D&D General How Do I Help Mentor a GM Making Rookie Mistakes?

[Retreater]

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I’m a Forever GM who tends to be a “bad player” on the rare occasions I get to play. I don’t necessarily cause problems, but I have strong preferences, and it’s easy for me to get bored or judgemental.

Recently, I decided to take a break from running games and have chosen to limit my time in the hobby. I’ve passed the GMing duties to the college-aged daughter of another player in the group. I’m trying to be adaptable to the GM’s style, go along with playing a system that isn’t my favorite, and taking a class that isn’t my favorite to accommodate the fun of everyone else at the table. In short, I’m trying to be supportive as a player. And as a former GM, I’m trying to do everything I can to help her succeed - giving her access to minis, battlemaps, ambient music, rulebooks, etc.

But there’s stuff that I really want to push back on. For example, she has a habit of adding houserules in the middle of play. To make things more confusing, we're playing Level Up, which is a system that is new to us and a little more complex than we're used to. She keeps adding and changing things so we can't get our bearings.

“You just got a critical hit, so you’re going to take a lingering injury that can’t be healed without proper medical care.”
“You’re not going to keep your starting wealth. So you’re broke.”
“You don’t get hit points every level.”
“You have to burn Hit Dice to recover hit points on a rest.”
“I’m not going to tell you the DC or why you’re rolling.”
"I didn't realize that feat was so good - you can't use it anymore."
Additionally, it seems that EVERY encounter has taken place with me out of my armor with an AC of 10.

Basically, this is a GM’s first campaign, and there’s a lot of stuff she’s doing that’s against “GM best practices” and that I can tell are annoying other players as well as me.

So, do I bring this up to her? If so, how do I do it that doesn’t make me seem like a jerk trying to usurp control from a first-time GM? I want to be supportive, but I am seeing her make rookie GM mistakes. Do I try to push back to have a better time in the game - or do I value the necessity of her making these mistakes?

 

[Morrus]

I think you don't. Let her make her mistakes. We all made mistakes when we started (and still do).

Compliment her on the stuff she's doing great. Don't feel it's your duty to mentor her--unless she asks.

 

[aco175]

It is hard being a first time DM, especially so if the other players are experienced DMs and/or older people. You want to encourage her to be the DM, but also want a consistent style and rules.

Some things are flexible and others might not be. Critical hits with a lingering injury- maybe ask why or show how this hurts the PCs over the monsters. Maybe she is looking at too much trying to make the games cools and stumbled on a lingering injury table. Maybe she wants to do everything good and should have stopped at baby steps. Not getting more HP after 1st level might be something you push back harder on. Stop the game and ask her to explain why and get the other players to help argue why or what is in the rules.

If this is the first time playing a new system, I always recommend playing by the book first before modifying things.

 

[bloodtide]

Yes, bring the things up to her. Most people like feedback. You should be able to do it right and nice.

Though be careful saying they are "mistakes because everyone else does/does not do them", as that is still just your view point.

Ask her if she would like advice or even a mentor. I do it for tons of people.

 

[Cadence]

I wonder how "Do you have a google doc or something with all of your house rules in it? I think that would be cool for everyone to be able to see." would go over.

 

[Retreater]

I wonder how "Do you have a google doc or something with all of your house rules in it? I think that would be cool for everyone to be able to see." would go over.

After the last session, I did request that we go over houserules before the start of the next session so we could be on the same page.

 

[payn]

After the last session, I did request that we go over houserules before the start of the next session so we could be on the same page.

This seems like the best move. Sounds like the GM is making a lot of gut checks without a lot of experience in how the game works overall. I think instead of saying "this sucks dont do it", but instead asking for a review of houserules should be a good indicator that the players are feeling some confusion and not on the same page without being critical in specifics.

 

[R_J_K75]

So, do I bring this up to her?

I would. In the 30+ years that I've GM'd the majority of the time I've rarely if ever gotten feedback, even though I would have liked some. Even when I asked, I usually got the answer that the game was going well, even though I knew there were things I could be doing better. I had a player who started DMing for a while a few years back and was doing some of the same things and really frustrated me as a player. It's one thing to make a ruling and keep the game moving, review it after the session to make sure your rulings in the future are more in line with actual rules. Its a completely another thing to create and implement house rules, change rules, and take away player character abilities mid-game. At the very least it should be addressed out of game after the session. GMing isnt easy no matter how long you've been at it, I think she may appreciate the feedback and advice.

 

[Cadence]

After the last session, I did request that we go over houserules before the start of the next session so we could be on the same page.

With a young, first time DM I would just avoid making it sound like you needed a definitive list of all the ones the DM ever plans on using. I don't think it exists yet, and might put them on the defensive. Maybe "houserules you've thought of so far"?

 

[Reynard]

Does your group do after action reports or otherwise discuss how the game is going away from actual play time? That would be a good time to have an open discussion with everyone.

But mostly I agree with @Morrus here -- let her break it a little bit. Enthusiasm is worth a lot and I would be hesitant to interrupt hers.