Help me introduce the game to my wife

[MavrickWeirdo]

Familiars, Animal Companions, Paladin's Mount, ect. are a great way to include a "helpful" NPC who doesn't steal the show.

 

[Saeviomagy]

Character creation is all about
1. DESCRIBING the character you want
2. BUILDING the character you DESCRIBED


Most newbies will do pretty well at number 1. Most will not do well at number 2.

So - get her to describe her character. She knows the genre, so she can probably get a good bead on what she wants to be and do.

Then go and build it. Ask her questions in plain english when you need to. For instance "is there any particular creature that you want to be good at fighting" for a ranger, rather than "what creature type do you want as your favoured enemy".

Then - make up the sheet.

THEN make up a second sheet that has all the things that she does well.

Put two weapons on it - ranged and close.

For instance - the average sheet has a skill list that includes every skill. That's far too much for a starting character to assimilate, so only put the skills that she has ranks in, and other skills that you use all the time (spot, listen).

If she wants to be a spellcaster, make it a sorceror or a class with a very limited spell list.

Oh, and perhaps most importantly of all - start at 1st level. D&D is ALMOST written to introduce new players a fraction at a time. This only works, however, if you start at first and build up.

 

[SpiralBound]

I agree with the poster who said to create her character for her using her input. Then let her play the character for a few sessions to see how her choices and your interpretations of them play out in the game. Next character, let her do the creation. Also, draw up two helpful NPC's to accompany her, just be careful not to let them overshadow her PC. Just allow them to complement her abilities some.

After you have tried this for a month or so (4-6 sessions), it will probably (hopefully) be time to find some other players or join another game somewhere near you. Be careful about the players you recruit or join, because they will definitely have an impact on yours and your wife's enjoyment and opinion of the game.

I have successfully introduced several people to roleplaying, (three of them women, one of them my wife), I agree with much of what Wolf70 says here. Use a simple short adventure. Meke the villian be an ordinary thug/group of "bad guys" humanoids, or alternatly make them a band of goblinoids. You don't need the uber-powerful, half-demonic, cult-leading necromancer manipulating events from the shadows for an introduction game. Furthermore, I recommend a straightforward plotline that that is similar to your typical movie plot. A person needs to be rescued, a treasure needs to be found, a group of bad guys needs to be eliminated, etc... I would also recommend that you discuss with her what kind of character she's interested in and then make it for her. I suggest a basic fighter or rogue, or maybe a ranger. Stay away from magic-users and multiclass characters for her first one - there's no need to make it more complicated at first than necessary. Keep the learning curve as smooth and as close to invisible as possible and she'll be much less likely to become frustrated with the number-crunching involved with roleplay. Also feel out which she's more likely to enjoy, character-based interaction with npcs and your world, or combat - and then give her a 60-40 or 75-25 mix in favour of her preference.

Lastly, while I've run many enjoyable campaigns with one or two players, eventually you're going to want to grow a gaming group for you and her. If for no other reason than to give her the experience of playing with more than just yours and her imaginations involved! However, take this slowly, maintaining a pace that is in keeping with her growth in knowledge and her comfort level with tabletop roleplaying itself - there's no advantage to rushing this. I would slightly modify Wolf70's suggestion regarding adding a gaming group to suggesting that once your wife is comfortable with the game, bring in another single player, either a sensible and experienced player, or another beginner for her to help introduce to the game. Again, as with your wife, take things slowly and you should be fine.

I must say that you are a lucky, lucky man. My wife went with me to see Fellowship of the Ring and thought it was the most pointless thing she has ever sat through. She was happy I went to see Two Towers with our nieces and nephews so that she could stay home. She begged me to find other friends to see Return of the King with, but went along in the end and laughed out loud at several scenes (for example, she thought Shelob was hilarious, I mean a spider that big? Yeah, right). She has never understood the appeal of fantasy or science fiction. Her opinion is, if it is not possible or realistic, then why think about it? She thinks my gaming friends are just strange and that it is a bizarre male-bonding ritual of some sort (in her defense, some in my group ARE strange and it CAN be a male-bonding, I guess). I have given up hope of ever getting her to try it. Good luck in your return to gaming. May it bring you and your wife many happy hours!

DM

Owch! I feel your pain, Wolf70!! That's gotta suck. Not *just* that she doesn't game with you, but that she simply isn't capable of sharing your love of fantasy with you... The only thing I can think of that would make that worse would be if she decided that it was "time you gave up this foolishness" and then waged a campaign of dominance-games in an attempt to cajol/force you to give up gaming... I hope that this never happens to you.

 

[francisca]

I think you might want to find some other unexperienced D&D players. Last year I got my wife started in D&D with the 81 basic set, along with 2 others in the group (of 5) who were new to the game. It ceratinly made her feel more comfortable.

Edit: It helped the other players too. Being my wife was immaterial.

 

[kenobi65]

I've been told that the images on my website can really help a new player get into the idea of a character. It helps that there are several female illustrations.

...and, that they're *hot*.

 

[der_kluge]

Don't limit yourself to D&D.

Get HARP. It's simpler, and it's free. You can download HARP Lite from the HARP website - here:
http://www.harphq.com (Scroll down until you see the HARP Lite link).

It's a lot like D&D, so it has all the same concepts she's familiar with. It requires fewer dice, and in the files section, has an Excel spreadsheet to ease with character creation.

 

[D-rock]

She's the one who wanted to play! Your a lucky man. Besides what others have posted you could try D&D for Dummies, although I haven't read a single word of it.

Also, make it clear that she dosn't have to get "everything right" the first time she plays.

 

[Oryan77]

First, get some wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Fill up 2 glasses to the rim and give her one.

Hand her a scrap piece of paper and ONLY the Player's Handbook.

Sit her down at the dinner table and tell her you are going to fix her dinner (or tell her you're going to prepare a plate for her of the fast food you just brought home)

Point out the pages in the book with the pretty pictures of different races and different classes. Tell her she doesn't have to read them, but to pick her favorite picture and tell you what she liked.

As you're fixing food, tell her briefly about her choices and what they actually are. While you're at it, tell her about the other races/classes in case one interests her and she'd like to look at the pictures again of those versions.

Your main goal is to get her tippsy off of the wine. That way she'll be relaxed and won't take all of this info too seriously. Begin slowly making her a character. The farther you get in character creation, the more technical it is. But the more technical it gets, the more she should have drank...so she won't mind!

Ya know, basically treat the situation like she would when she wants you to buy her something from a catalogue.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I'd say this applies to anyone that is being introduced to the game, male or female...

Start slow. First characters should be first level.

Progress slow. Don't get all crazy with the rules/multiclassing right away.

Have fun. Just enjoy the game and, if she doesn't like it, no big deal... if she does, that's awesome.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

"Hello, honey?"

"I have a confession to make."

"I've been cheating on you, almost every week."

"Actually, I've been seeing this other woman since before we met. I fell in love in high school, really. She taught me a LOT about fantasy in my formative years."

"Most of my friends are seeing her too, usually we all see her at the same time, it brings us closer together."

"I've even started to see here on-line. Technology has progressed so far its almost like she's there for real"

"And ever since she went open to where anyone can use her, I've found all those new ideas she has more exciting than ever!"

"I've spent thousands and thousands of dollars on her, she's one of my biggest expenses."

"Now, I want to share her with you as well, just the three of us to begin with."

"Later, we can add Rob, Bill, and Tim. Tim's usually the one telling us what to do with her anyways."

"Well, Here she is; My 3.5 Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook."

Try that

(If you ACTUALLY do try this, don't try and get me to testify at the divorce hearing).