Imhotepthewise
Explorer
let's ditch ol' Im in the woods!
*bump*
*bump*
Holiday Home Game of IRON DM
- Thread starter seasong
- Start date
What the heck
I did one of these for the heck of it, using one of the ingredient sets from one of the quarterfinals on the other thread. It's not very fleshed out in places to keep the word count down. I'd love a critique or even a competitor....
Ingredients
Secret Journey
Message in a Bottle
Ghost
Female Halfing Wizard
Doubtful Vampire
One Night Show
FINAL ACT
This adventure assumes the party has developed at least bit of a reputation but isn't so famous that their faces are known in every town; between 4th and 6th levels would work well. A party interested in role playing, investigation and subtlety should enjoy it more than a kick-down-the-door group. Since the enemies in this adventure are NPCs the GM can easily adjust the challenge by adjusting their levels.
About a century ago the theater in a nearby town was run by a man named Ockler. He was moderately insane, obsessed with theater and believed nobody could do it right but him. As he grew older he became more and more worried about the terrible state he was convinced the theater would fall into without his "genius" so he took what seemed to him to be a logical step: he arranged to become a vampire. He carefully hid his casket in a secret area in the theater basement and used his domination powers to make sure the theater continued to run the way he wished. The theater developed a reputation for being haunted but otherwise prospered.
Over time the pressures of being undead have eaten away further at Ockler's sanity. In the latest play a new actress, Sarchi was given the lead role - her first big part. A bundle of nerves, she simply fell apart during the final rehearsal. Ockler, unable to control his rage, strangled her to death in her dressing room afterwards.
The part is now being played by Dorina, who might do a passable job - if she had had more rehearsal and wasn't spooked by the haunting. Yes, Sarchi has risen as a ghost and is causing a variety of backstage "accidents," mostly directed at her understudy. The entire theater is terrified but the current director, Lethia (who is secretly dominated by Ockler), insists that nothing is happening and everybody behave as normal. Lethia is a female halfling specializing in illusions and, in addition to running the theater, provides special effects. The resulting performances are very poor and Ockler is going out of his mind. He's wondering why he was so driven to kill Sarchi and suspects (correctly) that he is slipping further into madness and evil.
At this point another actress, Althea, can't take it any more. She's utterly terrified of Lethia but still, having heard of the party's reputation, has secretly traveled to find them and will do what she must to convince them to end the hauntings. She's so afraid of Lethia that she keeps herself fully cloaked and covered at all times and won't speak to the party in a public place.
This is where the adventure starts for the party and the GM must find an appropriate hook for his group. A bard PC may very well have ties to that theater and even have performed in it. Sarchi's family is moderately important and may have posted a reward for their daughter's murder. Althea can tell the PCs tales of how the theater ghost has been stealing for decades; certainly no matter how many tickets they sell the theater never seems to have any money. And finally Althea is a very pretty young lady with considerable charm who may be able to convince the party to help her out of the goodness of their <ahem> hearts.
Assuming Althea persuades them to help she won't even travel back with PCs. If the party wants to communicate with her they'll have to go to the tavern where she works (her "day job"). When she sees them she'll bring an extra wine bottle with their order. They can exchange messages using the empty bottle. If the PCs find this overly romantic and melodramatic, well, that's Althea for you.
From here the GM must play things by ear. Presumably the PCs try to investigate, either by walking in openly or by getting jobs at the theater. While they try to figure out who committed the murder Lethia and Ockler will try to drive them off with "accidents," ghost is continues to haunt, and most of the cast is terrified out of their minds. For extra confusion the GM could add some cast members who have a motive either for the murder or to fake the hauntings.
Since hacking apart a ghost simply means it reforms in a few days the PCs are going to have to do something clever to lay Sarchi to rest. If they can get her to manifest and communicate peacefully they'll learn she wants to perform her role in the play - which should make for a very special one night show. If the GM is feeling mean it has to be in front of a full house. As you might expect, the rest of the cast will need some persuading to go along with this and getting customers to sit all the way through may take some creativity. Lethia and Ockler will be dead set against anything the PCs want to do and are likely to end up attacking them outright. However, it isn't impossible that both could be settled by roleplaying; Lethia by breaking Ockler's domination and (less likely) Ockler by convincing him he's now hurting the theater. Of course your PCs may not want to let a vampire go. Then you can have a big show down as Ockler and Lethia try to wreak the set or kill cast members minutes before the curtain goes up on the special performance to lay the ghost to rest.
The GM can plausibly give Ockler had a treasure hoard (he believed any money the theater made was due to him) or was penniless (he had no real use for money). PCs should be given XPs for non-violent solutions for Sarchi, Lethia and Ockler. Possible further adventures could involve romance with Althea or hunting down Ockler if he escapes.
I did one of these for the heck of it, using one of the ingredient sets from one of the quarterfinals on the other thread. It's not very fleshed out in places to keep the word count down. I'd love a critique or even a competitor....
