonder how I or we keep going. In the last 10 years I've seen and experienced things I thought and hoped I'd never see. Every year I hope this year will be different, and it is. Somehow something new seems to throw more poo in the fan. Outside my little world it's just getting scarier. Within my little world the poo continues to pile. While I'm not as low on the pile I once was, it still seems to be steep smelly climb. I can look back and see how far I've gone. I'm getting more fearful of the future, yet I keep planning for there to be one. When does it end?
 





Level Up!

An Advertisement

Advertisement4

Top