Have You Used The X Card Or Seen It Used In Person?

[Jfdlsjfd]

And perhaps this is where my disconnect with the X Card lies. I don't find role playing to be a particularly intimate activity. At least not intimate in the form of being private or personal. Running a scenario I made up for a game of D&D isn't any more intimate to me than talking about my favorite Star Wars movie, how to make sure your company is in compliance with all I-9 requirements, or the superiority of sharp cheddar compared to mild or medium cheddar. If I don't need an X Card for most social activities, why would I need one for an RPG? The only activities I need safety tools for are those that are inherently dangerous and RPGS are not dangerous. If they are dangerous then I owe Pat Pulling an apology.

If what we're discussing here is helping avoiding topics that can push personal, and sometime intimate buttons you might not have guessed, the "button-pushing" can also happen when you go together to see a play or a movie.

 

[Reynard]

I like this post for explaining the motivations, and I generally agree. I've said before, playing RPGs is a great way to get to know someone because you will learn a lot about their desires.

At the same time, I think it is reasonable for folks to question if it is worth it at their tables because this level of intimacy doesn't mean the card will be useful. As I said, the AL group I was in that implemented it saw it used extremely rarely. At a certain point, is printing the cards, distributing the cards, describing the cards each session, adding how the cards work to the code of conduct, and so on worth the overhead, when many issues can be handled without the card? What incidence rate tips you over into useful territory?

It's like that episode of Fresh Prince where Will spends all the effort writing test answers on his shoes and ends up not needing to cheat because that was effectively studying for him.

That is to say: the process of presenting and explaining the X-card may mean you never need to use it -- but you might have needed it if you did not present it.

 

[zakael19]

As I said, the AL group I was in that implemented it saw it used extremely rarely. At a certain point, is printing the cards, distributing the cards, describing the cards each session, adding how the cards work to the code of conduct, and so on worth the overhead, when many issues can be handled without the card? What incidence rate tips you over into useful territory?

Here’s what I’d toss out there: in a high-turnover, public setting with a good likelihood of strangers, being open with tables and creating an atmosphere/expectation up front that people are encouraged to communicate when something unexpected is making them feel uncomfortable probably shapes the table culture to start with. Doing it in a way that’s non-argumentative the entire table has to assent to before play kicks, with a minute or less discussion, makes it more likely people will speak up / take action if something hits them wrong.

Like for my campaign length play here’s a non-exhaustive list of stuff people have asked to be lined or veiled that’s not uncommon to come up in descriptive conversation (this is additional to my baseline Lines of sexual violence / homophobia ):

• any damage to eyes
• any detailed descriptions of people burning / on fire
• descriptive violence to domestic animals
• being out on deep water
• violence/danger to children
• descriptions of stomach trouble / pains

 

[zakael19]

It's like that episode of Fresh Prince where Will spends all the effort writing test answers on his shoes and ends up not needing to cheat because that was effectively studying for him.

That is to say: the process of presenting and explaining the X-card may mean you never need to use it -- but you might have needed it if you did not present it.

Ok sure just show up and succinctly make my point why don’t you

 

[Reynard]

It occurs to me that while I understand what "Lines and Veils" is from context, I don't actually know where the specific implementation originated from. Does anyone know when the concept came to be used, and who is credited with presenting it originally?

 

[zakael19]

It occurs to me that while I understand what "Lines and Veils" is from context, I don't actually know where the specific implementation originated from. Does anyone know when the concept came to be used, and who is credited with presenting it originally?

As noted by @Old Fezziwig two pages ago, Ron Edwards for Sorcerer.

 

[Bae'zel]

In retrospect, tools like the X Card would have been helpful.

- the time a player had a really rough day at work (and had an argument with his girlfriend), still insisted on playing in our grim dark 40K campaign, hadn't been updating their character's XP advances so their PC was underpowered, and thus, bad stuff happened to them due to a psychic backlash from bad luck at dice rolling on my part. He went into extreme detail how he assaulted and slowly murdered my female PC. It was awkward, embarassing and kind of upsetting. I never played female characters in RPGs after that. We made peace a few days later, but we never played that game again together.

- the time a player was going through a messy divorce, but insisted on playing anyway in our light-hearted fantasy campaign. His character randomly assaulted and murdered NPCs and animals, and tried to rape a NPC mermaid. We ah... put the game on pause and never invited him back.

- the time a guy player, out of game, had been turned down by one of the others (a girl) and took out his frustrations in-game towards her PC and the rest of the party, passive aggressively causing trouble for the party and having his PC get horribly drunk and verbally abusive at the inn.

There's a bit of a trend here in my RPG horror stories, but the main point is that a tool like the X Card could have slightly shifted the issue from the PERSON to the ACT, theoretically smoothing things out a bit. However, none of those three guys should have been playing at all, I guess.

 

[TiQuinn]

In retrospect, tools like the X Card would have been helpful.

- the time a player had a really rough day at work (and had an argument with his girlfriend), still insisted on playing in our grim dark 40K campaign, hadn't been updating their character's XP advances so their PC was underpowered, and thus, bad stuff happened to them due to a psychic backlash from bad luck at dice rolling on my part. He went into extreme detail how he assaulted and slowly murdered my female PC. It was awkward, embarassing and kind of upsetting. I never played female characters in RPGs after that. We made peace a few days later, but we never played that game again together.

- the time a player was going through a messy divorce, but insisted on playing anyway in our light-hearted fantasy campaign. His character randomly assaulted and murdered NPCs and animals, and tried to rape a NPC mermaid. We ah... put the game on pause and never invited him back.

- the time a guy player, out of game, had been turned down by one of the others (a girl) and took out his frustrations in-game towards her PC and the rest of the party, passive aggressively causing trouble for the party and having his PC get horribly drunk and verbally abusive at the inn.

There's a bit of a trend here in my RPG horror stories, but the main point is that a tool like the X Card could have slightly shifted the issue from the PERSON to the ACT, theoretically smoothing things out a bit. However, none of those three guys should have been playing at all, I guess.

Oof.

Yeah, I think the X card is useful but these are the kind of nightmare circumstances where safety tool or not, I’d be saying “oh hell no. Stop the game.” There have been times where people are not in the right mood to play a game, and it’s best to just not play at all. Acting out like this though - these are RPG horror story worthy.

 

[The Firebird]

It's like that episode of Fresh Prince where Will spends all the effort writing test answers on his shoes and ends up not needing to cheat because that was effectively studying for him.

That is to say: the process of presenting and explaining the X-card may mean you never need to use it -- but you might have needed it if you did not present it.

Here’s what I’d toss out there: in a high-turnover, public setting with a good likelihood of strangers, being open with tables and creating an atmosphere/expectation up front that people are encouraged to communicate when something unexpected is making them feel uncomfortable probably shapes the table culture to start with. Doing it in a way that’s non-argumentative the entire table has to assent to before play kicks, with a minute or less discussion, makes it more likely people will speak up / take action if something hits them wrong.

That's a hypothesis. It hasn't been borne out, ime. I've run AL games with X cards and without X cards and I haven't seen differences in the outcomes. Now sure, I go over table expectations up front...but I don't find the X card worth the additional investment.

 

[TiQuinn]

That's a hypothesis. It hasn't been borne out, ime. I've run AL games with X cards and without X cards and I haven't seen differences in the outcomes. Now sure, I go over table expectations up front...but I don't find the X card worth the additional investment.

Is there really an investment in using the X card? It’s simply a tool and really, to my mind, a symbol to say it’s okay to say something is making you uncomfortable. What investment is there?