D&D General How Do I Help Mentor a GM Making Rookie Mistakes?

[Umbran]

Basically, this is a GM’s first campaign, and there’s a lot of stuff she’s doing that’s against “GM best practices” and that I can tell are annoying other players as well as me.

So, do I bring this up to her? If so, how do I do it that doesn’t make me seem like a jerk trying to usurp control from a first-time GM? I want to be supportive, but I am seeing her make rookie GM mistakes. Do I try to push back to have a better time in the game - or do I value the necessity of her making these mistakes?

Did she ask for your help?
Did she complain that folks aren't having a good time, and she doesn't know why?
If not, it would be showing her great disrespect to step in.

 

[Retreater]

Did she ask for your help?
Did she complain that folks aren't having a good time, and she doesn't know why?
If not, it would be showing her great disrespect to step in.

No. But the player frustration is palpable. I'd like all of us to have a good time (or at least to speak up for myself).

 

[Deset Gled]

 

[Umbran]

No. But the player frustration is palpable. I'd like all of us to have a good time (or at least to speak up for myself).

You can always speak up for yourself.

But then, you aren't acting as a coach. You should limit yourself to letting her know you've got a problem, and need her help working through it.

If she's running a game for a bunch of people who have played or run games more than she has, she's at significant risk of being pushed around by the players. She should get a chance to be her own GM... even if that's not your kind of GM.

Heck, maybe she's got her own reasons for what she's doing, and the result will actually be awesome, just a little different than what you're used to. Maybe she just hasn't learned that she ought to communicate those a bit better.

 

[Sulicius]

I would 100% bring it up after the session or even before the next with everyone present.

Make sure to lather it with praise, but explain your issues without criticism, and ask what the rest of the table thinks.

So far, a lot of these look like additional detrimental effects, are there also rule of cool rulings she uses?

Tell her that it is common to decide on house rules that are important to player characters in session 0, and that you prefer to have an agreement among the entire table before adding new ones.

Ask her if she understands your issues, and what she thinks of your issues.

Chances are, she might not know how you feel about this at all.

If you are not having a good time playing a game with friends, it is normal to bring it up. Just be careful not to make it criticism. Stick with concrete examples and how they made you feel.

 

[dave2008]

DId you have a session 0? That would have been the best place to discuss some of these issues.

At this point, I do think it is probably a good idea to have some type of discussion about it.

 

[zottel]

Just say 'I am having a hard time with unexpected rule changes.', either before, after or between sessions. I don't think it needs to be more complicated than that.

 

[billd91]

I think maybe you'd be best off with a one on one chat and say that you have some questions that you'd like clarified without trying to call any of them "rookie mistakes". Rookies are expected to make mistakes - it's one way they learn. You can even talk about how these house rules should be recorded so that people can plan for them while playing.

As far as specifics, I'm not sure all of these are mistakes as much as stylistic issues:

“You just got a critical hit, so you’re going to take a lingering injury that can’t be healed without proper medical care.”
“You’re not going to keep your starting wealth. So you’re broke.”
“You don’t get hit points every level.”
“You have to burn Hit Dice to recover hit points on a rest.”
“I’m not going to tell you the DC or why you’re rolling.”
"I didn't realize that feat was so good - you can't use it anymore."
Additionally, it seems that EVERY encounter has taken place with me out of my armor with an AC of 10.

• Starting with no cash beyond whatever you spent to get your starting gear isn't necessarily a bad way to start. It means you're motivated to take on jobs to put food on the table. It's pretty common in fantasy literature for heroes to be scrounging between gigs.
• Not knowing the DC or while you're rolling can be appropriate for a number of different situations, particularly when there is some unknown factor involved that would be spoiled if full info were given out.
• Every encounter happening when you're not wearing your armor sounds like a circumstance issue. Lots of encounters at night or something? I don't see how that's inappropriate. Maybe get some sleeping leathers or other back-up, quick-don armor so you have a slightly better AC for times you don't have time to don a full suit of armor.
• Banning feats - lots of DMs do that. Many even over-hastily after the shock of experiencing it once. Those can often by hashed out by a discussion - but at the very least, it would seem a PC with that banned feat is owed a replacement feat.

But for things that are mistakes - mainly a proliferation of actual rule changes:

• You might bring up that crits come up against PCs a lot over their lifetime and establish what exactly constitutes proper medical care.
• Not gaining hit points every level - well, that's gonna have repercussions as PCs level up - but since this is just for the summer, it probably won't be a big deal now.

And don't you normally spend hit dice to recover hit points during a short rest? Or are we talking about a long rest here rather than a short rest?

 

[DEFCON 1]

No. Double no. Triple no.

She is her own DM. She is going to learn her own best practices. She is not going to be perfect, and she is not going to be the best DM for how each and every one of you wish to play the game. Heck... I've seen enough of your posts complaining about your players and all the different ways they play the game and what is important to them and how even you can't seem to make them all happy to know that there is ZERO chance this young woman is going to be able to do it.

So like @Deset Gled said... let it go. This is not about you. This is not about you having a "good time" playing D&D. This is about THIS person learning how to DM and you doing what you can to make it a good one. Enjoy the weirdness for what it is... even if it isn't how you would run your own game. After all... if you were playing Paranoia you'd know that the game would be run weird and odd things would happen and things wouldn't make sense and there wouldn't be any consistency... so just treat this game as though you were playing Paranoia and try and have fun playing this Paranoia-style game of D&D.

Or if that is too much for you... if you need your time at the table to be absolutely perfect (which we all know isn't actually the case based upon the half-dozen campaigns of all different types you have tried to run for your various players and for which you have made many threads here on EN World where you are pulling your hair out over them)... then truly step away. You always keep saying you feel like you need a break from gaming but then keep getting dragged back into it (by your wife and others)... so finally just do it if this game is really such a hardship.

But if its not... if you can be happy just watching this young woman stumble through her first time as a DM and learn the ins and outs of it and hopefully learn to LOVE the art of DMing... then do it. Make her time as a DM the BEST time of her gaming life. Don't soil it by continually telling her what she's doing "wrong".

 

[Retreater]

DId you have a session 0? That would have been the best place to discuss some of these issues.

We did have a session zero. No specific rule changes were discussed. It was mostly just for character creation.

And don't you normally spend hit dice to recover hit points during a short rest? Or are we talking about a long rest here rather than a short rest?

During a long rest.