Ingredients
Secret Journey
Message in a Bottle
Ghost
Female Halfing Wizard
Doubtful Vampire
One Night Show
FINAL ACT
This adventure assumes the party has developed at least bit of a reputation but isn't so famous that their faces are known in every town; between 4th and 6th levels would work well. A party interested in role playing, investigation and subtlety should enjoy it more than a kick-down-the-door group. Since the enemies in this adventure are NPCs the GM can easily adjust the challenge by adjusting their levels.
About a century ago the theater in a nearby town was run by a man named Ockler. He was moderately insane, obsessed with theater and believed nobody could do it right but him. As he grew older he became more and more worried about the terrible state he was convinced the theater would fall into without his "genius" so he took what seemed to him to be a logical step: he arranged to become a vampire. He carefully hid his casket in a secret area in the theater basement and used his domination powers to make sure the theater continued to run the way he wished. The theater developed a reputation for being haunted but otherwise prospered.
Over time the pressures of being undead have eaten away further at Ockler's sanity. In the latest play a new actress, Sarchi was given the lead role - her first big part. A bundle of nerves, she simply fell apart during the final rehearsal. Ockler, unable to control his rage, strangled her to death in her dressing room afterwards.
The part is now being played by Dorina, who might do a passable job - if she had had more rehearsal and wasn't spooked by the haunting. Yes, Sarchi has risen as a ghost and is causing a variety of backstage "accidents," mostly directed at her understudy. The entire theater is terrified but the current director, Lethia (who is secretly dominated by Ockler), insists that nothing is happening and everybody behave as normal. Lethia is a female halfling specializing in illusions and, in addition to running the theater, provides special effects. The resulting performances are very poor and Ockler is going out of his mind. He's wondering why he was so driven to kill Sarchi and suspects (correctly) that he is slipping further into madness and evil.
At this point another actress, Althea, can't take it any more. She's utterly terrified of Lethia but still, having heard of the party's reputation, has secretly traveled to find them and will do what she must to convince them to end the hauntings. She's so afraid of Lethia that she keeps herself fully cloaked and covered at all times and won't speak to the party in a public place.
This is where the adventure starts for the party and the GM must find an appropriate hook for his group. A bard PC may very well have ties to that theater and even have performed in it. Sarchi's family is moderately important and may have posted a reward for their daughter's murder. Althea can tell the PCs tales of how the theater ghost has been stealing for decades; certainly no matter how many tickets they sell the theater never seems to have any money. And finally Althea is a very pretty young lady with considerable charm who may be able to convince the party to help her out of the goodness of their <ahem> hearts.
Assuming Althea persuades them to help she won't even travel back with PCs. If the party wants to communicate with her they'll have to go to the tavern where she works (her "day job"). When she sees them she'll bring an extra wine bottle with their order. They can exchange messages using the empty bottle. If the PCs find this overly romantic and melodramatic, well, that's Althea for you.
From here the GM must play things by ear. Presumably the PCs try to investigate, either by walking in openly or by getting jobs at the theater. While they try to figure out who committed the murder Lethia and Ockler will try to drive them off with "accidents," ghost is continues to haunt, and most of the cast is terrified out of their minds. For extra confusion the GM could add some cast members who have a motive either for the murder or to fake the hauntings.
Since hacking apart a ghost simply means it reforms in a few days the PCs are going to have to do something clever to lay Sarchi to rest. If they can get her to manifest and communicate peacefully they'll learn she wants to perform her role in the play - which should make for a very special one night show. If the GM is feeling mean it has to be in front of a full house. As you might expect, the rest of the cast will need some persuading to go along with this and getting customers to sit all the way through may take some creativity. Lethia and Ockler will be dead set against anything the PCs want to do and are likely to end up attacking them outright. However, it isn't impossible that both could be settled by roleplaying; Lethia by breaking Ockler's domination and (less likely) Ockler by convincing him he's now hurting the theater. Of course your PCs may not want to let a vampire go. Then you can have a big show down as Ockler and Lethia try to wreak the set or kill cast members minutes before the curtain goes up on the special performance to lay the ghost to rest.
The GM can plausibly give Ockler had a treasure hoard (he believed any money the theater made was due to him) or was penniless (he had no real use for money). PCs should be given XPs for non-violent solutions for Sarchi, Lethia and Ockler. Possible further adventures could involve romance with Althea or hunting down Ockler if he escapes.
Imhotepthewise
Explorer
good for you! I will read it in depth later, since I'm off to Chrismas Eve events. I hope seasong and incognito make it back to comment. The Main Event has been pretty exciting. Maybe we can hone our skills enough here to join in with the Big Boys! Merry Christmas! And bless us all, ev'ry one! "Tiny" Tim.
seasong
First Post
Back from the Holidays! Woo hoo!
I see incognito is still late
.
I shall begin reading stuff tomorrow morning. And incognito or not, I shall post my review of Imhotepthewise, who has more than earned it with his patience.
I think I saw another entry in there to critique as well, and I'll see if I can't get that out.
And, of course, I will begin posting more entries in order of ingredients. I feel refreshed and fulfilled after this Hallmark Holiday, and none shall stay my hand!
