D&D General How do you handle Romance in D&D games?

[Lanefan]

How do I handle it? I just let it happen as a natural part of roleplaying characters.

Whether between PC-PC, PC-NPC, or NPC-NPC*; crushes, flirtations, jealousies, one-nighters, romances, marriages, breakups, lovers' quarrels, love triangles, unrequited love tragedies, promiscuity, etc. - it's all happened before in our games, it'll all happen again, and it's all fair game for roleplay.

Sex is usually fade-to-black.

* - just because those are listed in pairs, don't assume the number of characters involved in these is always limited to just two at a time.

 

[Charlaquin]

IMO it’s something to include on a player consent survey.

 

[schneeland]

Actual romance is rare for us; if anything its mostly harmless flirtations with NPCs. Sex is even rarer and always implied/fade-to-black (insinuations are a bit stranger for Cyberpunk games, but the general rule still applies). I don't think I ever played in a group where PC-PC relationships happens (some people I played with in the past started dating real-life after a few sessions, though ).

 

[J.Quondam]

It's never seriously come up in any of my games, except as something lighthearted/humorous, or else as a plot device.

The one exception was a 2e campaign I played in back in college. In it, a PC and the DMPC established a deep relationship that often led to long, soul-searching dialog. That was probably interesting to those two, but not at all engaging for the other four or five of us at the table.

For better or worse, I think that experience left me with a pretty sour attitude toward romance in games. That said, if it ever came up among players while I'm GMing, I would give it an honest try.

edit: And sex is almost certainly a nope for me.

 

[Composer99]

Some romance and flirting is fine. Sex is fade to black. I think anything reaching that point is beyond what my current playgroup would be comfortable with.

We did have a fun mini-arc where one of the PCs had a crush on an NPC in Hoard of the Dragon Queen. Problem was (for the PC at least) that the NPC was Jamna Gleamsilver, the murderous gnome spy, who I played as a complete sociopath. (She ended up letting him down easy, not out of any sentiment but in order to not completely alienate a potential asset or ally of other potential assets.) Very entertaining.

 

[Retreater]

I avoid it.
There's nothing more awkward to me than sitting around with a bunch of fellow gamers role-playing a romantic situation with them.

 

[Jmarso]

Playing as a teen back in the day, with friends, it was always sort of PG references to 'seducing the barmaid' or the occasional woodland dryad encounter, etc., but it was always a 'fade to black' kind of thing and it never got graphic, too dramatic, or detracted from gameplay- just a bunch of hormone-ridden teens verbalizing their 'seduce the busty tavern wench' fantasies. Success or failure was determined by dice rolls- very tame. Occasionally there was a marriageable princess to rescue and marry that might lead to a land grant and title from a grateful noble- that sort of thing.

As an adult playing with other adults and...(gasp)...women(!)... it generally doesn't come up. We have one female player who has used her feminine 'wiles' to con some money out of an NPC, but it was in a good cause, not for herself. We still chuckle about it a bit, sessions later. It's a gothic horror Ravenloft-style campaign, so opportunities for romance have been slim, as most of the NPC's are dreary, overtaxed, downtrodden, undead-terrorized serfs- when they aren't actually undead! (As were the PC's before taking up 'the life').

 

[Oofta]

Romance can play a big part in my games, both between PCs and between PCs and NPCs. However, I keep the game and descriptions PG-13, I don't really want or need any graphic details. I've never had an issue with it, there have been marriages, romances and all sorts of things that happen in real life. Years pass in-game during my campaigns, it would be kind of odd if some of the PCs didn't get romantically involved with someone at some point.

I provide opportunities for romance, but it's always up to the player to see if they want to pursue it.

 

[Lanefan]

Romantic in-game story involving my namesake character:

In some adventure way back when, we lost about half of a very large (13-character?) party to one mishap or another. Later in that same adventure we found a Ring of Wishes with one wish left in it, and I used that wish as a mass-revival and got everyone back to life. The ring then lost its magic but remained a nice ring, and I later claimed it from treasury and kept it.

One of the characters (a party NPC at the time) revived with that wish became a good friend and then much more, to the point where we eventually married. And guess what ring I put on her finger at the wedding?



p.s. - both characters are still active in play today, and - somewhat amazingly - still married.

 

[doctorbadwolf]

I think the main thing is to make it as cringey for everyone as possible so they get back to dungeon delving and never try it again.

Ah yea, the classic “punish players for being interested in roleplaying and not just constant dungeoneering” routine. Great advice. /s