Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
Wow. I couldn't disagree with the above any more!
I don't know if you're reading into my post in a way where you think, "How dare a guy tell people how a girl games" or if you honestly think I'm way off. But I've brought 4 different women into D&D, all different ages and all different backgrounds. I'm just speaking from my experience and they are currently hooked on D&D. My fiance is on her 4th year of gaming & loves it, another girl is on her 2nd year, and my newest female player in my group just had her 1 year gaming anniversary & she's the one that just begged the group to play 2 weekends in a row since we just played lastnight and this weekend is a 3-day weekend. The only reason the 4th woman isn't playing is because my buddy divorced her. I did DM other girls several years ago but life got in the way and I stopped DM'ing for several years.
First, role playing can be very uncomfortable for new players - especially if they're a little timid about playing to begin with!
If a person is a good DM and a good roleplayer, he'll know the limits to go with a new player. I agree that if your roleplaying with a new player in an overbearing way, it can be intimidating. That's a good thing to point out but I disagree that you shouldn't roleplay at all until you've established a relationship at the table with the new player. My experience was that the women really got into the roleplaying more than combat. I can tell you now that my fiance is one that would
never have even tried D&D again if all I showed her was combat. The reason I liked D&D after playing my first game was because of the roleplaying and the situation I was put in. My fond memories have nothing to do with the combat & dice rolling...but I sure like remembering the interaction my character had with various NPCs that first session.
There's only so many "CHICK FIGHT! THAT'S SO HOT!" a woman can take.
Please don't turn my good intentioned suggestion into nothing more than a hormone crazed teenage fantasy. If your male DMs handle females in his world as nothing but chainmail bikini clad amazonian women, then I feel your pain. But I handle my female players with the same standards as I would hanlde my male players...with respect.
The bar fight is a classic D&D scenario and it is classic because it works & it's fun. A woman player can have just as much fun in a bar fight as a guy does. The only reason I suggested using a drunk woman rather than a drunk guy was because I thought maybe the OPs girlfriend might be insulted if her boyfriend did the sleezy guy routine since it's such a typical stereotype for a womans conflict. A female opponent for a female character has always gotten my female players wanting to hurt that NPC more than they wanted to hurt the male NPCs.
You insinuating that a drunk girl in a bar picking a fight with a female character is "hot" basically should mean that as a woman, you should find it "hot" when a drunk man picks a fight with your fellow male players characters. I mean, that's just as silly of a thing to say as what you blasted at me. Drunk man on man fights...great idea! I'll even have them strip down to their thongs..."Now where *burp* did I put that sap? *hiccup* Oh....here *hiccup* it is! *burp*"
I've gotta say, were that to have happened in my first session, I probably never would have come back.
Trust me....I would have done that in your first session and you would have been begging me to DM you again the next day
Lastly, giving a new player the spotlight can do a lot for building esteem and making her want to come back, but it does little to show her what the game is really about. It's about sharing the spotlight, collective story telling, and heroic ass kicking.
I mean, if her character is going to die in her first session, there's something to be said for fudging the dice, but you want her to feel like a part of the group and avoid setting a standard for unequal treatment. And that goes for any player, not just the chicks.
It took me a minute for this to register but I just realized what you were referring to. I should have made it clear...when I was saying make the new player shine by letting her get away with knocking out 3 drunks or whatever, I was referring to a solo game. I suggested starting a new player off in a solo game or with just 1 other player. Take it easy on her and let her get away with certain things that she attempts to do so she thinks her PC is "cool". I wasn't meaning that she should outshine other players in a group game.
Then slowly put the pressure on her character so she understands the dangers of the world the more she plays. I do that with all my new players.