I see incognito is still late
.I shall begin reading stuff tomorrow morning. And incognito or not, I shall post my review of Imhotepthewise, who has more than earned it with his patience.
I think I saw another entry in there to critique as well, and I'll see if I can't get that out.
And, of course, I will begin posting more entries in order of ingredients. I feel refreshed and fulfilled after this Hallmark Holiday, and none shall stay my hand!
seasong
First Post
Note 1: Okay, I lied. Can't sleep. So I'll critique tonight.
Note 2: As always, I'm not pulling punches. I would like to see another rewrite of this scenario, also
.
I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
by Imhotepthewise
Ingredients
Paladin's holy mount
Gargantuan fire beetle
Crippled rogue
Flooded mine
Diary
Intelligent Greatsword
The gargantuan fire beetle as a mobile light source that will become docile and loyal to someone who feeds it was fantastic, and does a good job of explaining its presence. These are obviously dwarven mines, of course, as a gargantuan beetle is, well gargantuan and would fit in only the largest of spaces. Still, this was definitely a strong use of the element, and gives the scenario a very interesting encounter besides!
With that said, however, the beetle was the strongest element in this scenario, and everything else fails to meet the same kind of originality and interest. While individual elements are well blended (each piece definitely belongs, something most Iron DMs seem to have trouble managing), the scenario as a whole feels disjointed. There are plenty of things to do (labelled hooks in the scenario), but no central theme - this is more of a party mix of things the players might want to do in some abandoned mines.
Unfortunately, this weakens the ingredients somewhat. The diary is interesting, but there is no need for the PCs to read it, use it or even notice it. The rogue and horse might have made the central theme, but this isn't really touched on in the text... if I were to use this, I would probably make getting them out of the caves the whole point of the scenario, and if the rogue were a sympathetic character, getting him & paladin's stuff to the the kindly grandmother would have been a major plot point.
Note that some of these things apply to my own scenario with the same ingredients, so I may be calling the kettle black.
In all, I think this scenario would have benefitted greatly from some tying together and smoothing out. The core ideas are good, but execution suffered somewhat for want of polish and a central 'oomph'.
Note 2: As always, I'm not pulling punches. I would like to see another rewrite of this scenario, also
.I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
by Imhotepthewise
Ingredients
Paladin's holy mount
Gargantuan fire beetle
Crippled rogue
Flooded mine
Diary
Intelligent Greatsword
The gargantuan fire beetle as a mobile light source that will become docile and loyal to someone who feeds it was fantastic, and does a good job of explaining its presence. These are obviously dwarven mines, of course, as a gargantuan beetle is, well gargantuan and would fit in only the largest of spaces. Still, this was definitely a strong use of the element, and gives the scenario a very interesting encounter besides!
With that said, however, the beetle was the strongest element in this scenario, and everything else fails to meet the same kind of originality and interest. While individual elements are well blended (each piece definitely belongs, something most Iron DMs seem to have trouble managing), the scenario as a whole feels disjointed. There are plenty of things to do (labelled hooks in the scenario), but no central theme - this is more of a party mix of things the players might want to do in some abandoned mines.
Unfortunately, this weakens the ingredients somewhat. The diary is interesting, but there is no need for the PCs to read it, use it or even notice it. The rogue and horse might have made the central theme, but this isn't really touched on in the text... if I were to use this, I would probably make getting them out of the caves the whole point of the scenario, and if the rogue were a sympathetic character, getting him & paladin's stuff to the the kindly grandmother would have been a major plot point.
Note that some of these things apply to my own scenario with the same ingredients, so I may be calling the kettle black
.In all, I think this scenario would have benefitted greatly from some tying together and smoothing out. The core ideas are good, but execution suffered somewhat for want of polish and a central 'oomph'.
seasong
First Post
Final Act
by MTR
Ingredients
Secret Journey
Message in a Bottle
Ghost
Female Halfing Wizard
Doubtful Vampire
One Night Show
The use of ingredients was reasonably well done, about three good ones, but... damn. This is a fine piece of work. There are a few things I would like to have had fleshed out, as they will be a lot of work for a DM to do themselves (such as the alternate NPC murder motives), but MTR chose to stick to outline form rather than a detailed article.
To look at the ingredients more specifically:
The female halfling wizard is there, but there is nothing particularly important about her femaleness, halflingness, or wizardness - she could have been the male half-orc bard in charge, and it would have suited the story precisely as well.
The message in a bottle was tacked on. It had some style, but really didn't feel like it fit. Perhaps if she only communicated through the bottles, leaving them where the PCs would find them, it could have made for a nice flavor hook... but as it is, it's weak.
The secret journey, like the message in a bottle, felt tacked on. And, in fact, was part of the same NPC's role - Althea definitely could have been integrated better, and with her, these two ingredients.
The ghost and one night show, on the other hand, dovetail into the climax in properly dramatic fashion, and help give this eerie tale a touch of creepy fantasy... something I'm a real sucker for.
And the doubtful vampire, while perhaps not entirely doubtful, is still a very strong showing of the ingredient. The idea that he might willingly allow himself to be put to rest "so the show can go on" is particularly delightful to me. Between this and the ghost who just wants to play her role... I've known these people, both director and actor.
