Ultimately I agree. D&D has a very certain feel to it, heroic fantasy, and most people who want that will want lots of fighting.It appears to me that the situation, as you describe it, is unresolvable.
You want to run a game that is fundamentally not D&D (you would prefer to run a game that is actually not D&D, but have been unable to do so). The players in your area (social circle? network reach?) want to play D&D.
This is going to lead to a bad time.