Harassment in gaming

[Dannyalcatraz]

You mean, other than to emphasize the -whiteness- of the attackers...

Because they

1) are primarily white, and

2) she points out similar behavior leveled against POCs, a.k.a. minorities.

and to state that most every other male in the hobby was a coward?

Because they allow visible public harassment to continue without comment.

Then to emphasize the alleged "omnipresence" of the harassment?

How many female ENWorlders who have participated in this thread have claimed they have NOT had similar experiences? I'm thinking the number is between 0 and 1.

Again, it may be exaggeration, but seemingly...unfortunately...not by much.

 

[Rottle]

As one of the people who has described incidents and resolutions, I find your statement mystifying.

I don't want to get distracted by arguements over whether a claim one poster makes is exactly true or even verifiable is all. I simply can not know and prove with any degree of certainty that what another poster says is true. I would simply like to focus instead on solutions and not get distracted by arguing if specific events happened. I mean no offense to those who have posted events that support the belief this happens. It simply seems we all agree this is a problem, so why let debate about poster x's claim be a distraction. So I am suggesting we just move to how we help when it does happen.

 

[billd91]

and..? Your point..?

The point is the Star-Ledger's data suggest that male criminal behavior in this regard is a bigger problem than female criminal behavior (by a factor of 3 to 1). If the courts (juries and judges) also perceive that, it'll lead to longer sentences.

When a woman is unwilling to come forth to testify, it is because the judicial system is going to victimize them all over again, (the BS liberal metanarrative says).

You got data saying that's not true? That women aren't feeling victimized by the judicial system? That they aren't going to face resistance from the police, they aren't going to face a cross-examination from the defense that will blame them for their own attack?

When men are unwilling to come forth to testify, its their fault they don't get justice (the same metanarrative says)

In the very specific topic you brought up, statutory rape by an adult, analysis suggests boys are substantially less likely to feel they were victimized in the first place. For those who feel that way, they aren't interested in obtaining justice - that's a far cry from being intimidated away from seeking it, something the boys who do feel victimized also have to struggle with.

 

[Springheel]

It has been said, repeatedly, that this is a discussion about the harassment of women in gaming.

Now, because the topic merits discussion does not mean that the topic of sexual harassment of men in gaming, and different kinds of harassment of men in gaming in general, is verboten. It just means it's a distraction in this thread.

If that's the case, maybe someone should rename the thread from "Harasment in Gaming" to something that specifies only female harasment should be discussed.

 

[cmad1977]

If that's the case, maybe someone should rename the thread from "Harasment in Gaming" to something that specifies only female harasment should be discussed.

Or people who don't particularly care about women being harassed/threatened/abused in our community by members of our community could refrain from posting in the thread about a topic they don't care about.

 

[Eltab]

... I would simply like to focus instead on solutions ... So I am suggesting we just move to how we help when it does happen ...

The process is not as difficult as you (in the plural, not you personally) are making it out to be:
When you see something happening, STAND UP.

It's rather odd being the / a guy who offers solutions to IRL events, but keeps hearing from others "what can / should we do?"
Has it not occurred to folks that they can just imitate me? Are folks conditioned to expect a certain process (meetings, activists holding protests, position papers, Official Announcements, whatever) and they won't move until that all is done? Is there somebody who has to "go first" before folks will follow?

 

[MechaPilot]

The process is not as difficult as you (in the plural, not you personally) are making it out to be:
When you see something happening, STAND UP.

If there was the awareness of the problem and the will to "STAND UP," wouldn't we be seeing more people recounting times when they stood up against harassment happening in their presence? Or more people recounting a time when they were harassed and someone stood up for them? Or even recounting times when they saw someone else stand up for another someone else who was being harassed?

I've said repeatedly in these threads that a lot of people say things like "I wouldn't tolerate that happening in front of me." And that's great. I think that's the page we should all be on. However, in contrast to people like myself and @Elf Witch posting our harassment experiences I can't really recall any accounts of incidents where someone stood up for someone else who was being harassed. @tomBitonti mentioned being involved in two incidents. From the context of his post, I assume he meant in a manner where he intervened on the part of the harassed (though there was no details given as to how he intervened or how well it was received by the people being harassed or by other bystanders, and I won't push him to give those details if he doesn't want to).

It just seems to me that most people, particularly gamers who often have a history of being picked on, have much more of a "keep your head down," "don't make waves," "don't get involved" type of mentality than they do a "hey, that's not right, I have to do/say something" mentality.

 

[tomBitonti]

Because they

1) are primarily white, and

2) she points out similar behavior leveled against POCs, a.k.a. minorities.

Because they allow visible public harassment to continue without comment.

How many female ENWorlders who have participated in this thread have claimed they have NOT had similar experiences? I'm thinking the number is between 0 and 1.

Again, it may be exaggeration, but seemingly...unfortunately...not by much.

I have to ask: Looking at the base demographic, young adult males, how does the gaming experience compare with the experience in schools. That is, junior and senior high school and undergraduate college? I'm not asking to say the experience isn't bad in either case. I'm wondering if the gaming experience is worse than the school experience -- for the same demographic.

Thx!
TomB

 

[Umbran]

It just seems to me that most people, particularly gamers who often have a history of being picked on, have much more of a "keep your head down," "don't make waves," "don't get involved" type of mentality than they do a "hey, that's not right, I have to do/say something" mentality.

And, to be honest, they may have witnessed it, and not really understood what they were looking at. See my note about a women getting groped non-consensually, *in the middle of a crowd*, without anyone realizing it wasn't consensual, if they even actually saw it. See the notes of women who have said they don't speak up about how they felt at the time of the event, and how men, who are not in the same position as the victim, may not realize what a comment means to the victim.

Standing up may require keeping a sort of alertness to things we are not used to keeping.

 

[MechaPilot]

I have to ask: Looking at the base demographic, young adult males, how does the gaming experience compare with the experience in schools. That is, junior and senior high school and undergraduate college? I'm not asking to say the experience isn't bad in either case. I'm wondering if the gaming experience is worse than the school experience -- for the same demographic.

Thx!
TomB

I can't speak to the experiences of other women/girls in schools, but here are mine:

I have not been harassed, sexually or otherwise, at either the graduate or undergrad college level.

I was substantially harassed in a non-sexual manner from the late end of grade school through high school (grades 6-12). Most of this harassment was about my weight, and about the fact that I was one of the poorer students at school. The latter also created other harassment in the form of being ridiculed or looked down upon for not having designer clothes, and for being on the free school lunch program at one point.

There was also some harassment of a sexual nature. At one point in middle school, after I had to start taking showers at school because of a mandatory swimming class (we all had to shower together, with separate showers and locker rooms for boys and girls, before changing back out of our swimsuits and into our school clothes), I was harassed for not developing as much as others my age. Additionally, because I was shy (with all the harassment, I wonder how/why that happened) and didn't get asked out or otherwise go on any dates, there were periodic rumors about my sexuality; with people alternately claiming that I was either homosexual or frigid.

Edit: It's not school related, but I did get irritated with a coworker who runs a register and can't do basic math (and who is always asking me to do it for her). I wasn't yelling at her, but I was very irritated at her, noticeably so. After noticing my irritation, my manager told me, "calm your t***." He and I often joke with each other, even telling jokes of an adult nature, but I have to admit I felt a little uncomfortable.