Some other notes:
1) As MTR notes, this is not a good adventure for the kick-in-the-door crowd. The right prayers, a couple of fights, and this elegant scenario would be reduced to rubble along with the DM's desire to run it. That's not really a weakness, in my opinion, but it does bear mentioning.
2) MTR says that "the GM must find an appropriate hook for his group" and then promptly lays out several excellent hooks for our palates. The comment on further adventures was also appreciated, if a bit skimpier than the hooks.
3) MTR needs to participate in the next Iron DM. Against most entries (which also tend to manage 3 ingredients), he would win on scenario craft and interest. However, he will need to integrate the other ingredients better to win - the final rounds usually see good use of all ingredients, and Wicht (who will assuredly be there) is known for dominating in that arena.
by MTR
Ingredients
Secret Journey
Message in a Bottle
Ghost
Female Halfing Wizard
Doubtful Vampire
One Night Show
The use of ingredients was reasonably well done, about three good ones, but... damn. This is a fine piece of work. There are a few things I would like to have had fleshed out, as they will be a lot of work for a DM to do themselves (such as the alternate NPC murder motives), but MTR chose to stick to outline form rather than a detailed article.
To look at the ingredients more specifically:
The female halfling wizard is there, but there is nothing particularly important about her femaleness, halflingness, or wizardness - she could have been the male half-orc bard in charge, and it would have suited the story precisely as well.
The message in a bottle was tacked on. It had some style, but really didn't feel like it fit. Perhaps if she only communicated through the bottles, leaving them where the PCs would find them, it could have made for a nice flavor hook... but as it is, it's weak.
The secret journey, like the message in a bottle, felt tacked on. And, in fact, was part of the same NPC's role - Althea definitely could have been integrated better, and with her, these two ingredients.
The ghost and one night show, on the other hand, dovetail into the climax in properly dramatic fashion, and help give this eerie tale a touch of creepy fantasy... something I'm a real sucker for.
And the doubtful vampire, while perhaps not entirely doubtful, is still a very strong showing of the ingredient. The idea that he might willingly allow himself to be put to rest "so the show can go on" is particularly delightful to me. Between this and the ghost who just wants to play her role... I've known these people, both director and actor.
Some other notes:
1) As MTR notes, this is not a good adventure for the kick-in-the-door crowd. The right prayers, a couple of fights, and this elegant scenario would be reduced to rubble along with the DM's desire to run it. That's not really a weakness, in my opinion, but it does bear mentioning.
2) MTR says that "the GM must find an appropriate hook for his group" and then promptly lays out several excellent hooks for our palates. The comment on further adventures was also appreciated, if a bit skimpier than the hooks.
3) MTR needs to participate in the next Iron DM. Against most entries (which also tend to manage 3 ingredients), he would win on scenario craft and interest. However, he will need to integrate the other ingredients better to win - the final rounds usually see good use of all ingredients, and Wicht (who will assuredly be there) is known for dominating in that arena.
seasong
First Post
Note: I got 5 out of 6 ingredients very nicely, in my opinion. I tried and tried and tried on the last ingredient, but ultimately just tacked it on. See if you can guess which one .
Ingredients
Amnesia
Island Fortress
Evil Monks
Eggs
Hangman Tree
Cursed Spear, Back-biter
Eggs of Doom
Summary: The PCs stumble across a Fabergé-like egg that intends to destroy them all. Unfortunately, it's practically indestructible, so they have to bring it to the site of its creation, where the means to break its vicious cycle lay. It's nastier than it sounds.
Foul Enchantments
Once upon a time, there lived a foul and wicked enchanter. He was a bitter man whose once good intentions had always gone astray, and instead of blaming himself, he blamed all else - gods, men, the cast of the sun, anything but himself. Eventually, consumed by his own desire for vengeance against all of his own failures, he crafted a plan to punish as many as he could feasibly arrange, long after his own inescapable death.
Although his name is long since lost, his final revenge lives on. Twelve finely crafted eggs of gold, silver, platinum and numerous jewels, given as gifts to various leaders of religious and secular bent both, are scattered about the world. Each has a particular power, and a malevolent intelligence guiding it. The less subtle ones have long since been destroyed, but there still exist an egg of charming, an egg of forgetfulness, and an egg of betrayal, all subtle enough to survive and continue their creators will.
All of the eggs are essentially indestructible - those that have been destroyed in the past, were destroyed at the enchanter's original tower, which is now guarded by one of the eggs to prevent the same happening in the future.
Egg of Charming
This golden egg, studded with rubies and an engraved mural of a festive party, was given to the head of a monastic order, and has remained with them since, slowly shaping the monks into a bastion of order and discipline.. one that dominates the surrounding lands by the iron fist of fear. The egg of charming can utilize a wide variety of charms such as charm person and dominate, but it prefers careful use of suggestion and controlling key people to influence others.
Under the influence of the egg, the monastery has relocated to the enchanters original home, a small tower fortress on a small island at the center of a modestly sized lake. Here, the egg (by way of the monks) guards the vault that the enchanter crafted to control the eggs... or destroy them if they turned on him.
The rubies gleam a little too brightly when it is using its powers.
Egg of Forgetfulness
This silver and brass egg is a marvel of clockwork which perpetually cycles inside the framework shell. It has wandered from hand to hand as it tires of (or destroys) its present owner. Not quite as subtle as its two remaining brothers, it has still managed to conceal its curse well enough.
The egg has three essential powers:
1) Attraction: Target must be within 5 feet. Target must make a Will save; on failure, target attempts to touch the egg. Once you touch the egg, it can affect you with its other powers. On success, nothing happens... and the target is unaware that anything almost happened. However, a success also means that the egg can not attempt it again for 24 hours.
2) Total Amnesia: Contact required, the subject puts the egg somewhere safe, or gives it away to a stranger, and completely forgets the egg's existence. The egg usually waits for its subject to be alone before attempting this.
3) Spells, as a 10th level sorcerer (including spells per day, with CHR 14): Daze (0), Sleep (1), Erase (1), Obscure Object (2), Detect Thoughts (2), Misdirection (2), Undetectable Alignment (2), Nondetection (3), Secret Page (3), Confusion (3), Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer (4), Feeblemind (4), Modify Memory (4), Mind Fog (5). All of these spells have a range of touch and area of one subject instead of their usual stats. The egg usually uses Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer to persuade its owner that it is beneficial to the owner's memory.
Essentially, the egg uses all of these spells to conceal its true nature, cause its owner to forget things at inappropriate times, rewrite the owner's calendar book (reverting to normal later), and so on... turning even the most devoutly disciplined of owners into a flaky wreck. It prefers owners with a lot to lose, naturally.
Egg of Betrayal
This platinum egg is constructed of a clever series of sharp-edged rings with bits of emerald between them. The wave-shaped edges and faint green reflections from the emeralds makes it look sea-like. Small cuts, similar to that received from crisp paper, are common among its owners. This is its natural appearance, but not the only one it might have...
The egg is somewhat animate in its own right, and can shapeshift into useful items. In most such situations, it can be treated as a +3 item or weapon, and that's exactly how it behaves, until it finds a good point at which it can betray its owner. At that point the item will fail the owner, usually catastrophically, before shapeshifting into a good form to escape in. Divination magics will also reveal it simply as a useful magic item. However, once it betrays someone, it must flee and hide, as it will shift back to its natural state a few rounds later, and can not shift again for an hour.
It is currently in the form of a spear.
Hangman Tree
This is the monk's symbol: it is tacked on to their crest.
The fortress also has one in the central garden, where it may inconvenience the adventurers.
Hook and Sinker
Hooks
Monte Maul: Both the egg of betrayal and the egg of forgetfulness masquerade as far more useful items. Have the PCs find one or the other amongst other, lesser treasures. They should be the best items in the bunch.
The egg of forgetfulness should be introduced long before you intend to run this. The Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer is very useful, and any mage should be quite happy with the egg's ability to provide it to him. Over time, however, begin introducing hints. Don't tell the mage about a party, but have an NPC ask him why he wasn't there... and insist that he was invited twice. Have an attractive NPC he's never met greet him as a dear friend (or relative!) and be insulted when he doesn't know them. Have one of the mage's other items turn up missing (he set it down on a table somewhere and forgot it). Don't forget Will saves for each event, of course - on a successful save, just hold off for a day.
The egg of betrayal can be introduced anytime. As a spear +3, it should be attractive to someone. More so than the egg of forgetfulness, this one has the potential to be an actual villain - when it finally attacks (in the middle of a very, very dangerous battle, it sneak attacks a friend or its owner), it will attempt to shift forms and flee.
In either case, the items can not be normally gotten rid of. The egg of betrayal will show up as a different item in a different horde. The egg of forgetfulness is even more insidious, as the PC will simply plan to get rid of it, and forget to do so.
Alternate Monte: This is a twist on the above. The items have not yet been found out. Have the PCs hear a rumor about a third egg in the same series... one guarded by evil monks and kept in a tiny fortress, where they use its wonderful powers to spread their villainy.
Someone Else's Problem: Someone else has one or both of the eggs, and hires the adventurers to help them. Or rather, their beautiful daughter does ("Dad always had a perfect memory, and I think that egg he got is doing this to him").
Sinkers
The plot is fairly straightforward. Get the eggs to the fortress, beat up the monks, put the eggs in the destruction device, and get rid of them. Maybe round up any other eggs they hear about while they're at it. The difficulties lie in the subtle evil of the eggs, and the PCs will have to be clever (and work together closely) to defeat the memory problems, and to keep a hold of the egg of betrayal (which, once their path becomes clear, will probably be trying to escape constantly). How difficult is up to the DM, of course, based on the abilities of his players. But numerous precautions will definitely be needed.
The egg of charming may or may not be encountered - it prefers to work through others, and would likely avoid directly confronting/charming the PCs, as it can't handle them all at once.
You can twist this scenario up a bit, and have one or more of the eggs plotting to destroy the others while saving themselves. The egg of forgetfulness could modify memories to make the egg of betrayal look bad. The egg of betrayal could avoid betraying its owner, and actively help the owner fight the monks, only to escape after the other eggs go in. The egg of charm could send the monks on a holy quest to destroy the other eggs... perhaps even hiring the PCs to help them contain them.
You could also stretch it out a bit. The egg of forgetfulness makes a good intelligent foe that most people would be inclined to underestimate. The egg of charming and its monks could also be a good long term villain.
.Ingredients
Amnesia
Island Fortress
Evil Monks
Eggs
Hangman Tree
Cursed Spear, Back-biter
Eggs of Doom
Summary: The PCs stumble across a Fabergé-like egg that intends to destroy them all. Unfortunately, it's practically indestructible, so they have to bring it to the site of its creation, where the means to break its vicious cycle lay. It's nastier than it sounds.
Foul Enchantments
Once upon a time, there lived a foul and wicked enchanter. He was a bitter man whose once good intentions had always gone astray, and instead of blaming himself, he blamed all else - gods, men, the cast of the sun, anything but himself. Eventually, consumed by his own desire for vengeance against all of his own failures, he crafted a plan to punish as many as he could feasibly arrange, long after his own inescapable death.
Although his name is long since lost, his final revenge lives on. Twelve finely crafted eggs of gold, silver, platinum and numerous jewels, given as gifts to various leaders of religious and secular bent both, are scattered about the world. Each has a particular power, and a malevolent intelligence guiding it. The less subtle ones have long since been destroyed, but there still exist an egg of charming, an egg of forgetfulness, and an egg of betrayal, all subtle enough to survive and continue their creators will.
All of the eggs are essentially indestructible - those that have been destroyed in the past, were destroyed at the enchanter's original tower, which is now guarded by one of the eggs to prevent the same happening in the future.
Egg of Charming
This golden egg, studded with rubies and an engraved mural of a festive party, was given to the head of a monastic order, and has remained with them since, slowly shaping the monks into a bastion of order and discipline.. one that dominates the surrounding lands by the iron fist of fear. The egg of charming can utilize a wide variety of charms such as charm person and dominate, but it prefers careful use of suggestion and controlling key people to influence others.
Under the influence of the egg, the monastery has relocated to the enchanters original home, a small tower fortress on a small island at the center of a modestly sized lake. Here, the egg (by way of the monks) guards the vault that the enchanter crafted to control the eggs... or destroy them if they turned on him.
The rubies gleam a little too brightly when it is using its powers.
Egg of Forgetfulness
This silver and brass egg is a marvel of clockwork which perpetually cycles inside the framework shell. It has wandered from hand to hand as it tires of (or destroys) its present owner. Not quite as subtle as its two remaining brothers, it has still managed to conceal its curse well enough.
The egg has three essential powers:
1) Attraction: Target must be within 5 feet. Target must make a Will save; on failure, target attempts to touch the egg. Once you touch the egg, it can affect you with its other powers. On success, nothing happens... and the target is unaware that anything almost happened. However, a success also means that the egg can not attempt it again for 24 hours.
2) Total Amnesia: Contact required, the subject puts the egg somewhere safe, or gives it away to a stranger, and completely forgets the egg's existence. The egg usually waits for its subject to be alone before attempting this.
3) Spells, as a 10th level sorcerer (including spells per day, with CHR 14): Daze (0), Sleep (1), Erase (1), Obscure Object (2), Detect Thoughts (2), Misdirection (2), Undetectable Alignment (2), Nondetection (3), Secret Page (3), Confusion (3), Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer (4), Feeblemind (4), Modify Memory (4), Mind Fog (5). All of these spells have a range of touch and area of one subject instead of their usual stats. The egg usually uses Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer to persuade its owner that it is beneficial to the owner's memory.
Essentially, the egg uses all of these spells to conceal its true nature, cause its owner to forget things at inappropriate times, rewrite the owner's calendar book (reverting to normal later), and so on... turning even the most devoutly disciplined of owners into a flaky wreck. It prefers owners with a lot to lose, naturally.
Egg of Betrayal
This platinum egg is constructed of a clever series of sharp-edged rings with bits of emerald between them. The wave-shaped edges and faint green reflections from the emeralds makes it look sea-like. Small cuts, similar to that received from crisp paper, are common among its owners. This is its natural appearance, but not the only one it might have...
The egg is somewhat animate in its own right, and can shapeshift into useful items. In most such situations, it can be treated as a +3 item or weapon, and that's exactly how it behaves, until it finds a good point at which it can betray its owner. At that point the item will fail the owner, usually catastrophically, before shapeshifting into a good form to escape in. Divination magics will also reveal it simply as a useful magic item. However, once it betrays someone, it must flee and hide, as it will shift back to its natural state a few rounds later, and can not shift again for an hour.
It is currently in the form of a spear.
Hangman Tree
This is the monk's symbol: it is tacked on to their crest.
The fortress also has one in the central garden, where it may inconvenience the adventurers.
Hook and Sinker
Hooks
Monte Maul: Both the egg of betrayal and the egg of forgetfulness masquerade as far more useful items. Have the PCs find one or the other amongst other, lesser treasures. They should be the best items in the bunch.
The egg of forgetfulness should be introduced long before you intend to run this. The Rary's Mnemonic Enhancer is very useful, and any mage should be quite happy with the egg's ability to provide it to him. Over time, however, begin introducing hints. Don't tell the mage about a party, but have an NPC ask him why he wasn't there... and insist that he was invited twice. Have an attractive NPC he's never met greet him as a dear friend (or relative!) and be insulted when he doesn't know them. Have one of the mage's other items turn up missing (he set it down on a table somewhere and forgot it). Don't forget Will saves for each event, of course - on a successful save, just hold off for a day.
The egg of betrayal can be introduced anytime. As a spear +3, it should be attractive to someone. More so than the egg of forgetfulness, this one has the potential to be an actual villain - when it finally attacks (in the middle of a very, very dangerous battle, it sneak attacks a friend or its owner), it will attempt to shift forms and flee.
In either case, the items can not be normally gotten rid of. The egg of betrayal will show up as a different item in a different horde. The egg of forgetfulness is even more insidious, as the PC will simply plan to get rid of it, and forget to do so.
Alternate Monte: This is a twist on the above. The items have not yet been found out. Have the PCs hear a rumor about a third egg in the same series... one guarded by evil monks and kept in a tiny fortress, where they use its wonderful powers to spread their villainy.
Someone Else's Problem: Someone else has one or both of the eggs, and hires the adventurers to help them. Or rather, their beautiful daughter does ("Dad always had a perfect memory, and I think that egg he got is doing this to him").
Sinkers
The plot is fairly straightforward. Get the eggs to the fortress, beat up the monks, put the eggs in the destruction device, and get rid of them. Maybe round up any other eggs they hear about while they're at it. The difficulties lie in the subtle evil of the eggs, and the PCs will have to be clever (and work together closely) to defeat the memory problems, and to keep a hold of the egg of betrayal (which, once their path becomes clear, will probably be trying to escape constantly). How difficult is up to the DM, of course, based on the abilities of his players. But numerous precautions will definitely be needed.
The egg of charming may or may not be encountered - it prefers to work through others, and would likely avoid directly confronting/charming the PCs, as it can't handle them all at once.
You can twist this scenario up a bit, and have one or more of the eggs plotting to destroy the others while saving themselves. The egg of forgetfulness could modify memories to make the egg of betrayal look bad. The egg of betrayal could avoid betraying its owner, and actively help the owner fight the monks, only to escape after the other eggs go in. The egg of charm could send the monks on a holy quest to destroy the other eggs... perhaps even hiring the PCs to help them contain them.
You could also stretch it out a bit. The egg of forgetfulness makes a good intelligent foe that most people would be inclined to underestimate. The egg of charming and its monks could also be a good long term villain.
incognito
First Post
Ha! I've beat that mouthy/write-aholic seasong to the critiquing punch!
Here now is this Judge's decision in the seasong vs Imhotepthewise
Just to remind our contestant's I'm looking for proper use of the ingredients, playability of the scenario. Writing style, originality, and hooks/spin-off’s also factor in.
Let's begin with seasong because he wrote first:
Even Seasong's bad writing is still pretty ok. And we can see how a little sleep deprivation can affect a submission. Let's start with the bad, because there are a few really obvious omissions.
#1 Where's the Paladin's holy mount? Is it that little pony thing? Seasong took some poetic licence with the ingredient, but it just feels like he excluded it - I missed it after 3 readings!
#2 The drow card. If you're going to incorporate the drow, in a backstory, plot hook, and in the loose ends, don;t they deserve an encounter or two in the actual story? Espcially since according to the plot hook, they've encountered the dancing sword/been in the tower. If there is a danger of the drow overtaking the tower -why doesn't the party bump into them on thier way to doing just that?
#3 Weak ingredients. Gargantuan fire beetle AND Flooded mine feel tacked on; something for Tom to do. While sesong set up two interesting and role-play filled creepies (Tom Gallows & Mud), the inclusion of these elements seems too over the top/unlikely/'magicky' - added just for the ingredient of it, than adding anything to the adventure.
So what's good?
The tower itself, both as a power center that multiple groups can struggle over, and a realistic place to explore. Notice how so many evil mage/cleric types build their fortresses right out in the open? W'sup with that - the local goody-goodies are bound to notice and send in adventuring types to "strength check DC 25" a few doors.
The necromancer's toys: It's tough to create horror. I've tried. It's easy to make things that are gross, but difficult to make things downright creepy. Tom Gallows is creepy. The living diary is creepy - great ingredient use. Mud, if his name wasn't so lam, is also another nasty thing one could see a necromancer doing to someone. Mud needs a better MO, and a much better name, but at least I totally see him, wandering the halls of the tower, giving Tom a good wallop every now and again.
So...it appears that Imhotepthewise has a chance at deposing the veteran! On to his submission.
First, a brief nod to the fact that English is not Imhotepthewise's first language. Since this is a writing competition, he is at an inherent disadvantage, the again, no one forced him to take part in this contest in the first place.
These all based on the saddened Paladin's Mount: this is the best use I've seen of this ingredient. In no one else's story do I really feel for the horse, including the official IronDM submissions. Good job Imhotep!
We do tend to see the beetle and the flooded mine used together. Do, while not entirely unique, it is still passable. Note that Imhotep provides for non-combat solutions for all the encounters. I like that! a Hack and slack pary can hack, and a role-playing party can do their thing as well. My players tend to go 50/50 - I think there is value to be had in having the option.
Where this scenario falls down is the interaction with the crippled rogue, mount, and the greatsword. Why would a paladin's greatsword consort with a banished rouge? Why would a highly intelligent mount allow the rogue anywhere near his fallen master's sword? Or the diary? Better to drown than consort with the toungle-less one.
It's not that I don't like the concept of this rogue, it's just that there is not enough reason for events to play out as the back-story describes. It make's more sense for the horse to stomp he rouge flat, or the sword to reject him.
....both these submission have a few compelling concepts, both has some serious flaws. Seaong sneaked an ingredient or two in while Imfotep faces language and contextual challenges.
It all comes down to: is seasong's ingredient blunders a big enough penalty to make Imhotepthewise's scattered, soemtime's unintuitive entry the victor?
It isn't.
I award this round to seasong, becasue IronDM is about a single scenario, not about setting up a campaign.
Oh, and boy's: one word Exposition!
Here now is this Judge's decision in the seasong vs Imhotepthewise
Just to remind our contestant's I'm looking for proper use of the ingredients, playability of the scenario. Writing style, originality, and hooks/spin-off’s also factor in.
Let's begin with seasong because he wrote first:
Even Seasong's bad writing is still pretty ok. And we can see how a little sleep deprivation can affect a submission. Let's start with the bad, because there are a few really obvious omissions.
#1 Where's the Paladin's holy mount? Is it that little pony thing? Seasong took some poetic licence with the ingredient, but it just feels like he excluded it - I missed it after 3 readings!
#2 The drow card. If you're going to incorporate the drow, in a backstory, plot hook, and in the loose ends, don;t they deserve an encounter or two in the actual story? Espcially since according to the plot hook, they've encountered the dancing sword/been in the tower. If there is a danger of the drow overtaking the tower -why doesn't the party bump into them on thier way to doing just that?
#3 Weak ingredients. Gargantuan fire beetle AND Flooded mine feel tacked on; something for Tom to do. While sesong set up two interesting and role-play filled creepies (Tom Gallows & Mud), the inclusion of these elements seems too over the top/unlikely/'magicky' - added just for the ingredient of it, than adding anything to the adventure.
So what's good?
The tower itself, both as a power center that multiple groups can struggle over, and a realistic place to explore. Notice how so many evil mage/cleric types build their fortresses right out in the open? W'sup with that - the local goody-goodies are bound to notice and send in adventuring types to "strength check DC 25" a few doors.
The necromancer's toys: It's tough to create horror. I've tried. It's easy to make things that are gross, but difficult to make things downright creepy. Tom Gallows is creepy. The living diary is creepy - great ingredient use. Mud, if his name wasn't so lam, is also another nasty thing one could see a necromancer doing to someone. Mud needs a better MO, and a much better name, but at least I totally see him, wandering the halls of the tower, giving Tom a good wallop every now and again.
So...it appears that Imhotepthewise has a chance at deposing the veteran! On to his submission.
First, a brief nod to the fact that English is not Imhotepthewise's first language. Since this is a writing competition, he is at an inherent disadvantage, the again, no one forced him to take part in this contest in the first place.
These all based on the saddened Paladin's Mount: this is the best use I've seen of this ingredient. In no one else's story do I really feel for the horse, including the official IronDM submissions. Good job Imhotep!
We do tend to see the beetle and the flooded mine used together. Do, while not entirely unique, it is still passable. Note that Imhotep provides for non-combat solutions for all the encounters. I like that! a Hack and slack pary can hack, and a role-playing party can do their thing as well. My players tend to go 50/50 - I think there is value to be had in having the option.
Where this scenario falls down is the interaction with the crippled rogue, mount, and the greatsword. Why would a paladin's greatsword consort with a banished rouge? Why would a highly intelligent mount allow the rogue anywhere near his fallen master's sword? Or the diary? Better to drown than consort with the toungle-less one.
It's not that I don't like the concept of this rogue, it's just that there is not enough reason for events to play out as the back-story describes. It make's more sense for the horse to stomp he rouge flat, or the sword to reject him.
....both these submission have a few compelling concepts, both has some serious flaws. Seaong sneaked an ingredient or two in while Imfotep faces language and contextual challenges.
It all comes down to: is seasong's ingredient blunders a big enough penalty to make Imhotepthewise's scattered, soemtime's unintuitive entry the victor?
It isn't.
I award this round to seasong, becasue IronDM is about a single scenario, not about setting up a campaign.
Oh, and boy's: one word Exposition!
Last edited:
